How did your parents react when you came out of the closet?

My dad sorta found out without me meaning for him to and he essentially told me that it was probably a phase and this got me stressed out. I now avoid him so I don't have to speak about it.

 

Accepted by all but it took my mom a bit to come around...

 

They weren't thrilled. They got over it, or at least they claim to have. Sometimes I don't buy it.

 

My dad doesn't seem to mention it and I doubt he really believes me. My mom said a lot of stuff that seemed jumbled and strange at the time but she loves me and so just rolled with it, more or less.
Wonder what they will say and do with the next thing.

 

not grate mum thought it was a phase nan helped her accept it my dad I knew he would never accept it we dont talk about it now it wont get any better .

 

Only my mom and dad know but they fully accepted me

 

They accepted and never showed any sense of disapproval when I told them. I'm sure there were tears and a few raw feelings after I left and I worked out later that they were a little disappointed, but they always did their best not to show it or hurt me. I was very lucky. Can't say the same for members of the extended family or some so called friends.

 

I marked "Other' on the poll.

My mom took a little time to fully accept it. Every time I mentioned something about being gay, her response was 'Oh' and a moment of pregnant silence before the conversation resumed. At one point early on she mentioned being concerned that being gay could be 'a hard life' and another time she said she went through a period of blaming herself. I was living thousands of miles away when I figured out I was gay and came out to her, so I heard this all second-hand if the conversation went that way.

Being the sort of person I am (meaning the sort of person she raised me to be), I therefore made a point of throwing my homosexuality in her face at every opportunity (Yeah mom, I'm really tired. I met this hot guy last night and just got home an hour ago (it was 3 in the afternoon my time)). I also pointed out that she raised me to give back trouble (with interest) to those who sought to give it to me.

Eventually she came around and now is fully accepting, calls my partner her other son, etc.

After I came out to her, my mom told the rest of the family (with my blessing), with the exception of my dad, my older brother, and an aunt. These exceptions were at her suggestion and everyone else in the family concurred and went along with it.

My dad wouldn't have cared per se, but would have tried to use the information to make my life difficult because he liked to do that to his family. My brother had recently become a born again Christian and written a number of homophobic letters to the local paper, and my aunt (who I hardly ever see) is hyper religious and hyper-conservative (she worked on Pat Robertson's presidential campaign).

My dad is long dead, and I only have contact with my brother and aunt very occasionally. The rest of the family always asks after my partner when I talk to them and wants to know if he'll be coming with me when I visit and such.

Todd

 

My parents were completely cool about it which kind of surprised me. I haven't told my other family members because I have some aunts and uncles who are super judgmental and would probably be like "oh no!"

 

maybe one day i will tell dad....... i mean i cant imagine how he DOESNT know but i could just be self conscious about it all, and he coule be unwilling to see or never even entertained the thought

 

My family is really fine with things--given that they are very religious and live in Utah it took me a little by surprise. I was especially worried about my Dad--and he took it really well. I think he had always felt like there was something that sort of stood there between the two of us preventing us from being close and when I came out you could almost see him thinking--oh, yeah, this is it. this is that thing, well we can deal with that.

I remember once talking with my parents about whether they were still proud of me and I'll always remember their response--"all the things we were already proud of and now we find out that we have raised a child who the whole world can stand up and say you're not alright and you'll never be happy and he stands and just says screw you all I'm amazing just the way I am--you'll see. What on earth isn't to be proud of in that?" They're remarkable people

One of my sisters took a while to really come around. She wasn't awful or anything but you could just tell she thought it was wrong. I'll never forget the conversation where I finally knew she had come around. Once while visiting my parents I had been reading Borrowed Time. It's a memoir by Paul Monette detailing his final years with his partner Roger as Roger succumbed to AIDS. It's absolutely beautiful. Well anyway apparently my sister found it on my bedside table and thumbed through it and was impressed enough that she found it in the library and read it cover to cover and the next time I visited she told me about it. She told me how she had read the book twice and how beautiful it was and how she had just cried and cried. And I said something like, yeah it's really sad how Roger dies. And she said of course it was sad that way but that that wasn't why she cried so much. She cried so much, because these two guys--sharing this thing that she had always been told was wrong and sinful and not really love--obviously loved each other in a way that she had never even known let alone experienced (she had been married twice and had six children at this point). She went on to say that she felt confident that somehow she never would, that she wasn't the sort of person who could feel or elicit love quite like that. When I protested, she talked over me. She just wasn't, but somehow she knew that I was, she wasn't sure how she knew that but she just did and she suspected that part of what had made me that person was in fact the fact that I was gay and that she knew deep in that part of yourself where you know things for a fact that you couldn't possibly know that someone, some man, would love me that way. And she was so happy for me--and so very, very jealous. It was the most beautiful, real moment I've ever had with my sister.

 

well... depends on which parents..? Ive had many.. yay for being moved from family to family -.- note the sarcasm.

but.. ummm.. generally.. lets just say... each time... all hell kinda broke loose... no like.. literally.. the streets crumbled and fire shot up from the cracks while embers of burning fire and ash rained from the sky and everything.

It was intense.

But on a serious note. No one ever took it very well.

 

They all accept me, but I'm not sure they really get it. I haven't explained any gender stuff to them yet, but I would if they actually bothered to ask.

 

This is pretty much what happened to me - my father had gone through my e-mails a few years ago when I'd gone to school and I'd come home to him telling me he'd done it. Now that a few years have passed though, and I've obviously not changed, he is a lot more...he understands it's not a phase and he's dealing with it. He doesn't like it, but he's accepted it.

 

It is nice to see that the majority has been accepted.

Some members of my family accepted me. My brother came out first (not blood) before I did and my uncle (my mother's brother) came out when he was 18 or 19. My mom didn't approve but 'loved' him anyway (However that works).
My sister was excited and happy for me, she was almost just as devastated when I told her what mom said when I came out to her, mother said "Really?? I can't just have ONE sane family member?" My sister is a psychiatry medical doctor so she knew more than anyone that being a homosexual doesn't mean you are insane, this was disproven back in the 70s. But that was my mom then and she totally accepts me now.

 

I was accepted by all of my family, including my Southern Baptist "fire and brimstone" grandparents which surprised me.

 

They were basically like, "I kinda figured, honey". My mom had assumed it from the time I was very young, but didn't want to say anything until I was ready to tell her. My sisters and my dad all basically said the same thing. There wasn't much of a coming out to my family.

 

My parents are still doubting/questioning/not accepting it as part of who I am and consider it a choice. The fact that I'm Christian and my dad is an elder in my old conservative church doesn't help. Mercifully, they didn't disown me or cut me off financially. I live on my own, but I have been unemployed and am dealing with several ailments. My dad's side of the family has been awesome as has my rather liberal Christian brother. Dad was visibly upset when I came out although he didn't say much the day I came out. However, we have gotten into rather heated theological debates in the days following. I've tried to just back off for now. My mom is a little more receptive, but she always comes up with excuses not to watch or read what I've provided for her. She's afraid I will get AIDS.

 

My mother and sister accepted me immediately, they had absolutely no problem with it.
I have seen my father 1 time in around 6 years so not even going to bother here and my grandparents/uncles and such are beyond homophobic so they don't know either.