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Being a transgendered individual

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by DarkClarity, Aug 15, 2014.

  1. DarkClarity

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    Today I got a letter and instead of Mr I was referred to as Ms. Probably a typo (or I made a mistake on a form I filled out). Anyway it got me thinking and I wanted to ask the transgendered members of EC how do you deal with being referred to as the gender you were born in and not the gender you identify as? How do people react when they find out your transgendered? Have you had a positive or negative experience with other members of the LGBTQ community? Do you feel that trans issues receive enough attention? And finally what do you think should be done to help people understand transgendered individuals better?
     
  2. Tai

    Tai
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    I can't do much because I'm not out to many, but the two people I have come out to still misgender me. It drives me nuts. I just silently fume when it happens. They reacted in a positive way, however. One said she had some suspicions about it, the other said she has no room to judge and she just wants me to be happy the way I want to be.

    To understand trans people better, honestly I just feel like there should be more trans people coming out (I know I'm a hypocrite right now; I'm working on it) to their family and friends. The only way people will understand us more and we will be more accepted is if we start to come out more, have a bigger group, and take a step towards the "norm." I feel like we are a minority within a minority, and I'm okay with that. If gays and lesbians are slowly doing more successful than trans people, I congratulate them. It's a struggle we all have to deal with, and the less that suffer, the better.
     
    #2 Tai, Aug 15, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2014
  3. Kai LD

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    My teacher referred to me as Mr. <last name> and I recalled all the times I felt glum or nothing when addressed with male pronouns.
     
  4. Kasey

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    When I present female it pisses me off. However people either refer to me as female pronouns or gender neutral if not sure. I've never been misgendered that way thankfully.

    And even if this alienates me here, I'm going to say it.

    Transgender rights and support are much further behind than gay and lesbian rights. Tai is exactly right.

    To be honest it hurts to hear my parents call me son, even though I'm not out to them.
     
  5. stormborn

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    i try to ignore it. usually, i ultimately can't, and then i feel super depressed. depending on the person who did it, it can take me a long time to get over.

    people are usually confused, surprised, or upset when they find out, though everyone tries to hide it.

    my therapist once said that transgender rights are 10-15 years behind gay rights. which i really agree with. issues need much more attention, there needs to be more representation in the media, and a hell of a lot more education, especially around non-binary genders.
     
  6. Kasey

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    Our rights are 10 to 15 years behind everyone else. Not debatable.
     
  7. stormborn

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    preach, sister! :eusa_clap
     
  8. Takine

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    No because no stranger knows my whole deal, how I find male terms ugly (maybe if I was French or Dutch it'd be different lol) I don't get hung up on it. I dress in-primarily-male clothing, so they go with what I look the par of, and it just so happens to match my junk.
     
  9. TabletopFan

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    Yeah gotta agree with you miss. Hopefully things will change. One battle at a time right? :/
     
  10. Pret Allez

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    It would be cool if people stopped murdering us.
     
  11. RayXxx

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    I'm tired of people using female pronouns on me, then again I'm not out so how could they know. I especially hate the female stereotypes that are sometimes used against me because they mostly don't stand true for me. People shouldn't make assumptions.
     
  12. Kasey

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    Yea. Much love for the support.
     
  13. Hexagon

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    It doesn't really happen anymore. When it did, I'd get pissed off if it was deliberate, or correct someone if it was an accident.
    How do people react when they find out your transgendered? They don't, I don't tell them.
    Have you had a positive or negative experience with other members of the LGBTQ community? I didn't tell them either
    Do you feel that trans issues receive enough attention? Not really
    And finally what do you think should be done to help people understand transgendered individuals better? No idea
     
  14. Wuggums47

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    Nobody would ever guess my gender, I usually look more like a woman, so I get called a woman. It doesn't bother me as much as if I got called a man.
     
  15. Kaiser

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    How do you deal with being referred to as the gender you were born in, and not the gender you identify as?:
    I've had 28 years, so, I'm used to it. I'll admit, sometimes, it can feel like an emotional pinch, but that tends to happen in very specific instances. For example, I find some fascinating and appealing, and they perceive me as a male. It sort of smacks me into a daze, but only for a moment. I'm only directly 'out' about my gender identity to one person, but she has since begun to drift away, involved in her own misadventures. To everybody else, they probably wouldn't guess, because of how I present myself. At best, they assume I'm just an overly observant, emotionally-in-touch male, and at worst, they assume I'm just an overly observant, emotionally-in-touch male.

    I do make remarks like, "I feel like a woman", and people, usually, say something in response, like, "You're silly!". However, I've had a few females tell me, just the way I relate and communicate with them, that I'm a honorary woman (or something similarly close), to them, so, that kind of helps. It has been a while since I've heard something like that, but I still remember the times it has happened.

    How do people react when they find out your transgendered?:
    As stated before, I'm only directly out to one individual. They, amusingly, weren't knocked back, like I thought they would be.

    Their response was, pretty much: " Huh. I can see it now. "

    Of course, they were quiet for a few seconds. Again, to put it into perspective. Imagine George W. Bush, telling you, they wanted to be a ballerina. The way I typically look, it's a very amusing picture to take in, because, as my cousin told me, they were imagining me in all pink, with pretty bows, and make up. We both had a decent laugh at that, and it was fine.

    Have you had a positive or negative experience with other members of the LGBTQ community?:
    So far, it's been okay. I'd say there are some issues, but nothing as severe as others have experienced. I suppose, in that regard, I am fortunate. I do think, though, that there is a tendency to exclude trans-people, as if we're an Achilles heel to the LGBTQ movement. But I don't think most of it, is due to intentional malice, but more so an indifference or lack of understanding. Personally, at least here on this forum, I've been warmly embraced.

    Do you feel that trans issues receive enough attention?:
    Outside of this forum, no. They tend to be drowned out by the other letters in LGBTQ; like the T is a silent letter or something. On one hand, I understand. You can't win a war in one battle. On the other hand, though, I often wonder if the other letters in LGBTQ will, after they have their emancipation, still stick around to help us. We are invaluable allies now, because we are all discriminated against, even oppressed. Often times, alliances break, when one party obtains their desires, leaving the rest behind, a former shell of what it once was.

    And finally, what do you think should be done, to help people understand transgendered individuals better?
    This... is a complex question. Aside from the generally cliche answer of, education, there isn't anything that you can, really, sit down and say in a few seconds, or even minutes. To make an attempt at condensing it, I would say, just bringing awareness of our plight, so that, maybe, while many ears will become incited, that we too find support as well. Until we let the world know, we exist, we'll just be thought of as psychologically fucked up, degenerates of society, eccentric perversions on the mark of humanity, and so on and so forth.

    We must be heard, first. It is futile to speak, if the listener is deaf.
     
  16. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I'm not out so I get referred to as the wrong gender pretty much always. It usually makes me sad and then I feel guilty, like I'm hiding something. The few friends I'm out to are pretty good about getting my name and pronouns and when they do mess up they apologize right away, so it's not a problem really.

    So far I've been too scared to directly tell anyone (I'm a huge chicken) but I changed my name and gender on social media and people noticed and asked me about it, so I told them and everyone just accepted it.

    The only LGBT space I'm part of is the school GSA, and there's been a little bit of transphobia in there. I definitely think trans issues need more attention. I mainly think we need insurance coverage of transition (I know some places have it but not everwhere)