Today I was playing a video game called Tales of Xillia. My mom looked at what I was playing. At that time I had my menu of artes open. She said, "Oh, what's that...? I know, it's a list of your terrible weapons." They were special attacks, but not weapons... I just kind of sat there, not saying anything, trying to keep my annoyance quiet. My mom's always been like that. Anti-violence supporter, to the extreeeeme. It carries over to what I play, as you can see. When I was little, I wasn't allowed to play any sort of video game, whether on a console or handheld, because she was afraid my grades would drop. I finally got to play them in middle school. Now that I've been playing them for a while, she still kind of monitors what I play. If I get a new game, she'll ask, "What's the title? What's the game about?" etc. If a game looks violent to her, she tells me off and says stuff like, "I don't want you playing that violent stuff! I don't like that!" It's really annoying. I could understand if I was playing war games, as they look stupid, violent, and boring to me, but I was playing freaking The Legend of Zelda, Okami, Tales of Xillia, and stuff like that! I was surprised she didn't tell me off for Kingdom Hearts... Probably because it has Disney in it and she knows Disney would never get that violent. (But she hasn't seen the fighting part of KH, just the cutscenes...) What I don't understand is that she sometimes watches movies with wars and guns, but when I play a game with none of the guns and blood she sees in her movies, she flips out. She is too freaky and pushy with her anti-violence thing. I'm anti-violence as well, but for crying out loud, it's just a video game. And the violence looks so, so tame. Basically, whenever I'm fighting in a game and not running around doing other stuff like sidequests, I have to pause the game and pretend I'm texting if she looks at what I'm doing. It's all in order to avoid her scolding me for playing such a "violent" game. 1. How should I deal with this kind of thing? 2. Has this kind of thing ever happened to you?
You've got to start standing up to her. You have no reason to give her the names of games you play, so tell her that. Also tell her that you know the difference between reality and fiction, and that video games aren't going to make you a violent person. Secondly, can't you play in your room?
I've told her I know the difference between reality and fiction, but it doesn't help. She'll keep bothering me. I feel obligated to tell her at least the name, as I am still dependent on my parents and they buy some of my video games. It would be so much easier to play in my room, but my room fits a bed, dresser and closet, there's no room for the game projector and big fold-up screen I use, really. Even if there was, my mom is very controlling about where I play my video games. She has this whole thing about, "I want the family together!" and we usually all hang out upstairs most of the time, my parents watching a movie while I play games. Just last week we re-arranged the upstairs for some new furniture and there was not much room for my game projector and screen like there was before. I said I'd take my gaming downstairs, and she downright refused. If I'd have kept pressing her and/or taken my gaming things downstairs, she probably would have started yelling at me, so I avoided doing that.
I would maybe try another approach that is a little less jarring. Maybe you can sit down with here and talk it out. Ask her about what she fears will happen when you play such games. Sit and listen to the whole of what she has to say. It may be boring and you may have already heard it but show her you do care what she thinks. Before you do that do some google searches and find some reputable sources about how video games can be good for people. Then show her some of these things provide some evidence to support your argument/point of view. If she likes to read or even listen to audio books I would suggest "reality is broken by Jane McGonigal" That will most certainly show her a whole other side of games. ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 01:53 AM ---------- I forgot to say that book is on amazon and audible.com
All that may be, but you need to start decreasing the control she exerts over your life. Perhaps not a massive jump right away, but something small. Tell her it's unreasonable for her to expect you to spend all your leisure time with the family. It isn't reasonable, and from what you've said she sounds rather controlling. That isn't going to change as you get older unless you start pushing.
I will try to talk it out with her. She enjoys audiobooks, I may suggest that to her. ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 02:10 AM ---------- Thanks. I will bring this up when I talk to her. Knowing her, she'll tell me to stop being "such a teenager." That's her trump card when I bring something up I want to change. Real mature, right? My mom has a lot of wonderful qualities about her, but this stuff doesn't include any of them.
next time you try to reason with her say that first.people naturally go into a persuader persuadee roles in arguments.which is pretty ineffective at changing peoples minds unless they are in a observer role.show attributes you want to see from her and she will be more likely to to reflect them back to you.
Well first you're lucky. My mother banished all gaming consoles in the house, the exception being game boys....n those were primarily for car rides. Due to my disability I still live with my folks at age 27, and consoles are still not allowed...mom thinks gaming rots brain cells. I know people will say I'm an adult n my mom shouldn't control what I do. But its her house, her rules, and I respect that. This brings me to my second point, and you're prolly not gonna like this. You're 16 and as you yourself stated living n depending on your parents. I'm afraid you're just gonna have to tough it out a couple more years, or when you move out. By all means try n reason with her, n get her to ease up some, but don't make a fight of it. In the end its their house, their rules.
