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Unavoidable awkwardness approaching

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MessieM, Aug 29, 2014.

  1. MessieM

    Regular Member

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    Hi, I'm really sorry but I didn't know which section to post this in, and I haven't actually been on empty closets if a while for varying reasons but I literally don't know where else to turn. If you reply to this you are awesome.

    Basically, so the story is long and painful but just bear with me. If you don't want to read all this just skip down to the paragraph that starts in all caps.

    So while I was struggling with the acceptance of my sexuality my male best friend asked me if I wanted to go out with him. I said no because a) didn't know if I was attracted to males b) didn't want to date anyway and c) definitely not attracted to him. While it was weird and awkward I expected things to turn back to normal. It didn't. Mainly because he professed his love to me and to everyone else, which meant that everyone I knew wanted us to be together and I felt very pressured. So I convinced myself that I should give "us" a go. Well... it wasn't for me, which only made the situation worse. So he was heart broken (from his mouth not mine) and of course it made our friendship very strained.

    A few months later he decided to once again ask me to be his girlfriend. I said "No, I'm sorry, it just can't happen.", but he kept asking me why. I had been going through an internal struggle because I'd told my female best friends about my sexuality confusement but not him, and i just thought it isn't fair he has to know. So I just said, in the most choked and scared way imaginable "Umm, I think I might be... gay."

    In which his first response was "Oh... but you're so pretty." Yeah I wanted to punch him.

    Not only that but afterwards (l am cringing so badly right now) he got out his phone and started showing me pictures of him topless as if that would somehow win me round.

    I haven't seen him for about two months, again for varying reasons, but he wants to meet up tomorrow, and I already have put him off once.

    OK, THE POINT IS, HOW CAN you make the meeting of someone who you came out to awhile ago (and was kind of assholey about it but is still kind of your friend) and haven't seen for awhile less awkward? I mean, shall I be like "Hey, I like girls, I'm totally being myself around you and I don't care" or shall I just not raise the issue and just enjoy spending time with him?

    I know it's going to be awkward no matter what, and I have to work through it, but any suggestions of how i can make it less tense (bearing in mind this is a guy who apparently according to our other friends "Is still not over me")?

    Thank you for reading. Any answer no matter what will be useful :icon_bigg
     
  2. Kai LD

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    Gosh this is awkward. Um if you don't want to cut off contact with him you might have to keep 'breaking his heart'. He had better get over it though if he wants to stay your friend. Hope someone can give more useful input. Thanks for sharing.
     
  3. love dont judge

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    If you still want to be friends, you will have to keep telling him no, and make sure he understands that you arent into him. as to how to make it less, awkward, u could leave the subject alone, unless he brings it up. im probably not much help, as i am in a similar situation as the guy that is bugging you, but i have understood and backed off. if he doesnt back off after a while, i would probably cut ties with him. it is going to be awkward, as you guys have dated and then broke up, and that is almost always awkward after that, but u should be able to get rid of the awkwardness after a while. just be yourself. that tends to relieve the awkwardness a bit.