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Being that pillar of support when everyone else has given up

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Ruby Dragon, Aug 12, 2014.

  1. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    I have this years long friend who I share almost everything with, and he does the same. We haven't seen each other in person for about 6 years now, but we keep in regular contact. I told him that I am bipolar as soon as I was officially diagnosed. He was also recently diagnosed as bipolar, and coincidentally we're on the same anti-depressants. So we can talk to each other about feelings/emotions and we'd understand what the other is going through more so than "regular" people (People who aren't bipolar).

    As with any medication, it's not wise to consume alcohol. I have the occasional drink or two but that's as much as I drink, so it doesn't have any ill effects on me, as far as I can tell. Well, this friend of mine has become almost like an alcoholic. He'd go out drinking very often, even on weekdays. He's told his friends and family so many times that he's going to quit drinking but then he keeps relapsing. Now they've all reached a point where they no longer care. I'm the only one who keeps supporting him, and to be honest, I'm also getting tired of hearing for days on end how sick he's feeling from the alcohol. It takes about 2-3 days for the alcohol to leave his system, and for him to get out of his depression. It pisses me off because he KNOWS how alcohol makes him feel yet he keeps drinking.

    He's taken a few days off work so he can go to a rehab centre/mental hospital. I'm not sure if a couple of days will be enough to break the habit. I told him to make new friends, friends who will support him in his efforts to quit drinking, because he said that the friends he has now are a bad influence since they allow him to drink too much and too often.

    He has a doctor's (psychiatrist) appointment today, so let's hope the doctor will be able to help him with this problem too. He needs to tell his doc about his drinking habits, because it affects his mental state, and renders the medication useless. At least he's taking the first steps on the road to recovery/rehabilitation. I just hope it lasts because I don't like "seeing" him like this.

    His drinking has become so bad that he went to work drunk last Friday! It's like he doesn't realize what impact it would have on his job, or that he could get fired for working drunk. Alcohol has taken over his life completely and it saddens me. How am I able to stop drinking after 2 drinks, but he just keeps drinking until he's motherlessly drunk? Do I just have better self control? I really hope the time he plans on spending in rehab would be sufficient in getting him over this habit of his.

    In the meantime, I have to support him because nobody else will, and he needs support right now, so I'll try not to give up on him too but then he has to prove that he's serious about sobering up. It's taking its toll on me too because I have my own problems to worry about, I really don't need more worries in my life

    So... Do I just continue the way I am now, or is there more I could do to help him? I really don't want to give up on him, even if I'm the only one left. What more can I do to show my support? :icon_sad:
     
  2. Abi

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    Theres not much more that you could be doing, your doing way more than most people. You sound like a once-in-a-lifetime-friend that people wish for <3 keep on being a good friend
     
  3. Kai LD

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    This is a really hard situation to be in, and I had to leave the similar one I had for my own safety. This person doesn't sound scary though. You are being a good person and a great friend, and keep being that for as long as you can do it without compromising yourself. :eusa_clap
     
  4. Candace

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    You're being a great friend! :grin: But at the same time, you have to take of yourself first. Does he have any family that might be able to intervene? :/
     
  5. White Knight

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    You are an amazing friend.

    Hope he can realise why he is drinking that much and change his life before it is too late. Giving up an addiction is a hard process but with support and determination any one can do it.
     
  6. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the compliments you guys :icon_redf

    As for the family: I don't think they want to hear about it anymore, because of the fact that he keeps saying he's going to stop drinking, but then just goes out and gets drunk again. That's also why I feel like my support is important. So that he can feel like someone at least cares about his wellbeing. I still wish there was something more I could do to help him. For now I guess a listening ear and some advice is the best I can give.

    Wouldn't it be great if I could turn into a guardian angel, who follows him everywhere, and who can smack him upside the head whenever he thinks about drinking :lol:

    But unfortunately this is something he has to do on his own. He has to make the conscious decision to stop drinking and stick to it. And I'll be the safety net for when he falls.