Am I the only one. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

hairdye · 13th Sep 2008, 10:20 PM

I'm just wondering, am I the only one who is totally turned off by relationships?
I mean, I've tried them and they're just so draining. I'm pretty sure theres plenty of other sane people out there who realize the tediousness of relationships. But I want to hear them say it. ;x

xXxNealxXx · 13th Sep 2008, 10:27 PM

ok i think u cant really have some onr unless ur in a realationship withthem

hairdye · 13th Sep 2008, 10:30 PM

umm, define "have"? ;x

raizen · 13th Sep 2008, 10:33 PM

hmm dont take offense to this but i think that thats an aweful cinical veiw on relationships it almost sounds like you havent had a true one...or am i wrong?

13th Sep 2008, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairdye

I'm just wondering, am I the only one who is totally turned off by relationships?
I mean, I've tried them and they're just so draining. I'm pretty sure theres plenty of other sane people out there who realize the tediousness of relationships. But I want to hear them say it. ;x

I completely 100% agree with you. Relationships are so tedious, so draining, so much work and energy and I don't think it's worth it at all. I guess I could, in theory, go out with someone but I don't know how much time and energy I'd be willing to put into it.

hairdye · 13th Sep 2008, 10:40 PM

you're wrong. i had one.
two really. but i cut two when i realized how awful they were.
am i wrong with anything I say? Do you not drain yourself to make the other person happy at times? Do you not make sacrifices for them? Do you not spend money on them? Do you not give your everything, only to end up with someone being hurt at the end?

I mean, sure there are some that live "Happily ever after". But why even bother unless you're sure you can spend the rest of your life with a person? I see no reason.

hairdye · 13th Sep 2008, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnight Angel

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairdye

I'm just wondering, am I the only one who is totally turned off by relationships?
I mean, I've tried them and they're just so draining. I'm pretty sure theres plenty of other sane people out there who realize the tediousness of relationships. But I want to hear them say it. ;x

I completely 100% agree with you. Relationships are so tedious, so draining, so much work and energy and I don't think it's worth it at all. I guess I could, in theory, go out with someone but I don't know how much time and energy I'd be willing to put into it.

Praise Madonna.
I'm not the only sane one.

Vector · 14th Sep 2008, 02:55 AM

No reward comes without sacrifice.

BeautifulStranger · 14th Sep 2008, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairdye

I'm just wondering, am I the only one who is totally turned off by relationships?
I mean, I've tried them and they're just so draining. I'm pretty sure theres plenty of other sane people out there who realize the tediousness of relationships. But I want to hear them say it. ;x

I was just like that and when I finally decided that relationships weren't for me, I met the love of my life...
And I will admit it is tedious. Incredibly tedious and exhausting. We fight so often, he has plenty of habits that bug me, I want to change so much about him... but at the same time, everything about him is perfect and I wouldn't give him up for the world. And as much work as it is, I've learned so much about myself from this.
I think a relationship with the right person is the most rewarding thing in the world.

**Owen** · 14th Sep 2008, 04:51 AM

The idea of a relationship itself turns me off, but when you are with the right guy, the tedium goes away. Sorry, but because I am in a good relationship now, I have to disagree with you.

hairdye · 14th Sep 2008, 02:37 PM

Of course those in a relationship disagree.
Nobody stands back and looks at it, until you're stuck.
Although TD seems to be able to do it and I understand where he's coming from.

But finding the person like that, doesn't happen everyday.
and maybe when that happens a relationships fine.
but other than that-- they're hell.

EmperorNero · 14th Sep 2008, 02:47 PM

I love relationships. I'm not in one now, and I can see why you dislike them. But falling asleep in someones arms, for example, is one of the most wondrous things I've ever experienced.

14th Sep 2008, 02:48 PM

A relationship shouldn't drain u, u shouldget out as much as u put in and enjoy everything about them, I am in a relationship atm so i understand if ur cinical of my view. If ur being drained by the relationship then something about it's wrong, I used toagree with u on my last relationship where i was putting everything in and getting nothing out but my current one is completely different. I get out of it everything i put in and the only bad part is not being with my bf, god thatmakes me sound like a love sick puppy but i cant think how else 2 put it lol

partietraumatic · 14th Sep 2008, 02:59 PM

this is all quite depressing really. a relationship is wonderful,its a great feeling to have somebody there. yes it takes work, but its worth it. i would say if you felt it was an effort then you shouldnt have been with the people anyway. it should be a pleasure to be with that person and you should feel like you want to do everything for them. yes i got hurt at the end of my last relationship but that wont put me off another. and i would do it all over again if i could, becuase those times when youre with somebody,and somebody you really wanna be with, its truely wonderful and one of the best feelings i know

gentlegiant4 · 14th Sep 2008, 06:19 PM

Never been in one, and not looking. Also not interested in relations without being in a relationship (hence I plan to be single and virginal forever).

