bringing kids up gender neutral?

If I ever have kids and I do want them, I would like to raise them gender neutral, though I haven't the faintest idea how to do so.
Imo we shouldn't force children into boxes and let them define themselves as much as possible.
Having read stories of transgender people who had been raised cisgendered all their life and how much it has hurt them, I wouldn't want any child to endure that, much less my own.

 

I'll just let my children decide what they want, if they want to wear dresses or dungarees and play with trucks or barbies they can do either, they're just gender sterotypes put on children at a young age to teach children there's things they can and can't do.
If a boy does something bad "boys will be boys" If a girl does it "It isn't ladylike"

 

Typed it for me. ^.^

 

Well, I never want to have kids but in a hypothetical situation I'd be pretty laid back about most things and let them make their own choices, gender roles included.

 

I heard about a family who refused to release the child's gender. I wouldn't do that, simply because it would be likely to cause the child pain in later life. If gender in society as a whole were eliminated, that would be a different matter. What I would do is not give them stereotyped toys, introduce a nice range of potential interests, and let them choose their own path in life. Gender isn't about to be eliminated in society, but there's no point reinforcing it either. And if the kid turned out to be trans, non-binary, or just wanting to cross dress, that's fine.

Not that I want kids.

 

I feel bringing up a child gender neutral will just lead to more complication for that child in later life and while there is a case for it allowing a child to act how they want without having to adhere to stereotypes I feel it's a bit extreme to raise them completely gender neutral.

 

Well, being completely gender-neutral is also a choice, and not one I'd force on a child. I believe the best thing a parent can do is to encourage their child to be themselves. If a girl wants to be a girly-girl, let her be a girly-girl. If she wants to be a boy, let her be a boy, or a manly-girl, or something in-between. Same with boys.

Kids find all kinds of obscure reasons to torture and bully each other, usually over things that are hard to change, so I feel it's better to teach kids how to deal with it instead of simply teaching them to conform.

In other words ... if my son really wanted to wear a frilly dress to school, I might warn him that there might be consequences (depending on his age) ... but otherwise tell him to go for it and hold his head up high. Chances are, if he's going to be bullied, it will happen whether he wears the dress or not ... and maybe encouraging him to stand up and be himself will help him maintain his self-esteem despite the teasing, instead of making him think that there's something wrong with him.

 

I typed out a long post and then scrolled up and saw this said exactly what I was saying

So I agree with this 100%

 

I wouldn't. I don't see the point in complicating my child's life, unless he/she specifically feels gender-neutral, in which case I wouldn't stop them from expressing themselves.

 

To add to my previous thoughts, I'd like to say that one of the more important things in raising a child, gender-wise, is to avoid passing on any hint of the biases and stereotypes that we have, and can't always eradicate, even though we know they're wrong. Never ever tell your child that cooking and cleaning is for girls, that being a doctor is for boys, and so on, and it will go some way towards eradicating these notions from society as a whole.

 

I'm still for it. It's really exactly what people in this thread say what they'd do. Perhaps we'll find even more types of males, females, and gender-neutral people. Who knows? That's probably just wishful thinking from me, though.

 

If I have a boy, he's getting nerf guns.
If I have a girl, she's getting nerf guns.

Both are obligated to play with me with nerf guns.

That is final.

 

Taking the "Nerf or Nothing" slogan seriously eh? :lol:

To me, if we want to alter the idea of gender in society, the children are going to be the first. I would try to raise mine with an understanding of their sex, but leave the gender parts alone as much as possible. Splitting the two concepts is an important step.

And yeah, let them focus where they want in terms of toys and activities. Easier to nurture what is there, than planting seeds of what may not be.

 

#parentoftheyear


I wasn't brought up gender-neutral, but if I wanted something, my parents never told me I couldn't have it because it was for boys; and actually I had plenty of my brothers' handmedowns.

Any pressure I felt to fit into stereotypes came from me, cuz I knew it was "weird" not to conform.

 

Second this as well.

---------- Post added 29th Aug 2014 at 04:26 PM ----------

I think we need to distinguish between denying/hiding what the physical characteristics of a child are and preventing a child from doing/dressing/etc how it wants, regardless of gender stereotypes.

 

I have 2 children and I just try to raise them to be good and smart people. The rest us up to them.

Happy days

 

And none of those lame pink colored crossbows! (Unless that is what he/she genuinely wants, of course).

Don't forget Legos! The ultimate gender neutral creativity building block toy

 

WHAT? Legos aren't JUST for boys? Next, you'll tell me that men AND women drive minivans!

Also, the crossbows they have are pretty high in accuracy (and I think power, as well). They're a pretty powerful nerf weapon.

 

I don't want children at all, but I do believe kids should be brought up gender neutral. Never told that "this is for boys" and "this is for girls"

I'm a trans guy, and I played with dolls as a kid. Not even gonna lie. 'Course I played with "boys toys" too. But also some "girl's toys"

Really, toys and clothes and such things should not be given a gender. Let the kid like what they want to.