This is a general question, not an advice question. I'm talking to this girl and we both have feelings for each other and will probably become a thing soon, and though I won't be saying it anytime soon, it got me to thinking--in your past relationships, how long have you waited to say 'I love you' or for you, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before saying it?
For me it depends on how long you've known the person. I even tell it to people I'm not involved with.
Until I truly get to know the person and find out if they're really worth my time or not. Otherwise, it's not worth telling them.
I've said "I'm thinking I'm getting some pretty deep feelings for you, but I'm not sure if those are returned just yet." That seemed like a good way to broach the subject. We moved on to "I love you" soon afterwards. Lex
A lot, for example I never said to anyone in past relationships 'I love you' and that was few times cause of the break-up. I can't say it to anyone.
You know, I always thought that the severity of this topic was a tad...overrated? Don't get me wrong, you probably shouldn't just come out and tell your lover "I love you" right after your first date or something like that. It comes off as a bit creepy; especially if you're still pretty young and you still don't quite know what love is. But I think that people shouldn't worry about when they say it- nor gauge who they're dating by how soon their lover tells them, "I love you." It's a phrase that people put too much meaning on top of and really, once you've said it, you can't say much more on top of it to truly express how you feel. Words can only go so far and action is what really determines how much you work, risk, sacrifice, and overall live to make your partner happy. No matter how long you've been with your partner, "I love you" always bears a different meaning depending on where you are in your relationship. You say it to reassure your partner, say it when you start to doubt that you love your partner, say it when you're suspicious, say it when you obsess, say it when you don't actually mean it, say it when you're longing, say it when having sex, say it in the prime of your happiness, and say it to keep the relationship held by at least a thread. Because of its variety of validity when saying it, I think people get way too bent out of shape over when it's the right time to first say it. Inevitably, you never stop worrying when it is the right time to say it. TL;DR: Show your lover you "love them," don't just say it.
until the timing is right really. don't say it automatically when you first jump into a relationship.
In a serious context, a little while. You can enjoy being around somebody, at first, and in small doses. Until you begin to see more of each other, and learn how to work with/off one another, it seems premature. Of course I can love you, if I see you once a week, and each time we do meet, we have a nice meal, some laughs, and snuggle up! Now, seeing each other, every day -- when we wake up, looking like garbage and kicking morning breath, when one of us smacks their head into the door, thus losing that suave romantic aura, when the other belches in front of you. That stuff, is when you see if you really love somebody, or if you're just tolerating them for some other aspect... ... at least, that's what I believe. I've yet to actually, erm, put this into practice. 'Tis the bane of being single. Now, in a supportive manner. It depends, but usually a few weeks of spending time together. And even then, I say it randomly but in intervals. The one exception this, though, is gay axolotl. She's so hard not to love!
