Gay folks can be mean, too.

Well, I lost a few assumptions I had last night. While I was at the dance venue - I still go once a week, mainly because I get so much pleasure from dancing for hours on end amongst others, the music gets into me and moves me in a way that it doesn't when I'm alone - I got emotional about something. I had tears coming into my eyes. So I headed for the bathroom, I though, "well that's a safe place to just let it all out, then I can get back to the dance". While in there, all these tears flooded out, I was almost sobbing them out, and I let it happen. Of course, not having been a drinker for many years, and only recently allowing myself some moderate alcohol consumption, had something to do with my emotions gushing out like that. But anyway, I'm in the men's, assuming that I was in the right place to have a bit of a cry, when these two guys come in, and honestly although they veiled their banter in a so-called 'clever' way, it was pretty clear they were making fun of me. I thought, "wow, how compassionate. A guy has taken refuge in the toilets to cry his eyes out, and you two just decide to make fun of him for it". I said nothing, because as they were two, and I one, well the best thing seemed to be to just ignore them.

Later also, as I was going to the cloak room to collect my bag, there was a group of three of four guys, who were even more cutting about me. It was damn obvious they were making fun or me, and when I pretended not to notice them either, and just walked past, one of them said "hey skinny guy!". Wow, how charming. I was semi-detached about it, but it still hurt. I did not expect to get put down twice in one night, and by 'fellow lgbt folk' as well. I guess it's time for me to accept that gay folks really are just like everyone else - some are good, some not, and there are an infinite variety of shades inbetween.

Having said that, the night did have a few positive experiences, in fact one of them was the reason I suddenly felt so emotional that I had to go and be alone for a while. So it was, in a way, the best night I've had there, but in the midst of that otherwise good night, there were a few really nasty experiences thrown in. I've never been like that, to pick on a soft target like that (it's so easy to pick on someone who is alone, isn't it?). I guess those guys are really cowards, deep down. If I were in a group, I'm sure they would have kept their puerile mouths shut.

 

Thank you for your kind words, but just to reiterate, I thought that the bathroom was the right place, a more private place, I certainly didn't let myself go in public. But apparently it wasn't. Next time, I will actually go out of the venue for a walk, and cry in a side street. I don't actually wish for strangers to see my tears, it was not my intention at all. It was accidental.

---------- Post added 16th Aug 2014 at 12:49 PM ----------

Thanks, El Pana. Rest assured, there were also plenty of sweet gay guys like yourself there, as well. I even got to dance with one this time.

---------- Post added 16th Aug 2014 at 12:52 PM ----------

Yes, I've learned that even the bathroom isn't safe to have a cry in. But when women do that, from what I hear, they don't get treated like that. I was just a bit naive to assume that gay guys might be as understanding, as - so I hear - women are, in general, towards each other in such situations.

---------- Post added 16th Aug 2014 at 12:59 PM ----------

I think, different folks have different ways of dealing with situations. I think there's also something to be said for 'giving them back as good as you get'. Good on you for standing up for yourself! But be careful, because sometimes, ignorant types can get fired up by an exchange, and you wouldn't want it to escalate too much, no? Anyway, thanks for your support also, and by the way I think 'queens' rule. :icon_bigg

---------- Post added 16th Aug 2014 at 01:04 PM ----------

Anyway, near the end of the night, well this lovely lady who had sort of danced in my vicinity a few times, and I felt so drawn to her, that I kind of moved to her a few times as well, well as she was leaving, we just looked at each other and both smiled, for a while. It was the most beautiful experience I have had there, and it still resonates in me. She is so beautiful and, I sense, kind as well.

---------- Post added 16th Aug 2014 at 01:14 PM ----------

By the way, thank you everyone for all of your kind support here. I feel better already.

<3

 

For your amusement, I might also relate how this dark-haired, lanky guy had intentionally ripped his t-shirt, so that the bottom half of his tummy was constantly exposed. I didn't feel the emotional connection with him that I felt for the lady, but damn it he is a cheeky boy for being so damned hot like that. And when he danced near me, well forget it I was way too shy to meet his eyes properly. When I encounter folks I feel are 'out of my league' I tend to be a bit 'defeatist', because inside I assume that really, if I talk to them, they might be offended that I even dared to assume, that they might be attracted to me - so I just keep dancing, but I mostly avoid eye contact. (Except in one case where I flirtatiously smiled at one guy - first time I've ever done this - and then I just turned away and kept dancing. That was fun, I must admit )

Anyway, one thing that I felt last night, was that it's actually fun to be Bi - I just have to confess, I kind of love it. I'm shamelessly, joyously, Bi.

 

I know, you are right...but at the moment, that venue is the only outing I can afford, until I have more funds. Thus far, I sense that there are actually a few others there who I could relate with, though, but they are in the minority. Many come across as just 'hunting for some fresh meat' which is an attitude I find distasteful (not that there's anything wrong with sex at all, just that I like to get to know someone first, not just jump their bones on the first night). But there are also a few who seem nicer, and last night I actually encountered a few of them, so it wasn't all bad. But thank you for your advice, essentially, yes it isn't exactly the best place to 'get to know someone'.

---------- Post added 16th Aug 2014 at 02:05 PM ----------

Oh, now you're being a tease! You're giving me ideas for next time :lol: My revenge is that you will now visualize the cute, cheeky guy with the half-ripped t-shirt dancing close enough for you to feel his body heat muahaha

 

"...aren't very healthy..."

this. That is the general observation I've had, too. But those few others who are nice, keep me coming back. Having said that, if it were not for the fact that I'm hooked on dancing (for example last night I danced for about four hours straight and even when my knees got sore, kept going till they closed the place down for the night), if it were not for this new passion I've discovered I would not go either, even though there are a few folks there who, I sense, are a bit more like myself. Not *everyone* who goes there is shallow, but yes there is definitely a predominance of shallowness there. Anyway once more, thank you for your understanding.

 

This is becoming an increasingly naughty topic, but as you asked: well, as he moved, you could see that although he was rather slender, his abs were well-defined and strong, and his belly button was visible as well. Argh I need to get the image out of my head now! :lol:

But I've said it before, and still feel this way: I would still trade any amount of pleasurable dalliance with guys of 'hot, cute appearance' for just one special person whom I could love and hold at night, and who could love me back, too.

 

Humph. Something I've dreamed of all my life. Maybe I'm a fool for believing in that sort of thing.

 

Good to hear I'm not the only one.