I just don't need anybody else. I don't know how that makes me come across, but whatevs.

Behling · 14th Sep 2008, 06:29 PM

If your relationship is tedious, draining, a ton of work and takes too much energy then its clearly a bad relationship @_@
Not all relationships are like that at all.

jazzrawr · 14th Sep 2008, 06:38 PM

Well, yes, relationships can be draining.
But love is a big thing, and you have to work for it.
Of course, that's just my opinion.
Relationships aren't for everyone.

I like them, though...it's nice to have someone who really cares about you.

14th Sep 2008, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gentlegiant4

I just don't need anybody else. I don't know how that makes me come across, but whatevs.

Exactly. I'm not looking and I don't really need anyone. It'd be more of a secondary thing. If I accomplished everything else I wanted to then maybe there would be room.

Geist · 14th Sep 2008, 07:28 PM

Okay I have had a god awful relationship where the other person did nothing but take and take and it was a hell of a lot of work on my part and then I was used before I was dumped, so I can understand your dislike of relationships. But personally I don't think you have been in a good relationship if your view is so cynical. Now I know relationships aren't for everyone but I have been in a great relationship where it was giving on both sides and we made each other very happy and we were perfect for each other well almost. Unfortunately it was a girl so when it came to actual relations we fell apart. It did however give me a look at what a relationship can be like and through the tough times has kept my faith in relationships.

I can't say if relationships are for you. But I know for damn sure they are for me. I have tried having relations without a relationship and I couldn't bring myself to it I was totally turned off and wanted nothing to do with it and left before anything really happened.

Are relationships hard you bet your ass they are but are they worth it yes they are. Well that is of course if the other person is willing to sacrifice as much as you are for them. You have to be willing to put your chips on the table and take risks if you hope to find true happiness.

View Poll Results: Relationships?
I believe in relations, no ships for me. ;]	4	10.00%
They're tedious, but I can put up with them.	2	5.00%
If they happen, they happen.	26	65.00%
I just love being with somebody who will eventually break my heart! <3	8	20.00%
Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

13th Sep 2008, 10:20 PM	#1
hairdye ec's coffee addict Full Member Gender: I'm a dude. Orientation: I like guys. Out Status: everybody knows. Location: Orange County, CA Age: 22 Posts: 247 Join Date: Apr 2007	Am I the only one. I'm just wondering, am I the only one who is totally turned off by relationships? I mean, I've tried them and they're just so draining. I'm pretty sure theres plenty of other sane people out there who realize the tediousness of relationships. But I want to hear them say it. ;x __________________

13th Sep 2008, 10:27 PM	#2
xXxNealxXx Full of I dont know and maybes Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual (leanin more towards guys though) Out Status: Not out at all Location: A town where you get beat up for ur Imperfections Age: 19 Posts: 22 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Am I the only one. ok i think u cant really have some onr unless ur in a realationship withthem

13th Sep 2008, 10:30 PM	#3
hairdye ec's coffee addict Full Member Gender: I'm a dude. Orientation: I like guys. Out Status: everybody knows. Location: Orange County, CA Age: 22 Posts: 247 Join Date: Apr 2007	Re: Am I the only one. umm, define "have"? ;x __________________

13th Sep 2008, 10:33 PM	#4
raizen Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Posts: 21 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Am I the only one. hmm dont take offense to this but i think that thats an aweful cinical veiw on relationships it almost sounds like you havent had a true one...or am i wrong?

13th Sep 2008, 10:40 PM	#6
hairdye ec's coffee addict Full Member Gender: I'm a dude. Orientation: I like guys. Out Status: everybody knows. Location: Orange County, CA Age: 22 Posts: 247 Join Date: Apr 2007	Re: Am I the only one. you're wrong. i had one. two really. but i cut two when i realized how awful they were. am i wrong with anything I say? Do you not drain yourself to make the other person happy at times? Do you not make sacrifices for them? Do you not spend money on them? Do you not give your everything, only to end up with someone being hurt at the end? I mean, sure there are some that live "Happily ever after". But why even bother unless you're sure you can spend the rest of your life with a person? I see no reason. __________________

14th Sep 2008, 02:55 AM	#8
Vector Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Family, Friends, and anyone that asks Location: Bendigo, VIC - Australia Age: 23 Posts: 122 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Am I the only one. No reward comes without sacrifice.

