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What's the point of coming here...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Litveninko, Aug 31, 2014.

  1. Litveninko

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    They name the site "empty closet" hoping for everyone to come out. But there will be tons of people will always be in the closet, including me. I feel worse, I thought if I came here and be with people who are like me and went through the things I ve been would help me, but it didn't. I'm so sick, and useless to live. All the newborn screams, and I'm screaming till now. They grow up and look at their lives in amaze, and I didn't even live a one. I hate the judging people, but it's not in my hands, I was born this way. If I killed myself, the socitey and my family killed me, not I. And I wonder, I only wonder, what it would be like if I were born different than I am now? I wish I was , and I wish the truth would speak for itself..
     
  2. AwesomGaytheist

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    We're a support forum. We don't want you to rush to come out; the site's name is simply an LGBT-themed title, hence its intended audience. Based on what you said in that post, I'd recommend staying on EC as it's clear you're going through some tough times. There may be some judgmental people but that's not the case with all of us.
     
  3. kem

    kem
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    When I registered back in 2010, I felt hopeless at first. I didn't exactly think about killing myself, but I did want to live the rest of my life in the closet.
    It was nice to find a community in which everyone was supportive, but at the same time, it was overwhelming. So many members were completely out of the closet, but I felt like I could never come out because [reason] — I don't even remember what it was anymore. As I spent time here, just talking with other similar people, I became more confident in who and what I was. I've been out to my friends and in general for a long time now.

    How about trying to gain some confidence first? You can rethink coming out once you eel better about yourself. When I first realised that I really was gay and I couldn't not be gay, I was very confused. EC really helped me with that, I'm sure you'll find someone who can relate to your situation. :slight_smile: Don't be afraid to approach the members here.
     
  4. biAnnika

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    Two quotes come to mind.

    The first, in response to your feelings about coming out, is a paraphrase from an EC member's signature: "When the pain of maintaining the status quo exceeds the [perceived] pain of taking action, you will act."

    I threw in "perceived" there, because I think many tend to think coming out will far more painful than it actually turns out to be.

    The other quote, addressing your question about "why come here?", is from Bertrand Russell: "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." If you enjoy coming here, whether or not you get the kind of support you feel you want or need, that alone justifies your presence here. If you hate it here, or find us distasteful, or whatever AND feel you're not getting useful support, then yeah, stop wasting your time. But otherwise, go easy on yourself about the pace of your self-acceptance process.
     
  5. CornerSign

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    It sounds like you've had a harder time than most, at least a lot harder than me. Yeah not everyone here is in the same situation you are, but people will try to help you here, or so I've found during my very short time here :wink:. Just having a place where you can freely say you're gay, or bisexual or trans or whatever, and have no one even blink an eye is a huge relief for me. You and I are the same age, so I can at least relate to that. We're still not adults. Our lives have barely started. I live with a borderline homophobic mother, but it's not the end of the world because in a year I can just leave. I can go find better people, better friends. Obviously I don't know exactly what your situation is, so I'm sorry if I'm being ignorant here, but just remember that there will always be people in this world that will accept and love you, and you still have you're whole life to go find them.
     
  6. C06122014

    C06122014 Guest

    I came out, to my family, after five days on the site :slight_smile:

    Maybe we can help you :slight_smile: here. That's what we're here for, to help and support you so that you can come out to those you feel deserve to know :slight_smile:
     
  7. Michael

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    I'm beginning to think there is two closets you can "come out" from : The first closet is your own closet. If you accept yourself as you really are or not. When you accept yourself, you come out from your own closet. Think about what this means.

    The second closet is when you come out for the rest of people. You can't say you'll never do it, because today is not tomorrow. People change their minds. They won't change because they are on a forum, but sure to read what others think would eventually give you a different perspective.

    You don't need a forum for that, you can find other's thoughts reflected on books. but you get the idea.

    I've just arrived, and I'm not sure how my story will end, all I know is that "a little bit is better than nothing" ... You have people here that went through similar life-experiences, so you have their perspective.
    You can't expect than by just reading their words, your life will magically change... Or by reading all the library's books on the subject...

    I believe it is much more important to come out from the first closet than from the second. If you accept yourself as you really are... Then you end up loving yourself. If you love yourself, nothing will stand in your way!
     
  8. HM03

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    When I signed up a year ago, I felt much the same way. I felt that some people were just born with courage, and were fearless about living their life for them. And for me, I would never be me because I didn't have much courage, and cared too much about what other people thought. I was even scared to talk to people because I didn't want to seem gay.

    Obviously there isn't a magical solution. But EC's helped me gain courage to be myself. Sure coming out to only two people over a years time, isn't many, but it's definitely a big improvement from the guy who once thought it would be easier to lie his whole life.

    So, make yourself at home, play forum games, ask and try to answer question, message people and hopefully you'll feel better about it with time :slight_smile:
     
  9. Litveninko

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    I accept myself, sometimes. I live with unsemiphobic people. I mean everything different for them, they hate it.
     
  10. SeaSalt

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    I cant speak for everyone else but I come here to be myself, my True self. I am sort of out of the closet to parents who would rather not think about it and friends who treat the whole thing like a joke. Around them I cant talk about things like which boys are hot and I certainly cant talk about sex! When I first came here one of the first things I did was post in the Cute or Not thread and the simple act of being able to say that I thought another guy was cute made me so happy it was unreal. That is why I come here, That is what EC is for me.
     
  11. Michael

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    You accept yourself all the time. It's that you have doubts sometimes. Acceptance is a permanent state, the doubts come and go... Unless they doubts come and go so frequently that you are not sure anymore that you really accept yourself, then it is that you don't accept yourself.

    That they hate it is their problem, not yours... What do you expect after all the years of brainwash and conditioning? That they accept it would be strange...
     
  12. Litveninko

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    they arent frequent, just when im like shit. I don't Imagine them accepting me, and I ll stay here.
     
  13. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    Hey, I suppose the point of coming here is that we will support you for as long as you stay here. Coming out is a difficult thing for everyone, but it can be more complicated for some people than others.
     
  14. Candace

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    It's a support forum and a free place of refuge for one to discuss their problems that are relevant to coming out, finding their sexual identity, and all the latter. It helps people come out of the closet, which would then make it "empty", so to speak.
     
  15. Kai LD

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    Why come here? I don't know about other people but I have felt free enough here to show more of my real personality then I might ever have, to anyone, before.
    I often feel like I am lying for no reason around even my most intimate friends because of how I hold back.