I feel like that most of the time, since I'm not out to anyone yet. I discovered this site a couple of days ago, so eventually I decided to give it a try. I just wanted to talk with somebody who could understand me. I always keep that secret with me and sometimes I even forget it. A couple of months ago my friends said to me 'You're so lucky, your life is perfect: first student, your parents' pupil and you eat like a pig without gaining weight'. I laughed, but I also felt something other inside me. At the time I didn't realise what it was. Only later it occured to me that I was unhappy. You know, it's not difficult for me to hide it, it's just that sometimes I get so tired and feel so lonely that I can't handle all the pressure. I see everybody around me getting their chances to be happy and at the same time I realise I can't, because I have to wear a mask. There's a guy, in my class, who's sort of effeminate. My friends make fun of him and I cannot help thinking about the irony of it 'Look at you, here with your friends, doing what they expect you to do. Little they know is that you're gay too, how funny huh?'. What would they think about me if they knew? I don't know. The best way for me has always been not to think about who I am and focus on school, sports or other interests. I succeed and I live my life acting with a mask. Yes, I want to love and be happy, but all I can do is being afraid of the future. I find myself alone in my room and... scared of loneliness. Then the fear goes away, it always does, and my life goes on. What are your experiences? Do you ever feel lonely and scared of the future, of being lonely?
I can say that I'm feeling lonely sometimes too but looking from a different perspective I can say I have everything I should have, family, friends and everything's great so there are some similarities compared to what you've said. There's one guy in my class similar as you described this guy but he's teased by people who are outside of my class, we're all good with him, I mean he's a great guy and don't have any problems inside our class. Is that guy gay or just effeminate?
i think keeping a mask on all the time would be quite uncomfortable.... and sweaty but yeah, i know how it feels. You should find some friend you can trust, it'll make you feel better Also, keep working hard! You're doing the right thing. Work hard, make a good life for yourself. Try to move to a place where you won't be discriminated. You luckily don't even have to go far. Try France, Germany, Netherlands And you will then find someone and you will be happy
Honestly, some times I do. My friends and family wonder why I act so miserable all the time and that's honestly the reason why. I can't live however I want without having some heartache, drama, and stuff. It's quite sad, actually.
I've been wearing a mask pretty much all of my life. While it has been for sexuality/gender identity, it has also been for other things. Wearing a mask is tiring, and I have been taking it off bit by bit, by coming out to a select few about my gender/sexuality and some of those other things. Coming out, even though I am not fully out, giving me some much needed peace of mind and finally, some happiness. Take your time when finding someone that you trust to talk to.
Yea I do wear a mask. Sometimes, often, some days, always, never. Depends. I hide my emotions, my thoughts, my needs sometimes. But also in regard to sexuality. I'm not out to all people so I have to act sometimes as if I were "normal". Well, I choose it so I have to live with it.
No.. but sometimes i wished i was invisible when i wasnt as well adjusted to the world.. I had alcoholic parents.. God that was horrible.. Ive changed alot and much for the better.
I do feel lonely sometimes. I'm also frequently anxious and unhappy. I don't wear a mask though. If someone were to ask me about my orientation (other than my family) I would tell them. I do wear fingerless gloves and a bright purple hat though. They make me feel special. I should note that I am well aware that you are not actually referring to a physical mask.