Hippie? As a long-haired vegetarian, I take offense! Seriously though, I know what you mean. My mother and father think that pretty much any video game is just murder.
"Mom, I am not you. You hate violence of all variety, you want to believe it's not a part of this world. Sad truth is, violence is everywhere, in every game, in every book, in every movie, in every story. There is violence of some level. Nature is inherently a violent place. Things die in often cruel manners. You should be thankful that you raised a teen who doesn't enjoy the hyper violent games, books, movies, but instead knows how to find a balance of what I like and the inherently violent world we live in. It's not as though I cannot turn on the news and see journalists being beheaded by ISIS or 8 year-old children holding the beheaded heads of fallen soldiers."
There is none. Its all just images in your head. What you call reality is just electromagnetic and other fields interwoven. Matter can be seen as stuff with a certain vibration. The egyptians used to call it frozen sound. This relates to the stuff called maya- which means illusion. Another thing to ponder is that those games are, at least in my opinion, way too violent. That they are widespread does not make it right. Usually at school the teacher used to ask for results on the homeworks, hands going up with different results given. The majority was almost always wrong. Now mothers-and women in general- are intuitive and often have an emphasis on emotion. I would feel like a hateful energy oozing sometimes from the players, when being in certain stages of the play. Your comments while playing probably go in that direction. There are games which are not so much violent, which involve more thinking and teamwork, which I'd prefer. If you think about it you most certainly will find them. They are also fun to play. What she would like is sitting together, and everyone doing something they like, something like an emotional connection. I think if you talk it through in a friendly way you can probably both reassure each other.
Well if she watches a movie with violence in it (by herself), you won't be influenced by it. She may feel that the video games you play may influence you to become more violent and make bad choices. Like others already suggested, have a talk with her and just ask her why she finds the games violent.
what medication is ur mom on, i want some the tales of games are such happy friendship love fests that her getting upset about it makes me lol and i am sorry for that happenign to you at the same time. invite me over so i can play fallout 3 with bloody mess perk or deus ex hr or something and not give a shit cos she's not my mom, so that i may get kicked out for being a bad influence ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 08:41 AM ---------- is jenga considered violent in the household, you can play jenga right ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 08:42 AM ---------- i will go to the strip club in grand theft auto 5 and not only object the woman but be violent to the citizens on the map as well ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 08:43 AM ---------- DO THE SCENE IN HEAVY RAIN WHERE U CUT THE FINGER OFF WITH SCISSORS, does that count as violence to her if it's against yourself?
Thanks, I'll try that. ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 11:37 AM ---------- It's their house, but when none of her grudges against video games make sense, I want to talk to her about it. I'm sorry you can't have consoles in your house. ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 11:39 AM ---------- Haha, sorry! Sorry about your parents. >.< ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 11:41 AM ---------- That's perfect, thanks. I'll be sure to bring up all of that when I talk to her. ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 11:46 AM ---------- I wouldn't go so far as to call my comments hateful. I am just annoyed at how she constantly nags me for playing violent video games (or, what her definition of violence is). I've played those types of games before, and I prefer JRPGs and action adventure, which tend to have low levels of violence. That's just what I prefer to play. ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 11:54 AM ---------- Yeah, but if that's the case, it just makes her a hypocrite. She even lets me watch violent movies with her, or if I'm with friends. I think there is some kind of stigma on video games for some people like my mom. People that believe in it think things like, "Video games don't help at all with anything. They're a waste of time. They're all violent, stupid, and pointless. They'll make your kids dumb as crap. There's no upsides to them. Your child will become a serial killer if they play them." Stuff like that... ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 11:56 AM ---------- I wouldn't call it cruel, just overprotective and annoying. ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2014 at 12:00 PM ---------- Exactly. She'd express her diapproval but nothing would happen because she's not your mom.
Tales of series = violent? That's a laugh. Compared to everything else these days really. She's going way overboard in my opinion.
[high pitched japanese va voice] friendship is the magic.... that turns dreams into reality!!! mom: LORD IN HEAVEN! TURN THAT VIOLENCE OFF, IT'S YOGA TIME. NOW.
Yeah, she is. It's really irritating. Although today I'm sure she saw me fighting and didn't say anything, so that's great.
