For the purpose of this thread long distance will be same timezone and seeing each other every third weekend for friday night, saturday whole day, sunday day and afternoon. So I am planning on going to London for University but if my grades decide for me I will be pretty much forced into St Andrews. This is quite a distance from my boyfriend (plane journey, six hours car journey or seven hours on the train. I appreciate this is long timewise but in terms of cost it's pretty high, especially as we will be students. So we will be spending every third weekend together and the holidays because we currently live 20 minutes from one another and aren't moving. In terms of how we deal with being apart from one another we do ok, provided we are busy and not both sitting there waiting for a text. He has currently been abroad for three weeks and we are coping just fine but I'm not sure how that would be for me on a regular basis. We've been going out for seven months now and have, in my opinion, an incredible healthy relationship that is not codependent (I've been in enough to know when one is). So I made this thread to basically let you guys give me some advice on what that sort of time apart from each other is like in a relationship and how you have found it in the past. This has just been causing me alot of stress over the past couple of months so I would really appreciate all words of wisdom or someone telling me I am being a tosser and that it will be fine. (St Andrews is known for it's unusually long holidays)
I would say it depends who you are. It did work for me for a little while, but I find it difficult to build a strong connection with someone if we rarely see each other. I don't often get in relationships to spend most my time alone just because their always my best friend and boyfriend to be honest. In your case I would use this as a foundation for a relationship and see how you personally feel. Some people don't mind their own company and doing their own thing and seeing each other on occasion, just personal opinions I guess.
I'm the same and that's why I want to make it work. He is my best friend and my boyfriend so I don't want to let go of that just because we won't see eachother as often. We could still face time and spend the holidays together but I just wonder if it would be the same as it is now?
I would just really consider what you are getting into before committing to it, further down the road it is harder to go back to friends if you feel it isn't working. I'm the kind of guy who wants to hold their partner, I don't get the satisfaction of just text and talking on the phone so it's difficult for me. I'm a lover and I like to experience all of that new and exciting energy rather then go it alone for a while and feel committed before we have even spent a good amount of time together. Don't mean to be rude or anything but if I am with someone I have those urges and I want to play those out with that person.
I'm gonna say no...even the strongest of bonds like mother and daughter can be weakened by distance...trust me, I'm speaking from personal experience
Dont worry, you're helping me out not being rude! I'm the same but I think that I could wait 19 days if I knew and I mean knew that we could spend the holidays we'd get together because St Andrews Also if we made those three days every three weeks we saw eachother special then I think it would make it much easier. He's been away for a few weeks now and we miss eachother but I know hes enjoying himself so it's easier and I spent pretty much the entire month with him like everyday before he left. ---------- Post added 4th Aug 2014 at 07:25 AM ---------- Even if we saw each other on a regular basis (even if it was infrequent)
I think you have a good plan and intentions and to be honest nobody could talk me out of 'being' in that situation because all of me thought it was going to work, and I am not saying it won't, just in my experience it didn't. but then we are all different and if you can stay strong about it you should be fine, it isn't forever after all. Just try and set a side time for each other when you can, and like you say make those weekends worth it.
I've been with my girlfriend for nearly three years, and she lives more than 8000 miles away. I think you can make it work if you try. =)
I know you guys arent trying to sugar coat anything but nonetheless thats put a big grin on my face thanks for taking the time to reply multiple times brodie and thanks for letting me know that kitty i actually feel a bit lighter knowing it can work over five times the distance haha god i love EC
I could not say it won't work though I haven't been a relationship like that but I do believe if both wanted to work it out together then maybe long distance relationship would work despite the distance and physical interaction.
My best friend and her fiancé made it work 600 miles away from each other for like 3 years. It depends on the people, really. The one thing I noticed that they always did was prioritize their time to talk or FaceTime for a bit every day. If you're always putting it off in favor of other things, you'll both start to really feel the distance.
I'm surprised that I am in the minority here, alot of you seem to make long distance work then ... If I was in a relationship with someone there is no way that I could go several weeks without seeing them but it seems like alot of you on here can so cool, all the power to you lot! If I met them online then initially I wouldn't mind but after awhile I would want to see them alot more.
But the difference is it is seeing eachother intermittently for 7 weeks but then spending a whole two weeks together over the holidays yano? so it wont be permanent
If you have a steady plan of going to visit the other person, then I think that it could work, with all of today's technology like Skype and Facebook. Had you asked this question 20 years ago, I would have said that it's impossible.
If you guys are only a couple hours apart you can definetly make it work. As far as being able to cope when you're away, you can text, Skype, send gifts, etc. I'm in a long distance relationship now and we are not even in the same time zone, so to have that would be great. I'm sure you'll be able to make it work if you both communicate and want to stay together
