Our same-sex relationship between Frank and myself lasted for over 35 years. Thing is -- he was not very likable and was really hard to get along with. He was kind of a brainy, know-it-all nerd -- condescending, judgmental, spiteful, temperamental, argumentative, impatient, snobbish and nebby: And those were his good qualities. He wasn't well-liked in school and didn't get along with anybody. And he was only good-looking in a hipster sort of way. To be honest, I really didn't like Frank all that much. But I always returned to Frank. After three relationships ended (with women) I went back to Frank. So why did I stay with Frank for 35 years? Was it just the sex?
I mean, I managed to have a relationship with a sleazy, drunkard, abusive guy who only liked me for my looks. Anytime I said anything remotely intelligent, he would act condescending towards me and just be a know-it-all. No you know why I stopped going out with him :lol:
That depends on what makes her unlikeable. If it's the same stuff that makes me unlikeable, it wouldn't bother me. Does it feel like it was the sex that made you return to him? Were you attracted to any of those qualities? It could be because of how long the relationship was, and you don't want to let go. Was it your only serious relationship?
Maybe he was familiar and comfortable, or alternatively, refreshing and different, compared to your other connections with other people. It probably wasn't just the sex because for most people sex alone isn't strong enough for entire long relationships to be built upon.
Well, I considered the relationships that I had with women to be serious relationships, but the phys...no, the sex, there I've said it, with Frank was better. I had a few flings with guys, but Frank was my only serious guy. I guess it was a trade-off. I put up with his dick-headed attitude because the SEX...well, I guess I don't have to go any further.
Sometimes, we are drawn to people who treat us like shit, because it challenges our confidence/ego. We want to know why they don't like anyone, especially us! So, when they show sentiment in favor of us, we take it in a sort of "Ah, see, I'm the exception! I'm special" manner. Or, so this is what I've noticed from people, who tend to be in relationships they don't enjoy in general. They cling to those temporary lapses, because it validates something inside of them. Is it healthy? Not really. But, it's normal to be perplexed, as to why someone isn't liked/desirable, more so if it is us not liked or desirable.
It depends on what makes him unlikable. If he treats me bad, he's gone. But if he's "annoying" or "different" in society's eyes, but I like him and he treats me right, than why not?
Well Frank was sort of like the Felix Unger character in the Odd Couple. So I guess if you're going to be with someone like that you pretty much have to tolerate them.
I think some people like kaiser was putting like people that treats them like shit , I have had a few relationships where I had chased or stuck with people that treated me like shit . But now as I'm older I now have a low tolerance for people who treat me like shit , when I see the first signs I'm out , it could be relationships or friendships . But lately I still think about this one girl that treated me like shit it's like I want nothing to do with her but I wonder why did she treat me that way .
If people are abusive toward you -- physically or mentally -- you have to get them out of your life. It will only erode you to where you won't be able to grow as a person.
