Awkward convos with relatives when they don't know ur gay.

Most of my extended family is pretty accepting of QUILTBAG people. Luckily the more conservative/homophobic members of my extended family don't talk to me because of my philosophical and political positions.

So there isn't really much awkwardness for me. I'm pretty sure most of them know anyway.

 

Well before I was out to my dad, I was out to my mom. I remember something like America's Got Talent was on the TV and this gay dance duo was performing. They weren't very good, but they were alright I guess.

My dad commented on how people only liked them because they were gay or something like that. There was fire in my eyes and my mom saw it. It was awkward because I wanted to scream out, "Well you know what dad, I'm gay too!!" but I didn't.

It's like when someone tells someone else a yo momma joke and they're like, "My mom is dead." Now THAT'S awkward.

 

My mother effectively did. (ask me if I was gay) I told her the truth, and she was fine with it, as I knew she would be. My grandma asked me if I had a crush on a boy, I said no, and she replied with "Well, I'm sure you will someday!" I wanted to say, "No, I doubt it. I'm gay. I like women." but I didn't. All of my grandparents are always saying things like "You're such a pretty girl" and "Your hair looks so cute", you know, all that stuff grandparents have to say. I am very genderqueer, and sometimes male, and I don't particularly enjoy being described as cute. However, my family (except for my dad) is somewhat undereducated on the subject of gender identity; my mother doesn't really believe there are more than two genders even though I attempted to explain otherwise, and I think explaining my gender fluidity/queerness would be hard on my grandparents, especially since at least one of them (and probably more) have very specific ideas of how a woman should look and behave. Don't get me wrong, they're wonderful, accepting people, just a bit old-fashioned. Wow. I didn't mean for that to turn into a long rant. Sorry.

 

Regarding my gender, there have been a lot of awkward lines; not really with the sexuality, though. I get the "You're so cute," from my friend all the time (even though I'm out to her) or "You're so beautiful," from parents and relatives, which makes me blush. They take it like I'm flattered, when really I feel super awkward being called that. Whenever I get called a girl or by female pronouns I feel awkward and want to curl up. I guess it's not as awkward as your situation because your mom kinda knows and hints to it, but I still feel pretty weird. Oh, and there's the classic "But... You're a girl!" line. I just want to say at that point, "Ehehe... You see, I'm not really..." but I don't.

 

Most of my family knew I was gay a while back. However, we had a visit a few month ago from family I hadn't seen probably since I was about 10. Anyway they were asking all the regular questions about my life before getting to the topic of... Girls. So they said,"so you're in a relationship right? "so I said" yes" waiting for the next question which was "what does she do, where is she from, what does she look like do you have a picture?" so I instantly replied, "she's a he" at which point the conversation went dead. It was highly amusing for me I must admit.

 

I absolutely hate being asked these types questions by practically anyone. I never know what to say. Before I knew that I was trans, I spent parts of my life sometimes wondering/thinking that I was gay due to my leanings towards the fairer sex. I've gotten asked by mainly maternal family members (I am pretty certain that they think I am gay). As a result, I haven't gone out of my way to communicate with the majority of them. I'm dreading having to deal with this when I re-get to know my fraternal family. I know that this is something I will get asked in their desire to get to know more about me. *sigh* I've also gotten this with friends/acquaintances.

Usually the typical questions are things like: "So, do you have a boyfriend yet?", "He likes you. Why don't you like him back?!", "Have you ever had a boyfriend?", "Have you ever been interested in dating", "Why don't you think he is attractive? What's your type?", (etc.)

Me: (internally panicking) "No."

Them: (Deeply alarmed, they get on the defensive) *gasp* "AHH! OH MY GOD! WHY NOT?! What's wrong?!"

Me: (Really panicking and trying not to let it show) *makes some sort of excuse* "I'm too busy. I have no time to date." (etc.)

I've gotten remarks that I have the time but I don't make the time to do this. I've even gotten matchmaking offers… -_-

I hope that some of them genuinely do mean well, but I wish they would be more considerate and mind their fucking business.

 

I bet everyone had this classic at some point: someone who doesn't know speaking about your future and saying wife/husband. Gets even more awkward when some people in the room know and some don't.

 

Considering how half of my family comes from a small town that basically shields out any outside influence, I find conversations like these to be quite awkward at times. I just say "no, I don't have a girlfriend because I don't have the means to have one right now", which is true and not lying at all.