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Do you believe you should be best friends as well as partners?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Yosia, Aug 14, 2014.

  1. Yosia

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    I believe that for a successful relationship, both partners should also be really good friends because there will be a stronger bond there. What do you guys think?
     
  2. MassiveExtract

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    By nature we'll be best friends, but in a partner sense of the way. My mom's also my best friend and I have plenty of best FRIENDS. It's a different kind of relationship.
     
  3. the haunted

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  4. Tai

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    Definitely. I wouldn't call it a very good relationship if friendship wasn't involved.
     
  5. Ada M7

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    I don't consider my GF my best friend. I never understood that sentiment personally. My best friend is something I can tell everything. I can't tell her everything, that is just weird.
     
  6. Candace

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    For me, yes and no. I feel like I should be completely honest, as well as making love :wink:, to my bf. However at the same time, I don't feel that I need him to provide all of that for me. Nor can one single person on this planet. For this reason, I always that I have a couple of best friends and not just "one best friend". I need my straight guy friends too along with my bf. If I couldn't have them and just my bf, I would go insane.
     
  7. Definitely. Being close and knowing each other well help to build a relationship. Communication and understanding are developed by a friendship.
     
  8. BornAnew

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    Yeah on some level they should be one of your best friends.

    But you also need another best friend who you can talk about the relationship & other life issues openly with. It's very important to have someone on the outside who is a best friend too.
     
  9. stocking

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    I don't believe in this at all, if you try to be friends with someone you're attracted to , your more likely to end up in the friend zone. I don't like being friends with women I'm into , I have enough damn female friends; if I just wanted friendship I could date a guy. :dry:
     
  10. Jenna0780

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    I would think so. I don't consider someone to be of romantically interest unless I consider them a friend first and foremost. You can be in a relationship all you want, but what keeps it going is the friendship-love that you share with that person. Romance may come and go without warning, it doesn't ask to be excused. But loving someone as a friend is what makes one able to stay with someone as they grow and change.
     
  11. Kaiser

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    I'd say, yes.

    I find the whole Friend Zone-thing, silly, because it is perceived as a terrible punishment. Just like I find the idea, you can't be friends with your partner, silly.

    Most friendships, at least the successful ones, tend to have these:

    • Respect
    • Understanding
    • Communication
    • Support

    I fail to see how, any of those, are terrible to incorporate into a relationship. I don't think anyone would say, they don't want such traits, it's just, they want them to develop later -- after the initial attraction stage. If it happens before, well, a conflict brews:


    " Oh shit! I'm beginning to really like this person, but I've already been liking their companionship!
    But, I don't want to risk losing that reality, for this possibility! "​


    It's all about timing:

    Too early, you're going to become a friend; a buddy, a pal.
    Too late, you're going to become an afterthought; a fantasy at best.
    Gradually, you're going to become desired, and more likely to partner up.

    For me, personally, I would prefer being able to consider my partner, my best friend. I want to be able to talk to them about anything, express anything, go out and be able to do anything. Of course, we'd have time to ourselves and whatnot, but the potential needs to be there. I want to always be doing these three things:

    Living: I want to live with them, to go through life, and see the wonders and ponder the mysteries. If I cannot do even this, there is very little point.

    Learning: I want to learn with them, to experience the ups, downs, the all around, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to grow together, so we stay together.

    Loving: I want to be able to love my partner. Not just for their good looks, their wit and charm, their intelligence or prowess. While nice, I want to be able to say, with the utmost confidence, "You see this person right here? They're the best God damn thing that has ever happened to me!"

    One could argue, that a partner is beyond a best friend. In this context, no, a partner is not suited to be a best friend. Because they will get to know you, on a deeper level, than even your own flesh and blood. This, alone, makes them unique from what most 'best friends' are.

    Typing this all out, makes me realize, I'm a sap. LOL!
     
  12. ahardlife

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    I feel it would be almost impossible to have a good relationship with someone without a strong friendship first. maybe not a best friend.
     
  13. Hexagon

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    As far as I'm concerned, this goes without saying.
     
  14. Lexington

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    To a degree, yes. But some people seem to take this to mean "you should do everything together, and have exactly the same interests and hobbies". My partner and I have pretty disparate interests, and often spend time apart engaging in them. For instance, he adores movies, and he often goes out to see films with his movie-fiend friends. During those times, I stay at home and play my music and read books, which is what I really like doing. If we weren't a couple, I'm guessing we wouldn't "hang out" as often because of that, but I don't think anything's missing from our relationship.

    Lex
     
  15. biAnnika

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    My partner and I *are* best friends (and yes, I can tell her anything/everything and it is *not* weird) and have been for 28 years (and we do do nearly everything together, and our interests have grown very similar, as we're both open-minded enough to try and to cultivate one another's interests). Further, this is the only way I'd ever want it to be for me.

    But I don't especially think *everyone* would thrive in this situation. I think we're a particular brand of compatible that just works. I could easily see two people being quite happy together with their partner and their best friend as different people...it's a question of what role you want your partner to play in your life.
     
  16. Ruprect

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    I can only relate my first hand experiences here. One of my first loves and I, only had a few things in common, and we only lasted for a short time (six months or so) . The next time I was in a "relationship" it lasted years. He was perfect in all regards. We even lived together most of that time. The biggest drawback, although I could be happy with it, was no sex. We just enjoyed each others company. From waking up, to hobbies to fill the time, we were the perfect match.

    Unfortunately, in the long run, he didn't think his son needed two dads. (I presume).

    So, to answer your question, yes you should be the best of friends, and if you're meant to be lovers, it will happen.
     
  17. Toast8971

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    I agree with you a 100%.
     
  18. C06122014

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    Yes I want a relationship with the following;

    •We talk like best friends
    •we play like kids :slight_smile:

    I need to get along with my partner :slight_smile:
     
  19. Alder

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    I agree, if I find a partner I'd like us to be best friends but also with the romantic and sexual bond.
     
  20. Acm

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    Personally I think yes