14th Sep 2008, 04:51 AM	#10
Owen Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult EC Admin Gender: Agendered dude Orientation: Panromantic androsexual Out Status: Everyone and their mother Location: Massachusetts, USA Age: 21 Posts: 2,869 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: Am I the only one. The idea of a relationship itself turns me off, but when you are with the right guy, the tedium goes away. Sorry, but because I am in a good relationship now, I have to disagree with you. __________________ "Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza." -Daria Morgendorffer

14th Sep 2008, 02:37 PM	#11
hairdye ec's coffee addict Full Member Gender: I'm a dude. Orientation: I like guys. Out Status: everybody knows. Location: Orange County, CA Age: 22 Posts: 247 Join Date: Apr 2007	Re: Am I the only one. Of course those in a relationship disagree. Nobody stands back and looks at it, until you're stuck. Although TD seems to be able to do it and I understand where he's coming from. But finding the person like that, doesn't happen everyday. and maybe when that happens a relationships fine. but other than that-- they're hell. __________________

14th Sep 2008, 02:47 PM	#12
EmperorNero Lost in insanity Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: -sexual Out Status: Mostly everyone Location: Sweden Age: 22 Posts: 239 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Am I the only one. I love relationships. I'm not in one now, and I can see why you dislike them. But falling asleep in someones arms, for example, is one of the most wondrous things I've ever experienced. __________________ Why bother being straight/gay/lesbian/bisexual/whatever? Just fuck the ones who turn you on and marry the one(s) you love. It doesn't have to be this hard.

14th Sep 2008, 02:48 PM	#13
JWAD Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Am I the only one. A relationship shouldn't drain u, u shouldget out as much as u put in and enjoy everything about them, I am in a relationship atm so i understand if ur cinical of my view. If ur being drained by the relationship then something about it's wrong, I used toagree with u on my last relationship where i was putting everything in and getting nothing out but my current one is completely different. I get out of it everything i put in and the only bad part is not being with my bf, god thatmakes me sound like a love sick puppy but i cant think how else 2 put it lol

14th Sep 2008, 02:59 PM	#14
partietraumatic A gay heteropolitan? Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: Enough for now Location: Oxford and Birmingham, UK Age: 20 Posts: 1,300 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Am I the only one. this is all quite depressing really. a relationship is wonderful,its a great feeling to have somebody there. yes it takes work, but its worth it. i would say if you felt it was an effort then you shouldnt have been with the people anyway. it should be a pleasure to be with that person and you should feel like you want to do everything for them. yes i got hurt at the end of my last relationship but that wont put me off another. and i would do it all over again if i could, becuase those times when youre with somebody,and somebody you really wanna be with, its truely wonderful and one of the best feelings i know __________________ 'Im not your toy and this isn't another girl meets boy'

14th Sep 2008, 06:19 PM	#15
gentlegiant4 Well Known Regular Member Gender: XY Orientation: i like d00dz Out Status: Out to everyone Location: az Posts: 163 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Am I the only one. Never been in one, and not looking. Also not interested in relations without being in a relationship (hence I plan to be single and virginal forever). I just don't need anybody else. I don't know how that makes me come across, but whatevs. __________________

14th Sep 2008, 06:29 PM	#16
Behling ^_^ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Illinois, just outside of Chicago Age: 19 Posts: 1,898 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Am I the only one. If your relationship is tedious, draining, a ton of work and takes too much energy then its clearly a bad relationship @_@ Not all relationships are like that at all. __________________ "Your words are infectious Your eyes leave me breathless I think it's safe to say You're deadly in your own way"

14th Sep 2008, 06:38 PM	#17
jazzrawr Lover of Loony Lovegood Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesimbean Out Status: I scream it from rooftops Location: Ontario, Canada. Age: 19 Posts: 3,391 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: Am I the only one. Well, yes, relationships can be draining. But love is a big thing, and you have to work for it. Of course, that's just my opinion. Relationships aren't for everyone. I like them, though...it's nice to have someone who really cares about you. __________________ <3 You can love people so much... But you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. (...and the lesbians.)

14th Sep 2008, 07:28 PM	#19
Geist EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but distant family Location: Spokane WA United States Age: 21 Posts: 334 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Am I the only one. Okay I have had a god awful relationship where the other person did nothing but take and take and it was a hell of a lot of work on my part and then I was used before I was dumped, so I can understand your dislike of relationships. But personally I don't think you have been in a good relationship if your view is so cynical. Now I know relationships aren't for everyone but I have been in a great relationship where it was giving on both sides and we made each other very happy and we were perfect for each other well almost. Unfortunately it was a girl so when it came to actual relations we fell apart. It did however give me a look at what a relationship can be like and through the tough times has kept my faith in relationships. I can't say if relationships are for you. But I know for damn sure they are for me. I have tried having relations without a relationship and I couldn't bring myself to it I was totally turned off and wanted nothing to do with it and left before anything really happened. Are relationships hard you bet your ass they are but are they worth it yes they are. Well that is of course if the other person is willing to sacrifice as much as you are for them. You have to be willing to put your chips on the table and take risks if you hope to find true happiness. __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]