I think I don't want kids but ,i'm not sure but when i see little babies ,I can't help but think their cute yet , I think what would it be like if I had a wife and a baby then I picture us pushing it in a stroller.I think to myself what the hell is wrong with me . I know I don't want kids yet I can't help but wonder or even fantasize ,if I have a wife and a baby and we both take care of it and buy baby stuff and toys for our baby .
answer this with the first thing that comes to mind... Are you more afraid of how you will screw the kid's life up, or how the kid will screw your life up?
I wonder the same thing sometimes... At the moment, I struggle just to take care of my own damn self. Kids are like, a decade or more into the future. HOWEVER! I do enjoy the thought about raising a child. I'd love to have a son in which I could foster a love of mechanical things just like I posses. I'd also love having a daughter that wanted a pink room filled with princess dresses and stuffed animals. The idea still scares me. Perhaps IF I am married and stable, I'll reconsider children.
Well, wait until the time that you are ready, and if that time doesn't come, it wasn't meant to be. Personally I want to have a child, one daughter, I already have a list of names I would like. She will be adopted, regardless of whether my partner and I can have biological children.
Mentally, I don't think I could go through a pregnancy so that's out of the question...however, adoption sounds pretty good. Maybe like two or three kids... It would be a dream to be called 'Daddy'. I'd probably be the Dad that would document every big moment in their lives and constantly be taking pictures. "Oh, little Aster's first tooth. Get my camera!"
Your feelings may change with time or experience. Maybe now you don't want kids because you aren't ready for them but in the future you will. Or maybe you won't, but will still enjoy seeing relatives' or friends' kids. When I was younger I didn't want kids, but the older I get the more it seems like a possibility. I'm still not totally sure one way or the other, but when I spend time out with my friend and her baby I really enjoy the feeling of "motherhood" in my mind (though really I'm his "auntie" haha). I love to see him and play with him. I was never really into babies before, but getting to know one and watch him grow has kind of changed that. At the same time motherhood is a huge responsibility, and changes your life forever. It's a big decision to make and not one you have to make now.
Once you meet the woman of your dreams, she may end up changing your mind about motherhood. I've always had a really big family, so I have always wanted kids of my own and while it is challenging, it is also very rewarding. I'm actually on baby number four (boy number four) and call me crazy, but I am open to the idea of having at least one more in the future.
Your right I should wait if it happens it happens . ---------- Post added 9th Aug 2014 at 10:32 AM ---------- I'll adopt if I can get a new born baby ---------- Post added 9th Aug 2014 at 10:33 AM ---------- I'm still confused on what I want , your right I don't have to decide now . ---------- Post added 9th Aug 2014 at 10:34 AM ---------- I think she could change my mind , I just worry that I might not be a good parent , that's the one thing that scares me that and child birth . Your not crazy for wanting another kid ,shows you really love kids.
Why does it matter? You'd be a great mother with your wife, probably even more so than deadbeat straight married couples, right? All your children would need are two loving parents, regardless of what they are.
If I adopted a kid, he'd have to be an older one. That said, I can see 20 years later, "Dads, can you guys watch the baby for a weekend?" "Hell no. There's a reason we adopted you when you were 8 years old!"
Everyone here is totally right on. Your feelings could change and you could be a great parent. It's a lot of work, but there's no reason why you should expect to be just like your mother. You just have to try to do right by your child in ways that she couldn't do for you. But the thing I'd like to add is this: You also don't have to have kids. Ever. No matter what anyone says. No matter what anyone thinks about your decision. You don't have to. And if your feelings about being a parent never change, that's really okay. There is plenty of life to live without having children and despite what some people might think, it's not any less of of a fulfilled life than people who do have children--it's just a different path. The choice is yours, but you have plenty of time to make it.
I suggest thinking about how you would deal with a child when they're not being particularly cute, say a toddler throwing a tantrum or a difficult teenager. How would you react, and do you think your actions would be best for your child? I usually have a sub-zero interest in babies and kids, but every once in a while I'll have the same fantasy that if I had a wife we could raise a child together. Then I come back to reality and realize it's not what I really want. I think it's just cultural norms of what you need for a "complete" life seeping into my fantasy life. Maybe it's more than that for you, but only you can know if it is or not.
I don't want to be like my mother either, but I don't think that's going to happen for either of us. We're both better than that, we know what it's like.
