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Do you tend to be direct or indirect?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AlamoCity, Aug 11, 2014.

  1. AlamoCity

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    In general, do you tend to be direct or indirect? Does it change when you're criticizing or talking about a delicate subject?


    ______


    I think I tend to be indirect and can actually be "put off" by people who are a bit too direct and/or lack tact, especially strangers.

    Also, I to beat around the bush when dealing with people and avoid being blunt. If, after a few tries they still don't get it, I'll be a little more direct. I guess I like to give people the chance to save face. I like it when people can "take a hint."

    It's kind of funny but another example of this is how the whole "borrowing sugar" happens. When a neighbor comes to ask to borrow some sugar or whatnot, they will usually come and ask how we are, talk about our lives, their lives, current events, etc., and then as they're leaving, ask to borrow sugar :roflmao:. It's actually funny once you think about it, but it's also how I was raised. Maybe it's just my neighborhood :lol:.

    I understand how "direct" conversations are necessary for both clarity and time constraints, but how are you in general? Do you prefer to be indirect or direct?
     
  2. Candace

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    You know me, I am direct! I hate sugarcoating things and trying to be nice and passive and stuff....ugh, that's just not me. :lol:
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    I prefer to reserve the direct approach for when it's really necessary.

    If you are direct at all times people will come to regard it as your normal manner and it will lose impact. You'll just get a reputation for being brusque.
     
  4. Nikky DoUrden

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    This!

    And adding that some times its good to be direct and some times it isn't so I try my best logical approach to a given situation. (where is a nerdy smiley when i need it)
     
  5. Hexagon

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    It depends what would best fit the situation. There's no best way for everything.
     
  6. Budweiser

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    I try to avoid being passive aggressive at all costs. I don't think playing games with people is commendable in the least, and they will respect you a whole lot more for just being honest with them.

    That isn't to say you just spew out whatever your crazy mind is thinking, tact is a necessary thing when being direct with someone.
     
  7. Foxface

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    I spent 20 years of my teenage and adult life being SUPER indirect and it never got me anywhere

    those days ended some time ago
     
  8. Aussie792

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    Indirectness and polite civility aren't necessarily related. You can be an absolute bore who leads nowhere in an attempt to be polite, and you can be charming while also refusing to sugar-coat.

    I try to be direct. Some hints are lost on people, and metaphors are clumsier in real life than they are in literature. It's best to stay direct if you want your meaning to be interpreted as you intended it.
     
  9. Alder

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    I really try to be direct because I think I'm far too passive and I beat around the bush too much sometimes (bad habit) :rolle:

    I'm more indirect, like I don't like to say things that aren't true, but I'll try to work my way around slowly, which sometimes is beneficial and other times isn't quite so great.

    But working on being more direct and not being afraid to say what I really mean :slight_smile:
     
  10. HM03

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    I'm mostly direct. I just don't "get" indirect comments etc.:lol:
     
  11. Emulator

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    Very indirect...until nobody gets what I'm saying :lol:
     
  12. ahardlife

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    direct enough to get to the point but not make it personal.
     
  13. That one guy

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    Indirect, I tend to take the longest path to tell someone I don't like something, I'm just to timid :confused:
     
  14. Opheliac

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    I'm generally indirect unless the subject is something I feel very strongly about.
     
  15. Yosia

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    Im usually very direct.
     
  16. imnotreallysure

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    It depends on the situation. I'll be direct if someone is annoying me, or I think they're being rude, but I tend to beat around the bush if I'm asking to borrow something.

    Most people here in my experience are rather indirect and very passive aggressive. I think it's a cultural trait similar to the Japanese idea of saving face.

    This is what I'm talking about: http://i.imgur.com/eyJNd.png

    Exaggerated, but with a hint of truth. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #16 imnotreallysure, Aug 11, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2014
  17. nomdeplume

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    I am very direct, but I bring it gently to offset my bluntness. I am also completely oblivious to hints; if you want something from me it's usually better to say it straight out, otherwise you'll be there forever. :icon_bigg
     
  18. asdfghjk

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    It depends but I basically try not to be an offensive asshole because I have has bosses and friends like that and they are the worst
     
  19. MindvsHeart

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    Really depends on a variety of factors such as; on what level our relationship is at, your ability to accept criticism/sarcasm, how well you know me, and etc.

    At first meeting, I'm very...indirect but I am all that I seem. I don't try to hide that I am cheerful, always smiling or laughing and I will do my utmost best to get to know you.

    Once we become good friends over time, you are then introduced to my more darker side. I can be ruthless in my sarcastic remarks when I want to be and a bit careless but I will always revert back to the person you first met. But boy, can I swear like a sailor. ^_^ I can debate with you when I am passionate about something, I will ramble on and on about Lord of the Rings and I will enjoy talking about inane things because...who doesn't?

    Then when we get to a certain point where you are almost like family, I tend to get very affectionate (or at least more affectionate than I already was e.g. hug you randomly or just poke you out of nowhere). But still rather ruthless and I will not be afraid to express myself in front of you and won't really care what I look like- lol my beard-like days when I don't give a shit.
    -A prime example of said sarcasm just happened ten minutes ago,
    My sister had just made my mom a cup of hot tea and my mom was complimenting her loudly as I walked past her to get to the kitchen.

    Mom: Oh, this tea is so good, Eve (my sister's name). What did you put in it to make it taste so good?

    Me: Spit.

    Mom: You're mean.

    Me: I love you, too. *laughs evilly as I take a plate of biscuits & tea to my lair*
     
    #19 MindvsHeart, Aug 12, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2014
  20. Kaiser

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    Like others have said, it depends. I also think Linco has the right idea.

    If it's something that needs to be done, immediately, then I'm direct. But if it isn't too serious, I might be indirect. Sometimes, I like to see how people handle conversation, because it gives me a better idea, of how they are, than by going by what they say.

    I've been said to possess a parental charm. Basically, I'm the cool parent, who will tell you to do your homework, but I'm not going to fight you about it. You get a bad grade, that's all on you, son. I'll be honest, even suggest something, but it is ultimately up to the other party/parties to apply what has been said.

    I have learned, in my experiences, you can earn the respect of others for being direct to others, but you can earn their spite for being direct to them. If you are indirect, you can earn the favor of others, but you can also lose your effectiveness as a result. It's much like a worn out object, yes, it can smash and break, but you're going to have to put more work into it, to get the desired result, if it wasn't.

    Also, there are times and places for either. If someone has experienced, say, a death in the family, you have to tackle that delicately. If someone has gone through, say, a rough break up, you have to tackle that sensitively. You can be direct, but you can't be piercing about it; you can be indirect, but you have to be probing with it, which can wind up backfiring. It's all about common sense, a little bit of wit, and a lot of understanding.