Do our first friendships influence our gender identity/sexuality in the future?

It doesn't seem particularly likely.

 

I doubt it. But I think early friendships and interaction with others may encourage us to be more or less self-aware and able (or unable) to recognise our gender/sexual identities from an early age.

 

I don't really think so. I wouldn't rule it out, though.

 

I don't think so at all, because they might not be the longest lasting friendships, per se.

 

I wouldn't rule it out, and I guess it may depend on each person, everyone gets emotionally attached in a different way or for different reasons, sometimes we make friends that are very important to us for the time in our life that we've met them, even when the friendship was short-lasting, or our friend's personality may influence us differently.

 

This is a very interesting possibility to think about.

The two friends I'm out to are both female, and we've been friends since kindergarten, so, a little over ten years. I actually met them when I was four. I realize that we are the minority in terms of keeping a friendship for that long, so my experiences are probably a little different than others who found new friends every few years, for instance. I've grown up with mostly females as regular friends, but I never felt like I completely fit with them. I remember when I finally got a guy as a friend, I felt happy, like he was someone I could relate to.

I can understand the switching genders thing. I did that when I identified as genderfluid. But I realized the only reason was because I wanted to attract the guys, as I figured they weren't gay or bi.

I don't believe early friendships determine sexuality. They haven't in my experience, anyways. As far as gender, maybe? It makes me wonder what my gender identity would have been like if I had grown up with a lot of boys. Would I have been comfortable, and even leaning towards femininity then? Honestly, I don't know how to answer your question for the gender part.

 

I don't think so, but I was in love with my first female friend ,when I was a little girl.:icon_redf

 

I know this isn't really answering your question, but I feel like some people's (not everyone, so nobody jump on my ass please) sexuality is caused or at least affected by their environment and upbringing. Don't get it twisted, I do think a lot of people are born gay, but I also believe that some gays aren't born that way. Like I think some people have a "list" of rational reasons why they prefer a particular gender or sex. Not just gut feelings.

I wonder. Let's say there's this place called Gay Island and the only people on the island are men. Men that were all born straight, but were put on this island straight from birth. The Gay Island is the only thing they know. For this you will have to pretend that a bunch of babies alone on an island wouldn't die lol. Growing up, they don't know what a woman is. Never seen one. Do you think they would fall in love with each other? Remain as friends? Would they have platonic sex? Romantic sex? Who knows, but I'm interested.

 

I don't think it would dear

 

If our first friend is what we're going by... then no, at least, not in my case. The first individual I can remember being around, in around 2nd grade, wound up becoming, over his lifetime, a womanizer (not just misogynistic comments, but straight up physical abuse), addicted to heavy drugs and hard liquor, and spending 30+ years in prison, for armed robbery (where he still is, by the way, and probably will go back to, if he ever gets out).

Of course, your question is about gender identity and/or sexuality. As far as I know, he was a cisgender male, and heterosexual. So, no. Just like I wasn't influenced to become, well, a mess.

That said, I have encountered a few females who, for various reasons, set off that momentary envy feeling. They have really nice hair, soft skin, or look incredible in certain outfits, for examples. While not necessarily friends, we are friendly. They have, in a way, influenced possible looks I'd want, or mannerisms I could have, if I were to ever physically transition. So, it is possible, in some ways, or to some degrees.

 

Me too, though I didn't realize it at the time :icon_redf .

To answer your question, MindvsHeart, I don't think it influences our sexuality. I do think (given mine and stocking's answers) that it can be telling of our future preferences, though. Who we are drawn to in childhood can be indicative of who we'll be drawn to later in life, too. It's not necessarily that there is a sexual component at that age, but that there is an emotional draw to a particular gender.

I do think that who we hung around with as kids could definitely influence our gender presentation. I'm not sure about gender identity. But I think a girl who hangs with boys is more likely to present as tomboy to fit in with the guys, for example. I know that I personally had mostly female friends, but that I also grew up with two younger brothers, and so I think I got a fairly balanced amount of influence as far as gender presentation. I don't think hanging with boys as a girl will make you trans, though maybe it could indicate a preference toward being masculine.

Totally beside the point, I'd like to say, I've always loved your username

 

I preferred female friends, and I stopped hanging out with them because I was 'trying to be a boy' or something. :icon_sad:

As well as I like guys and my male friends I never actually feel the same connection that I've felt with female friends. My two best friends I absolutely love, but I feel like I can't talk to a couple of regular dudes about a lot of this stuff.

 

Hm, might be possible.

 

I didn't realize it either, I thought it was admiration but, I really was in love with her, I kept asking myself why do I feel this way about a girl, I wanted her to like me so bad ,I do things to impress her and be extra nice to her.