How permissible you will be with your child?

Elaborate.
In what ways? Will I let them smoke, skip school, etc.? What?

I'll be reasonable with them.

 

I'll give them enough freedom to be themselves but I'll bring them up to know what's right and wrong and hope that they'll make the right decisions. You can't be there for your child all the time and they need to be able to make good choices independently.

 

I would try to give them a healthy balance and use common sense. Most of my rules would revolve around teaching them to think about their actions and consequences, how to treat people and be an ethical human being. I would not want to be restrictive in a way that creates issues later in life, however, and would certainly not want them to ever feel judged (and I believe that growing up gay in a less accepting environment myself will give me an advantage and unique perspective in certain domains of parenting, should I become a parent). And something very important to me would be to not raise them up in a religious environment (or where they feel pressured to participate in a religion) but rather one of logic; certainly, I want them to know about all the different religions and all that various cultures and history has to teach us, I would just not want to indoctrinate them.

 

My mother taught me things as expected but as freedom freedom, I had freedom to do whatever I wanted (not as drugs and stuff, but skipping school sometimes and similar) and I wish I didn't have that freedom, it really did NOT help me.

 

I would give my kids rules, but nothing too constricting. I don't want to be a helicopter parent. I would probably be like Olive's parents from Easy A

 

I too aspire to be like Olive's parents one day. ^_^

---------- Post added 2nd Sep 2014 at 01:10 PM ----------

 

I won't have a child. But as for what I think about how children should be raised, I think you should teach them morality and logic, and let them figure out the world. Watch out for them, but don't try to control them (unless they're getting themselves into trouble they can't get out of).

 

No mercy!!!

 

Well, it will never happen, but.. I'd be reasonable and accepting and they would enjoy a good amount of freedom, but there would be clear limits. Cross the line without good reason and there would be consequences. It's all about balance, I think.

 

I'd give them freedom to do what they wanted, to a degree. Go to movies, go to the park, etc. etc. but they'd have to be back at a certain time. If they can't follow instructions, then privileges get taken away. I want to teach them responsibilities and show them how to take care of themselves one day, when they have a place of their own. So, I expect them to take care of their house. Chores, yes, but not an insane amount (like I grew up with).

 

Give children examples, feed them ideas. Let them absorb the ideas of compassion, being a listener, using empathy and sympathy when dealing with others, and you have a good child. Do not force them into submission if you want them to do what you think is right.

I want to be a parent, and I am well aware that if I do become a father, I won't be a particularly lenient one. I do believe, however, that being somewhat strict doesn't mean that you can't be gentle, caring, and allowing of necessary freedom. High expectations is not unhealthy if you support them along the way.

I would like any children I have to be able to make decisions themselves, but in the knowledge that their parent(s) can back them up and will always provide advice when they need it. And perhaps the knowledge that until they're an adult, poor decisions can and will be rectified by their father(s) if they're bad enough.

I'm not sure if I believe in a reward system of materialism. Love should be unconditional, but you can bet that I'm not going to over-praise (or under-praise) once they've got the maturity to comprehend the reasons behind both criticism and admiration. Thanks to my parents' views, when I was little, material things were surprisingly less important than they are now to me, and I think that simplicity can be maintained in many children.

 

I never want to have kids as I think that the planet is already over-infested with humans as it is but for the sake of the thread I'll imagine what I'd do.

I'd be the complete opposite of my parents' authoritarian style. I'd let them make their own choices and not force them to do things just because it's what I expect from them. Also I'd constantly remind them that being happy is more important than a flashy car or a well paid job.

 

I'm Chinese so we are often about saving face. I would probably let my kid do whatever he/she want as long as they don't embarrass me outside of the house or in front of others and as long as their grades are good. Ill definitely teach them if they want something, they have to earn it. If they want advice ill give it to them once, if they don't take it then they must learn from the consequences of their actions whether it is good or bad. If my kids are becoming spoiled then I will have no problem cutting them off. I'm only 24 right now but I see high schoolers nowadays with no respect to elders and are selfish because they are being handed everything they want and that pisses me off when I see them disrespecting someone older then them out in public

 

No drugs, alcohol or tobacco. I'll try my hardest to get them to stop caring about conformity. I won't let them get tattoos until they are old enough to make decisions they might regret. They will start masturbating eventually, but I'm not going to tell them to stop, because it's not like they will and they don't need the guilt. If they have sex they must use protection even stuff like dental dams that make it stop being fun. I expect them to listen to me when I tell them to do something, because I'm not going to tell them to do anything that won't be helping them.

 

Honestly, I'm a bit of a control freak. I'd probably try to influence what I could right from the beginning (without being forceful of course).

 

I was thinking about this a few days ago.

I'm not certain if and when I would have children, but I would want them to grow up to be open-minded, able to make responsible decisions, and take into account the well-being of others. i don't want them to feel pressured to believe the same things as I do or to be exactly the person I want them to be as long as they achieve the foundation qualities I listed above. I'm not sure exactly how one achieves this; my parents were pretty darn authoritarian in their parenting, but I image it takes a balance of rules and discipline yet leaving them space to make their own choices and mistakes. That is being more of a guide and counselor than dictator.

That said, I would do everything I can to guide them away from certain choices and habits that would likely negatively effect their life (drugs, smoking, unprotected sex, etc.). They don't need to make those mistakes.