Why is it that most people seem to assume that single fathers are always just weekend dads that have to pay maintenance to their kids mothers. So, I've had a few conversations with people this week who found out or wanted to chat about me and my kids. They find out my ex-wife and I are separated. However, I keep getting the same question asked very early in these conversations. That is "so, do you pay your kids mum maintanance". It makes me so cross. No I don't. I have my children half of the week and pay my equal (if not sometimes more) my share of everything. Over the years, I've spent so much more time than their mum giving them attention and playing with them (she really isn't very maternal, although she does love our boys). I teach them both so much more and interact with them so much more and did even when we were still together. I would happily say, without trying to sound arrogant, that I pretty much raised them myself despite her casual indifference and complacency and any one close to me knows that. My kids mean everything to me. It just makes me so mad, that there is this unfair stereotype of single fathers as weekend parents who are more interested in themselves and their own lives than their kids and essentially pay the mothers to do the work. Sorry for the rant. What are your thoughts on this type of stereotyping? Happy days
I wish all dads would be like you. My own father isn't even a weekend dad, he's a deadbeat who gets his wage garnished. Otherwise he wouldn't pay at all, and he's currently suing us to not pay child support. His legal argument is literally that he doesn't believe in me. Well literally it's that he doesn't believe I'll graduate from school, but it's the same thing. It's ridiculous to assume that all fathers just want to do the bare minimum though, in fact some dads do all the work after they get divorced.
I agree... My parents split up when my sister and I were about 12 and 14. I stayed with my Dad, my sister went with my Mum. Despite the fact that they had one child each and my mother told them repeatedly that she didn't want any maintenance, he had the Child Support Agency hounding and threatening him constantly and forcing him to pay a lot of money to her. I think they have got rid of the CSA now (??) but it was one of the most biased systems I've ever seen... And, when I tell people that my parents split up, they always assume that my Dad was the one who left and that my Mum brought me up, and they generally look really shocked when I explain that they are wrong on both counts... I find that most people adopt that stereotypical anti-father bias, even if they aren't always aware that they are. Unfortunately it's just ingrained into society. I do think that it's improving slowly though. Kudos to all the single parents out there, including you Radioactive
I agree. People always bitch to me (not a parent but) that being a single father is a little abusive to the children and how dare single fathers not have a mother for them. I can attest through first hand experience that I would have been FAR better off with a father than a single mother. Just sayin. And yes, lots of dads SUCK (like mine) but that still isn't excuse enough for people to jump to the conclusion that you are a semi-functioning parent who still has paternal issues.
I agree that the stereotype is unfair on people like you, you sound an amazing dad, but my dad is like just as bad if not worse than you described.
