This thought crossed my mind when I was at marching band practice the other day. FYI, I'm kinda just typing now to share my thoughts Our former drum major came to practice just to check up on us I guess and just help out. Now, ever since two years ago when I first meant this person, I and many others in band have always suspected that he might be gay. I am by know means an expert in the use of my gaydar (in fact I think I probably left it behind in my mother's womb before I came to be) but he just pings on many people's gaydars. I'm certainly not here to speculate about one's sexuality but I present this example anyway with the hope that it might stimulate a recollection of an experience you've had with the homophobic gay who hasn't came out to himself yet. Continuing with the story. According to one of my gay friends, who could very well be wrong I suppose, this former drum major was toxiclly homophobic. At one point, a bisexual kid who apparently was great friends with this drum major came out to him in hopes that his friend would be accepting. Instead, this poor kid was told that he was going to hell and that they shouldn't be friends any more. In band, with have this other guy who likes to express himself often for attention or just the simple sake of doing something different. A few days ago, he quite humorously came to practice wearing short shorts (I didn't much mind it at all. I wish I felt confident enough to wear short shorts if I wanted to). Around were I live, its not really every day, ever in fact, that you see a guy a wearing short shorts. Many of the other guys found it pretty funny as well and they all had a good laugh, some whistled with joking approval. We're a pretty accepting group of people :icon_bigg So, upon our short shorts guy seeing that our forming drum major was here, this guy went up to him to give him a big hug hello. As I observed this go down, the former drum major appeared to almost be slightly repulsed or scared maybe of this guy in short shorts giving him such a close and bonding hug. It was then that I put myself in the former drum major's shoes in hopes of understanding this apparent disgust, fear or disapproval. If I were one who had strong religous beliefs or some other strong reason for disliking gay people or the idea of being gay and I deep down knew that I myself was gay despite these wildly polarizing feelings, how would I feel about myself, other gays and the same sex people to whom I'm attracted? It seems to me that I might have a very similar response to someone who I am noticabely attracted to. Knowing that I hold at my core this belief that being gay is bad, I would automatically attempt to distance myself from same sex people whom I'm attracted to, others whom I suspect are gay and those who defy traditional gender roles (i.e. only girls can wear short shorts). It seems to me that while the idea that many homophobes are in fact gay deep down is often thrown around to belittle the negative statements homophobes can make, the idea itself might actually have some truth to it. I suppose I'm just wondering what your guys' opinions are on the matter and if you've ever meant the gay homophobe.
My family thinks they're all over the right-wing politics, and I'm inclined to agree with them. Homosexuals who are in the closet and using homophobia as a barricade.
I kind of, before the age of ten or eleven, was a homophobe. I eventually stopped being a dick but the idea always bothered me but I had sufficently repressed it by that point that I never let myself be consciously aware of the reasons for my discomfort. I was terrified of being known, known, as different, even if at the time it had more to do with my sublimated discomfort with my gender identity. So I think you are on to something there!
I was never a homophobe at all, but I did actually bully people for a short time, just because I wanted to vent out some frustration. I think like the cliché goes, these people want acceptance in their social circles and will do anything to get it, even if it means ruining the reputations of others that already have had that acceptance. Even if it means being malicious and maiming others. People really are that desperate to not be found out and to be accepted.
Here's a SHORT list of prominent homophobes who ended up being gay themselves (hilarious denials in parentheses): Ed Schrock David Drier James E. West Mark Foley Ted Haggard (Just buying meth from gay hookers) Larry Craig (had a 'wide stance' in a bathroom stall) Bob Allen (was forced into paying $20 for fellatio) Richard Curtis (Filed for extortion) Glenn Murphy Jr. Mark Buse Roy Ashburn George Rekers (was "lifting luggage") Ken Mehlman Rev. Eddie Long Albert Odulele Philip Hinkle Robert Arango (documenting weight loss) Rev. Markku Koivisto Ian Dempsey John Smid Mayor Greg Davis (not a confession, but used city funds to buy toys from a gay sex shop) Michael Berry Paul Bebeu Kathryn Lehman Jeremy Marks Zack Wyatt Ryan J. Muehlhauser Cardinal Keith O'Brien John Paulk Alan Chambers Javier Suárez Pascagaza Frazier Glenn Cross And that's a SHORT list.
I think it's very sad, honestly. Whether they're aware of their sexuality or not, their environment influences them to put on a facade, which might involve hurting those who would in other circumstances be friends, mentors, or even lovers, just to please everyone else. One of my brothers hugged a boy out of affection in kindergarten, who responded by shoving him away promptly. Not much later, he came out as gay - as in, stereotypically gay: hanging out with girls, painting nails, talking about boys. At one time I would have said they could all go to hell, without hesitation, but looking back, I pity them more than anything else, and sincerely hope they find peace with themselves. For our sake as much as theirs.
i kinda felt sorry for Ted Haggard after seeing his documentary The Trials of Ted Haggard Part 1 - YouTube its a pretty good incite in what they were thinking.
