I've never really thought about it before reading this article, but hell, as a gay guy I can totally understand what it's like not to be able to "naturally" conceive; BBC News - When childless isn't a choice
I don't understand, but then again, I've never been in love with anyone or yearned to have a child with anyone. I'd be one of those people who would adopt. I don't understand why it makes such a difference to them. The only thing that differs from adopting a baby is that the baby is not going to have the adoptive parents' genes, looks, and other things passed on. Otherwise, it's just another baby you can nurture, protect, and love as if you had had it. I was adopted. My mom couldn't have a biological child. Whenever I was little and said they weren't my "real" parents, I could tell it hurt them and they argued that they loved me as if they were my biological parents. So I don't really understand the need to have a kid with your genetics that's so much better than adopting. Maybe I will when I'm older? I don't know.
But it's easy for us to say that, right? We've had years to make sense of our feelings - and since we joined the dots on our sexuality, the idea of adoption has probably always been at the back of our minds. But for most of these infertile women they've spent a lifetime thinking they were going to have *natural* kids and they're having to grapple with it much later in life. They've probably built up a fair amount of prejudice (they may think of it as "sympathy" or "pity") for people who adopt and it's hard for them to get over that. In a way, however difficult coming to terms with being Gay/Lesbian/Trans is, at least were forced to deal with a pile of issues (like this) upfront. I don't know if that makes sense. I clicked to read that article expecting myself to get a bit defensive - like "they have no idea how hard it is to both be gay AND unable to have a child with someone you love" - but instead I found myself kinda understanding the pain they must be going through.
Even before I knew I was trans and bi, I was afraid of being pregnant. I still am. It wasn't one of those things that I thought, "I may be scared of it now because I'm young, but later on, I will want it." It was more like I knew I'd feel unnatural being pregnant and that was never going away. Maybe it's because I'm trans. I guess I can understand them being upset, but I don't see why it has to ruin their lives and bring them into depression. It's not like they can never raise a child. It just won't be biologically from their conception. I feel sympathy, but not a lot because of the fact that they can adopt a child.
I'm not going to feel sympathy for someone who considers adopted relationships inferior. Tough luck, get over it; if you want to be snobby about it, I'm not going to feel sorry when it becomes your only choice. It's almost creepy in the way they project a possessive desire over biological children. Why are adopted children any less yours because of hair or eye colour?
