I think that it's your choice, and yours alone whether or not you come out. Others don't have a right to the knowledge of your sexuality, so withholding that information isn't immoral.
They key here is, do you lie because you believe/feel you need to, or do you lie because you can't control it? That posed, I agree with Hexagon. As usual, they totally nailed it.
Not really, if someone calls me gay as a joke or asks I will either tell them (if I trust them with a secret) or I will just avoid answering it.
It is a personal thing, I don't think it's for everybody to know, it's your choice for who you want to tell it.. But personally, I do not feel like a pathological liar, being in the closet for me feels like, I'm using this heterosexual privilege.. I mean acting straight ust to avoiding discrimination, I feel bad for it. That's why I close to making decision to come out and face those problems.
No. One can be in the closet as one can avoid disclosing information using answers to questions that involves one's sexual orientation on the line of "None of your business".
Yes. I have lied a lot more since I came out to my three best friends. I wish I could tell my parents. But alas, I cannot.
I think I've lied to myself far more than I've lied to others. I don't think I'd consider it lying if what I have said previously was what I believed to be the truth. I do feel a bit like I'm lying by omission, now that I understand myself a bit better. Whenever a friend makes a comment about a hot guy, or makes a joke about attractive females (watching Game of Thrones, a common one was "Here you go, boys, there's nudity in this one just for you!") I squirm a little. At the same time I know I don't have to disclose everything and anything I am thinking, however, and assume others do not do so, either. It's my choice who has entry into my private thoughts.
My mom asked me that same question about a week ago. I don't think it's a "bad lie" per se. I'm protecting my self and it's my choice as to who knows about my sexuality. Does that mean someone has to know my bank account number when they ask about it, or other personal stuff? It's privy to whomever I choose.
The difference between lying about stealing something and being in the closet is that one is for immediate safety in many cases, while the other is a crime, in every case.
Perhaps "pathological liar" is a tad too strong. One definite property of living one's life in the closet is that you are not living with integrity. And after being in it for a long while, you tend to lose your sense of self.
I agree. I've definitely lost a chunk of myself, and a rather HUGE part of my life. I've starved myself of happiness, and openness. I haven't been able to connect with people and have fun in university. Hopefully that will all change now that I'm out to myself. This is my last year in college, so I want to make it count!
Make sure you do! I regret the fact that I can't re-live my time at university as an openly gay man, but I'm sure the future will be even better an imagined past.
Absolutely not. The society we live in is what forces us into the closet in the first place, it's society and the norms and all of that that are lying...because those things aren't real. We are real. And it takes immense courage and bravery to make yourself vulnerable enough to come out of the closet. If you are lying about it just check your motive for why, but I bet it's because in the world we live in we are still being oppressed for being who we are...
The feeling like I am manipulating people's impression of me to control it is almost reflexive and does make me feel like a liar. Not a pathological one because I know I am doing it, and not for fun, profit or to harm others. Just that I am locked into a pattern that leaves me uncertain how I'd really like to behave instead of in these artificial ways... It used to be worse still... Being normal, feeling normal are things that are or are not happening. You can't force them.
