So...Long story...ish. One day my (oldish) friends and I were goofing around and drawing on ourselves with marker. We're all pansexual. We decided to write a bunch of quotes like "LOVE IS LOVE!", "I SUPPORT THE GAYS!", "BE HEARD!", "BEING GAY IS OKAY!" and "PEACE!" ALL OVER our arms. Because of the stupid fucking homophobic teachers, students and principal, we were yelled at and forced to either cover it up, or wash (and I quote) "that garbage" off. But it's not garbage. And it distracted no one. And it says NOTHING in the dress code or the handbook about that. I was furious. Especially because they forced me to see the guidance counselor, who is not very fond of me, and she threatened that if I didn't come out to my mom, then she'd tell her everything. That's not her place. It's mine. And I need to do it when I'M ready. I didn't tell my mom yet, and I don't think the school did, so that's a huge relief. Recently my homophobic stepdad overheard me talking to my mom about the clothes I want to get for back-to-school, and he said "school is no place to express yourself. There are other places you can go to do that". ...There are? Where are these places? I MUST KNOW! And yes, school can also be a place to express yourself. If everyone looked alike, that would be a world I would not wanna live in. I'd rather die than look exactly like everyone else on the planet. But anyways, where are these other places?
You need to inform that counselor that you can have her literally lose her license to practice. Whether or not you are 18 that is inappropriate to threaten you in that fashion when it is a confidential setting. Gosh do you live near a city? That makes it a lot easier to find people and meet people and be places where nobody cares when you be you.
This reminds me of "free speech zones". I like schools, but abhor the ways some laws don't count. Once you're in a school, everything you bring is legally theirs, Miranda warnings don't apply, free speech is limited, etc. I guess they were allowed to do it of they decided it was a distraction to the class, but they clearly had ulterior motives. I mean, one of our less serious classmates gave himself a marker hitlerstache and nothing happened. The problem with expressing yourself anywhere so that you have no guarantee as to how people will react, and in schools others have power over you. Personally, if I were you, I'd organize a bunch of people (anyone who supports LGBTQ+ rights) and get them to do something like that, maybe a bit more subtle, like draw rainbows on each other, during some special gay day (say, next time a state or country makes gay marriage legal). Of course, I've never gotten along well with authority, and since you know your school better, you might know it could make things worse. Your guidance counselor is a bitch, simply put. It is nobody's place but your own to decide when to come out. Unfortunately, I don't think things like that aren't illegal (and Tenessee is trying to make it mandatory), but if she tells your mom, you can probably convince you just support LGBTQ+ rights, and are not yourself gay, bi, or pan, and that your counselor is making assumptions. If you want to differentiate yourself from others, consider wearing a bracelet in the pan pride colors (some people might know what they mean, but anyone who knows that much about the mystical world of queerness is probably tolerant, and most likely supportive) or something similar. As to your somewhat hypothetical question, there are places you can express yourself without fear of reprisal, and the very best is right here! Venting, especially to people I like but don't personally know, is one of the best ways for me to get through frustration.
This is ridiculously stupid, but the saddest thing is that it would probably happen here as well. You're free to express yourself wherever you want. No one can tell you not to. I guess it just depends on the community around you on how they take it, and if it's safe and/or appropriate for you to express yourself right there and then.
I don't think your school counselors and students have confidentiality agreements. If you do, her telling other people your business could be an ethical violation and subject to punishment by the licensing committee. Not illegal/criminal, but definitely an ethics violation. You'd need to find the organization who licensed her and file a complaint. I'd recommend avoiding her entirely though, some battles are not worth the stress.
I'm so sorry that that happened to you! They should be fired and replaced immediately :tantrum:. I think that you should try here, and finding your local LGBT center in your town/city. There has to be one. Good for you for standing up for yourself!!! It's appalling as to what schools have come to now :dry:.
Thank you all for the advice. Unfortunately, there is not an LGBT center in or near my town. Not even a support group! But next year over the summer I'm gonna come out to my mom and ask her if we can go to Chicago for the Pride festivals and parades. The town I live in isn't very accepting. Everyone is straight and homophobic.
