Do you think that fantasies are a good indicator of sexuality? (Apologies if this is in the wrong section by the way) The reason I'm curious about this topic is because I've heard a lot of different opinions on this. Personally, I've had sexual fantasies about plenty of guys and girls before (primarily girls now though), and I could get off on pretty much anything, especially during those awkward horny teenager years... with varying amounts of effort. Even now, identifying more or less as lesbian- though I'm still open to the idea I might be bisexual-if I really wanted to, I guess I could fantasize about a guy and still get off eventually. It's just that I'm not really interested in fantasizing about guys anymore, even though I did before, during the long questioning and denial stages. I think the difference was I think how much I actually wanted each fantasy in real life and how easy it was to get aroused. Plus it was highly rare for me to have thought or wanted to think about a guy's genitals during fantasies that involved males. Honestly, I don't know. Anyways, just wondering if any of you have thoughts on this, any of you relate-do you think that sexual fantasies necessarily always point to sexual orientation, or is it sometimes more complicated than that? (*hug*)
Short answer, no. Sometimes what makes a fantasy so appealing is, the taboo factor, or the fact we would/could never actually go through with it. Also, keep in mind, your fantasies are yours, totally, absolutely, and you control them. Real life... doesn't work like that. In your fantasies, you can make even the most unappealing thing, appealing. It requires a lot more in the real world. That said, they can be a good starting point. When I've thought about males and females, that was just a crack in the chasm. That was one of the first few indications of my sexuality. But that also said, some of the things I've thought about, I doubt I'd ever actually do of my own accord.
I think it's more of who gets you off, people like to think it's about who you have a n emotional connection with or a relationship with but people can have a relationship with anyone really. Who your sexually into and get off to counts a lot more in who your sexual orientation. In some cases it can be but not always.
My first impression to this question is also no. I've also heard from people that sometimes the fantasy, when pursued in real life, ends up being wholly different in feeling to what was expected. They are useful to get an idea but they are not reliable in and of themselves.
I would say yes, because for me it was reliable. But I would say no , because for some people it is not. I guess even if I thought about a guy , I would still be able to get off. Even if I had nothing on my mind , I would still do. Stimulation is stimulation.
I would guess that as with a lot of things, it depends on the person and circumstances. For me, being able to imagine myself with a woman sexually and it feeling "natural" and "right" was how I helped to figure out my sexuality. I think it can help give insight as to who you may truly want or desire. At the same time, though, I can see how it wouldn't -- for example, someone may fantasize about a situation not because they're attracted to or desire the person(s) in question, but just because the very idea of it being taboo or different from the norm gets them off. I also agree it depends on how much that fantasy is strictly a fantasy to you, or if it's something you could actually imagine yourself acting out irl.
I say it can be if you're imagining yourself with someone and it feels right to you. Or if you feel aroused thinking of a specific gender. But only we can know what our true sexuality is.
