Please help! No judgement please!

Judgement? Here?! Never...

Sounds like you might be right. I mean, that's not a lot of information to go off of, but typically I've been right by standing by what people originally feel. If you feel like you are FTM trans, I think it's more than likely as you know how you feel the best. Nothing wrong with it.

 

Do you wish you had been born male? You know best.

 

I know plenty of lesbians who pack and/or bind, but they're all women (meaning they would never dream of seeing themselves as otherwise). Just remember that gender expression =/= identity.

 

I'm not trans and don't know as much as I'd like to about the subject (I try to become more informed every day, though!) so my opinion may not mean anything, but reading this makes me wonder if you are gender fluid? I don't fully understand the concept, as i've never had to deal with being unsure of my gender identity, but maybe you should look into that?
Of course it's also possible that you are simply a girl who likes being boyish and sometimes wishes she was a boy. I don't think wishing necessarily equals trans, a lot of people wish they were the opposite gender sometimes. I think if it's more than that, you'd know. You're the only one who can say for sure. (I must say, in my opinion, reading that you suddenly felt this want to make it look like you had a bulge and that you sometimes hate your vagina makes me think you may at the very least not just simply feel female.)

 

The definition has been jumbled over the years
What it really is:
"While biological sex and gender identity are the same for most people, this is not the case for everyone. For example, some people may have the anatomy of a man, but identify themselves as a woman, while others may not feel they are definitively either male or female.
This mismatch between sex and gender identity can lead to distressing and uncomfortable feelings that are called gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is a recognised medical condition, for which treatment is sometimes appropriate. It is not a mental illness. Adults with gender dysphoria can feel trapped inside a body that does not match their gender identity. They may feel so unhappy about social expectations that they live according to their anatomical sex, rather than the gender they feel themselves to be. They may also have a strong desire to change or get rid of physical signs of their biological sex, such as facial hair or breasts."

What people like to say it is:
"An extreme hatred for your body, a feeling of disgust towards the gender you were assigned at birth" And because of this lots of people overlook that they have gender dysphoria.

I am a very curvy boy, I have large boobs and big hips, I have an hour glass figure. I can appreciate that this is attractive and desirable, and if I identified as a girl, I would love it, however to me, I feel like I'm just piloting a robot/shell from the inside, I feel like the body I'm using isn't actually connected to me, and I need to work to make it better reflect my gender (Male)


But it does sound like you have dysphoria if you get upset over your sex characteristics.
Have you ever heard of the term genderfluid?
It means you are a boy and a girl, but some days you identify as a boy, and some days you identify as a girl. Do some research on that, remember, there's more genders than male, female and transgender, don't be afraid to do some searching to find a gender that suits you
good luck

 

From what you've said, it's mostly likely that you're a FtM. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. You could also be genderfluid, so you can't rule out that possibility either.

 

I have to echo Im Just Me. You may be gender fluid, which means sometimes you can feel male, sometimes you can feel female, sometimes you can feel like neither. I'm pretty uninformed about it, but here's some posts:

Personal account: I Am Genderfluid.
Wikipedia entry: Genderqueer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Another thing: https://www.genderspectrum.org/understanding-gender

(search up "genderfluid" or "gender fluid" for more)

 

Hey, I said genderfluid too :c

 

Sorry, dude. You posted while I was typing it up. (*hug*)

 

Haha it's cool

 

Why would we judge this you aren't doing anything wrong I see it as you just being yourself.

 

Welcome to EC! Sounds to me like you have valid concerns about a complex situation.

I don't think we can do much more than hear you and scratch the surface of what's possible. It sounds to me like you really need to talk to a gender specialist...someone who knows about gender issues and can help you to unravel your different, conflicting levels of feeling (not to mention, if you are a FtM, help you consider your options). Not a generic therapist, or an adolescent specialist...a *gender* specialist.

It sounds like your family is generally supportive. My sense is they'd probably be ok with lining up this kind of support for you...but of course you'd have a better sense of that than I would.

Regardless of how things work out, good luck with your continued journey of self-discovery!

 

:roflmao:

That's what I thought for my first few months here...

:roflmao:

 

Okay, but most of the people here are ten billion times less judgmental and more awesome than 99.9999% of everyone I meet in real life. Haha.