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Weird crush

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by n0ah, Aug 21, 2014.

  1. n0ah

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2014
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Victoria
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Wow ok... About a year ago i kinda came out of the closet as bi becuase my firends werent really "gay friendly" and i thought it would be ok. It kinda was they all forgot all about it and continued with life.. So now i am in high school and my firend which is a boy (we are very lovely dovey jokey boyfriend thing going on) but i was sick yesterday and day before but he came out as bi when i have been gone to all my friends and i have a huge crush on him but he kinda knows im bi but not gay... And i have a huge crush on him like HUGE crush on him. My friend who told me he came out told me he said he was gay during years 3-5 and i was a bit sceptic saying like how is that possible but then later on he told me he was proba,y just confused... So long story short i have a huge crush on one of my best friends and i dont really know what to do.:eusa_doh:
     
  2. Queer NOS

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2014
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    Location:
    Louisiana
    The friend-crushes are always the trickiest. On one hand, many friends will not date their other friends, even if they are attracted to the friend's gender, as they fear that a relationship would complicate and potentially ruin the friendship, especially if they broke up. Also, some people find it difficult to think of someone in a romantic light that they think of in a platonic light, as they usually come to see such friends in a same way that they see their own siblings.

    On the other hand, some of the best relations spawn from friendships, as friends tend to be very compatible with one another.

    Your best bet (says someone who absolutely fails at courting :/ ) would be to first see if he'd ever date a friend in general, and, if he would, express your own interest in your friend.

    Perhaps you can ease into the discussion by mentioning that you heard that he was bi/gay/whatever he identifies as now and ask him what type of guys he likes; eventually, ask him something along the lines of "Would you ever date one of your friends?" (the aim here would be to incorporate it into the conversation in a way that makes it seem like you are just inquiring about who he would and would not date in general; the generality may be more easily maintained if you also mention what type of guys/girls you would and would not date). If he says yes, then it may be the time to mention that you would date one of your friends, too, and that you actually have a crush on such a friend. By this point, he may be able to guess that the friend is him, especially if you are blushing or nervous; if not, then you may have to be specific about you liking him.

    If he wouldn't date a friend, then it'd probably be best to just leave it be (I've learned the hard way that pursuing such a relationship with a friend who wouldn't date friends only serves to weaken the friendship :'( ). If it is of any hope, his opinions on dating friends may change over time.

    In either case, I hope that things work out for the best. :slight_smile: