I was on the train, dressed in my lovely, slim-fitting clothes, with the gold studs in my ears and truly, in my case it does make me look even more 'androgynous' than I already do, which was of course the idea in any case :icon_wink, anyway behind me was this group of guys, noisy, drinking beer, and talking in crude ways about girls and all manner of things. One of them said he wanted a tattoo but he didn't want a design with stars on it (I don't know what the hell he was going on about, actually) or anything 'like that' cos it would look 'gay' and I noticed how irritating it was to have to hear that word used as a term of derision. Of course I totally ignored them, I'm just relating how irritating it was, to not only have to hear this, but all the other mindless drivel they crapped on about, including where one can find 'slutty chicks' etc., and to have to tolerate it for half of my journey into the city. Even before, I never hung out with guys like this, but now, they turn me off even more, if that were possible.
It annoys me but mostly when people say it like it's the worst thing in the world. More often than not I find myself asking what's wrong with that and asserting that kind of ignorance demonstrates low intelligence. Also the gay vs. ghey "Oh I'm only using it to mean something/someone contemptible" is the flimsiest justification ever. If it was a word that was used in describing something they were being re-purposed like that, they wouldn't like it.
Meh. I notice it, but it doesn't bother me. "Gay" means a few different things in today's world and I understand that. Tons of young people use "gay" to mean stupid, so when your peers are using it, you tend to start using it too. Of course if you're LGBT you might make it a point to not use the word. I don't feel that it's something to get butt hurt over and I don't really get how people can get so emotional about it... it's a word. Or maybe the guy thought that the tattoo would make him look homosexual. If I was straight I wouldn't want to give people homosexual vibes either. Not saying that homosexuality is bad (obviously), but I like people to see me for who I really am. I wouldn't want to be seen as a straight girl.
When they actually do mean that a) it's homosexual and b) a bad thing, it can be pretty offensive to people and rightfully so. Other than that I personally don't really care. It's pretty much unavoidable in our vernacular. I am amused at the idea of a word used to describe them being corrupted and if someone does say "stop saying that, it's upsetting" it's polite to shut up.
I just observe how differently I feel when hearing this, as compared with before. Previously I would just think "what a bunch of ignorant fools". But this time, I admit I had a slight emotional reaction, but maybe this was because I felt just a tad vulnerable, sitting not that far in front of this group...they would occasionally sort of bash things to make a loud noise, I didn't look at what they were doing but they were pretty rowdy and I guess it just made me a bit nervous. I felt relieved when they got off the train.
It's just a combination of ignorance and insecurity. When you examine just how far deep that goes down, all the venom is removed.
In all honesty I don't get very irritated when stuff like that happens. All my life, I've heard it being used in that way,which annoyed me. But my family literally didn't care for my opinion so I had to gradually get used to it without realizing it. So I suppose I've grown immune to that type of Ignorance.
I can understand your discomfort being "trapped" on a train in that context. Like dogs in packs, assholes in packs can act differently and more aggressively if they think they can get away with it. You never know for sure.
I personally dislike the term when it's used in a harmful way. I have a bad habit of calling people out on it, actually lol Most of the time I'll just ask them 'and what's wrong with something being gay?' and then explain to them how homosexuality is a natural part of the world's life cycle because its nature's signal that humanity is getting overpopulated for their environment. Curiously, people tend to not get violent but look a bit ashamed of themselves and try to get away as quickly as possible.
People are starting to (some of them) realize that bigotry in any form is wrong. Than they accidentally say something out of ignorance and end up mortified because now they are the bigot.
I feel like at least where I live this "slang" use of gay has been slowly phasing out, which is fortunate as I hate it. It's similar to calling something "retarded." Unfortunately I grew up with cousins and classmates using "gay" when they meant "bad," "stupid," or "unappealing" and it really bothered me because I knew it reflected the belief that gay=bad.
I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. Like someone above me mentioned, bigotry is starting to become more and more recognized as bad in any form. I just think that you should be the bigger in situations like those (which you were, clearly), and you were able to not say anything to those bunch of nimrods. If they choose to be ignorant, which, from the looks of it, they do, then that's going to be their problem, not yours.
They're looking for slutty chicks? They sound like the sluts to me. People who speak like that are disgusting.
