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That weird "in-between" stage...?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by confuseduser99, Aug 21, 2014.

  1. confuseduser99

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    I've come out to some people, but I'm still partly closeted (places like work). It feels so weird. One minute I'm being my "gay" self at home, the next minute I'm this "straight" guy (even though I sometimes purposely act a little "gay").

    How do you deal with being in this stage? It feels like I'm partly living a lie/hiding a big part of me. Anyone else ever been in this stage/is currently in this stage?
     
  2. SimpleTim

    SimpleTim Guest

    Yes, I hear you.

    However, I don't believe I act any gayer around my close friends and family who knows.

    But for other people, it's more on a need-to-know basis. If they ask, I'll tell the truth. If a girl develops feelings for me, I won't lie. But other than that, I let people assume what they want.

    I know there are some people (for security reasons), are better left not knowing.
     
  3. chrisyboy

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    I find it not as difficult because I am kinda straight acting, or i cover up my feminine side by being quite...business like in how I hold myself. I straighten up around my parents/elders but with friends I am happy to let my hands go wild

    know a guy who's the most flamboyant gay guy you'll ever meet, yet he is the straightest manliest guy when he is at home.
     
  4. charlie t

    charlie t Guest

    Right now I'm kind of going through a gender identity crisis, I'm a lesbian and I'm out to my friends and family but I kind of think I might be FtM trans, so I kind of get where you're coming from. When I'm at work I think I tend to act the same way I do at home, except that I never bring up girlfriends.
     
  5. Bolt35

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    i think it's more then enough for your friends and families to know. they're more acquainted with you and you realy don't have to worry about it. you can just act like yourself. in a work type of environment, i don't really think it's that much of a necessity to do that. you would have to keep it as professional as you can, even if it's in the middle of a road at mcdonalds. don't add too much stress or worry about those kinds of stuff. in time, it'll pass, you'll be able to get used to it to the point that you forgot about it.
     
  6. confuseduser99

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    I guess this is the best course of action to take. If someone asks, tell them. If not, just carry on as usual.

    But what if the topic of your sexual orientation comes out, without anyone straight up asking what you are? And also, when people (family especially) ask you "do you have/are you looking for a girlfriend?" How should you respond?
     
  7. anniesims

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    Im at the "inbetween stage" too. I dont want my kids to know yet. They dont even know that their father and I divorcing yet. We want be more settled in what the living situation and all that will be first. So im kind of keeping it quiet arounnd people they know. A couple girls at work know, my husband knows and one neighbour who is a lesbian knows. After I tell my kids I guess I will just be honest if it comes up.
     
  8. EatYourRikkios

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    I'm in that, now. Since joining up, I've been out to everyone... who isn't back home. So one minute I'll be talking to the others in the barracks, chatting, laughing, talking about this cute girl or other, and then I'll be on the phone with my parents and they're trying to set me up with some guy that's going to be at DLI with me.

    It's this really weird moment of disassociation with the situation. I see it, I'm a part of it, but I'm looking at it from an objective standpoint and feel... baffled. And sort of awful for hiding it. And frustrated.

    But it's less awful and frustrating than being totally in the closet was, which is how I deal with it. I count to ten, lose my eyes and, yes, sometimes have to hang up or leave the conversation. Mostly, I try to compartmentalize, which helps.
     
  9. confuseduser99

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    Yeah, it's definitely MUCH easier than being totally in the closet!
     
  10. daisy448

    daisy448 Guest

    Don't think of it as lying, you deserve to come out in your own time and shouldn't be controlled by the pressures of society.