Lesbian friend likes me? Ok so I need help long story sorry I have this lesbian friend Carmen who likes me and has been very vocal about it.? I'm straight she has had plenty of girlfriends and I have a long term boyfriend who doesn't mind the crush at all, well its all been a big joke really until one night I asked her if she wanted to spend the night with me we were about to go to sleep I said I was going to take a bath she said she was going to get in too (I didn't think she meant get in with me), well yes she got in with me, I have a huge Jacuzzi tub so it wasn't like we were touching and what not we had seen each other naked plenty of times so I guess she thought this was okay It wasn't but that's not the end of it weeks later I threw a party everything was fun until they got on the topic of gay marriage and Carmen started bad mouthing people who were against it, I made the mistake of saying I don't entirely disagree with them (I'm not a homophobe), I tried to explain that in my religion homosexuality is a sin and therefor wrong, but Jesus died on the cross for sins, because sinning is inevitable and we all do it which therefor makes it not wrong, but she wouldn't let me talk, and it turned into this big argument where she left my condo mad and in tears the next day she said how would you feel if the one person you cared about most agreed with the people who say that your whole lifestyle is wrong, first of all I didn't know I was that important, second of all she's being overly sensitive I didn't mean to hurt her but I don't have anything to apologize for plus, I don't know if I want to talk to her at all at first the crush was flattering but now its not what should I do?
While she may have a crush on you, I don't think this is the main issue here. As I am sure many people would argue here that another person's religion shouldn't mean that that person can't get married to the person that they love. It can be very frustrating for LGBT people to hear this, especially from somebody that they trust and feel close to. In a social setting, it can be even more common that she would get defensive, because she may feel like she's being ganged up on. Whether or not she has a crush on you would have nothing to do with it. She's not being oversensitive, she's likely just frustrated . And even if she is whatever religion it is that says that homosexuality is a sin, LGBT people do not choose to be homosexual. It is not a lifestyle choice. Your friend may be struggling with this as well if she is the same religion, because it directly conflicts what she is feeling. Ultimately this is not about you or her feelings about you, it is about her and her feelings about herself.
I see why she's upset, I'd be too. She can't change her sexual orientation and she can't change the fact that she wants to marry a girl. To be honest, I don't think she's being overly sensitive; what if someone you were close to told you that they think the way you were born and the way you live your life is wrong? On the other hand, I understand your views. I was born into a Christian family, and even though I don't see myself as a Christian, I know a lot about the religion and its teachings. First of all, in the Christian faith, homosexuality is not a sin. God calls us to be loving, inclusive and accepting of everyone, including homosexuals. Also, another thing, Jesus dying on the cross does not make sinning 'okay', but I'm not going to get into that. Its okay if you don't agree with the way she lives her life, but you shouldn't criticize her for it either. You're allowed to disagree with her, but at the same time you should be respectful and accepting of her views and opinions. Personally, I do think you have something to apologise for. You should explain to her that you didn't mean to offend her.
Whew. I was hoping someone else what point out that homosexuality isn't a sin in Christianity. I've gotten myself into several debates on that one.
It clearly says in the bible that its a sin but regardless I didn't mean it in a bad necessarily, everyone sins, I never said it was wrong I just meant I didn't completely dis agree with the nae sayers
The Bible also very clearly says that wearing gold, getting tattoos and getting divorced are all sins. If you are going to say that being gay is a sin and you are going to use the logic of "because the Bible says it," you had better believe those three that I mentioned also, if you're going to use that kind of logic. I would strongly misadvise coming to an LGBT board and saying that being gay is a sin. I suggest you do not bring that one up. It is simply not true. Second, I would be upset too. Forget the fact that she has a crush on you. Regardless of that, whenever someone that you love says that they believe being gay is wrong, it hurts. My grandma says things like that all the time and I am hurt by it. So the fact that she is hurt has nothing to do with whether or not she has feelings for you. You are her friend and that is why it hurt her. Imagine the roles were reversed. Imagine if we lived in a world where being gay was the norm, and everyone who was gay believed that being straight was a sin. How would that feel? Okay, now imagine this. Imagine that this girl were to tell you that you being in love with your boyfriend and the love you have for each other is wrong? Feels crappy, doesn't it? She's not overreacting. Part of being friends with someone who is gay is being kind to them regardless of what you believe. No one can change your beliefs except you, and if you truly believe being gay is a sin, do not say that around her or make her feel like crap. Friends are supposed to build each other up and that is not what you are doing right now.
yes ---------- Post added 5th Aug 2014 at 05:16 PM ---------- I know many things are sins I know I sin everyone sins that was the point I was making which was it isn't wrong because no one can avoid it and, that's why I think she's over reacting I was simply stating my opinion and she didn't give me a chance to explain before she left, I wasn't trying to make her feel like crap as you put it IsThisAName and as far as the crush I need advice on a delicately way to get rid of it without hurting her feelings once again unintentionally
Yeah, I agree with IsThisAName, your friend's not overreacting or being oversensitive. I never chose to be gay, and believe me when I say, it hurts like hell to hear people say that homosexuality is a choice or a sin. And honestly, if one of my friends told me that being gay was a sin, I don't think I'd be able to be friends with them anymore. I can't change your views, but I will tell you that your views are harmful and hurtful to a lot of people out there, and I would highly recommend researching the subject of homosexuality and considering a different point of view.
I agree with this. If you still want to be her friend, apologise to her. Tell her you didn't mean to hurt her feelings. As her friend, you should respect her and care about her no matter what. Friendship is also being respectful and accepting of each other's views. So let her know you're sorry and that you still want to be friends. Try to be more accepting of the way she is. I agree with everyone else too - try to see the situation from her perspective and understand why she feels the way she does. As for the crush she has on you, there's not much you can do about that. But don't worry, It'll probably fade eventually.
This whole concept of sin is to me something to keep people down. The bible was altered through the Council of Nicea in ca. 300 a.C. Someone said there are at least 18 heresies (untruths) in the bible but he wont say which. There is a story which did not make it to the bible of Jesus talking to a homosexual couple. He did not bat an eye. (can all be looked up, thanks to the internet) Time for a concept of love.
