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Interesting thoughts on parents who disown their gay kids

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Chip, Aug 30, 2014.

  1. Chip

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    So I came across this blog article by L. C. Barlow, who is the author of the fiction book "Pivot."

    Here's part of the blog entry:


    It's an interesting take on the situation, basically taking away the religious shield that these bigots use to hide behind, and largely turning the typical argument on its head.

    I like it :slight_smile:
     
  2. Tai

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    That's very interesting. I'd never thought of it that way. I feel for many homophobes it's a chain reaction; from "My God says I should despise these people" to "My God knows best, therefore I will despise these people gladly, and I will do so for/to agree with God." But I do believe there are some out there who want to love their children, yet their God takes higher priorities.
     
  3. QueerTransEnby

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    My parents did not disown me, but they have said flat out that they do not accept "my lifestyle". The problem lies in that they view it as a choice, especially because I'm bi. The Bible is taken at "face value". The problem is that they fail to properly analyze it. If these books in New Testament were truly letters to churches, then I would argue it was confronting their own shortcomings. As has been mentioned on this site many times, committed homosexual relationship did not exist during that time. It was about slave boys and male prostitution as well as abuse of power. It does not mean the Bible doesn't hold absolute truths, but every book needs to be dissected and read differently due to the audiences each sought.
     
  4. burg

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    when i hear people say god says etc im always reminded of that song your own personal jesus.
    i do believe theists believe they talk to god etc but ultimately they talk to themselves. there is no difference in what they say god believes and what they personally believe .its a narcissistic high of feeling right avoiding any feelings of vulnerability that come with being open to the possibility of being wrong.god is a extension of themselves why do you think worship is so important in religion? do they think it gives god energy or something?god is a extension of our own ego.

    a great irony is the feeling of being wrong is more often the moment we are first right about something . its kinda sad humans have got so skilled at avoiding that feeling.
     
  5. AKTodd

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    In my experience, most 'believers' use their religion as a combination of justification for whatever they want to believe or do anyway and a 'get out of jail free' card to absolve themselves of any responsibility for whatever things they may do that are objectionable.

    So, they can do things like look down on a single mother for having sex outside of marriage while simultaneously absolving themselves of any wrongdoing when they have a drunken hookup with someone after going out to a bar one night, and then 'asking God for forgiveness' after the fact. Sometimes they save a step and just say Jesus died for their sins, so they are automatically off the hook before they start. They are, of course, automatically forgiven every time (as far as they are concerned anyway).

    I've also read about some fairly recent research that indicates humans don't so much rationally work out a chain of argument leading to a belief as have an immediate visceral reaction and the 'reverse engineer' a chain of reasoning that justifies the reaction. If this is the case, it would explain a lot about religion and politics both.

    Todd
     
  6. Silver Springs

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    Oh, I have to disagree. I'm probably a bit biased, as a Christian, but I think this deserves a response. I talk to God. A lot. He doesn't always respond, in fact, most of the one he doesn't, but when he dies he most definitely doesn't always agree with a lot of what I do.

    I don't know if this is just me talking to myself, who knows, perhaps it is, but the force I'm communicatin with most definitely isn't me! That is a very definite positive to Catholicism; our God is set in stone, so we do actually know when we've sinned. We can't just pull out our personal God and say what he has told us. Obviously this causes conflict with my sexual orientation, but I'm working that out as I go along!
     
  7. ccdd

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    That is a very interesting distinction to make. I have come across one or two people who have a real problem with their church's stance on homosexuality even if they ultimately accept it. You can see that they struggle. They want to listen to their God (or who they think is their God) but they struggle to understand why their God would not want gay people to have loving relationships. Personally speaking, I have found it much easier to understand and get on with such people than those who don't seem to struggle with 'God's message' (or just say 'love the sinner, hate the sin').

    This is very true. And those I'm able to get on with most struggle with why God says they can't. Even if ultimately they accept what He says or thinks He says, I find it easier to have friendships with such people. - - - Because they're not wanting to condemn.
     
  8. Kate Lee

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    This is one of the reasons I'm hesitating to come out to my parents.

    My mom might fall in the category I desire to like gays (her brother was gay and even though they didn't have a good relationship she does seem to, occassionally, care about gay rights) but my religion forbids me to.

    My father however, well, he probably fits the other category as in I don't (want to) like them and therefore I am oh, so happy that my God doesn't either. He is also a bit racist and sexist which I do call him out on, not that I think it really makes any difference in his opinions. He doesn't like conflict so he agrees a bit with me, but am not so sure if he really does or just says so. I'm guessing the latter.

    As a nice christian 'good' girl I fitted in the first, and now that I am making quite a lot of progress in accepting myself as a lesbian, am glad of that at least. I often felt at the time that gays were singled out as a sin, as there were so many like greed etc. that are never ever really examined much....

    Anyway that really helps me in reading the bible in a different way, and caring less what it says altogether... It is now more about my own opinion (which was never really allowed to begin with) so I can more easily say: I think or desire this as seperate from what I've been spoonfed on... Finally, I might add. It brings such a relief I have to say :slight_smile:
     
  9. ahardlife

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    thanks for posting this chip It does make interesting reading . I can relate to parts with my dad although he`s not religious in any way he just doesn't accept his son as gay it got me down allot not understanding why my dad would be like this:frowning2: we have both done -said stupid things but at the end of the day he's my dad . never going to accept me as gay .
     
  10. Candace

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    See, this is exactly why I'm disliking religion more and more each day. People have their own insecurities, and use God as a scapegoat. No, God doesn't hate gay people, you do -_-.
     
  11. One Man Army

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    This.

    So many parts of the Bible (and other religious texts, too) are open to interpretation. You'd think a Holy text that claims to be the inerrant word of god would be more clear, but nope, there are so many contradictory or vague verses that, honestly, it's no wonder that different Christians believe radically different things. All Christians cherry pick which verses to believe in and which ones to ignore, even those who are generally intellectually honest.
     
  12. Chip

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    Just before this thread turns into religion bashing... it's not the religion that's the problem. There are plenty of very LGBT-affirming Christian churches, and certain faiths (Unitarian, many United Methodist, and many Lutheran) are openly supportive. And then you have Matthew Vines, who is a devout Christian and doing more than anyone has in the past 200 years to change the way Christians look at LGBT people through his methodical and meticulous study of the scriptures.

    The problem is small minded people who live in fear of anything they don't know or understand, and who use religion as an excuse... not religion as a whole.
     
  13. burg

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    im probably a bit biased as a atheist. hell i know i am biased in general.
    i know there is good christians and plenty of smart ones who benefit this world far more than i could. so i hope you don't feel personally attacked.

    im not saying you think he agrees with what you do.but that his idea of right and wrong is the same as the person who interacts with him at that moment in time.i have belief it is a simulacrum .as in we interact with our own image of god as if he was the real thing.

    i do hope you get past your conflict with your orientation .i doubt if there is a god he wants you to suffer.if he does then he not a loving god.
     
  14. Hexagon

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    I wonder if the offending homophobes are capable of admitting to themselves that their own desire comes into it, or if they'd simply say they desire to please god.