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Do you feel you get treated differently...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Radioactive Bi, Sep 5, 2014.

  1. Radioactive Bi

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    Honestly, from your own experience, do you feel that you get treated differently because you are LGBT+. I'm not talking bullying or homophobia/biphobia/transphobic etc. I mean just from regular straight people who don't have any particular distain for us, but still, for some reason approach and treat us differently and look at us differently from hetero people.

    If so, how do they approach and treat you and does it really bother you or do you just let it go?

    Let me know your experiences,

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
    #1 Radioactive Bi, Sep 5, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2014
  2. Higs

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    Haven't been fully out for that long, not even a year, but so far I'm treated exactly the same as I was before.
     
  3. ahardlife

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    got treated very differently from my dad that bothered me allot but I already guessed how dad would be.i just dont discuss my personal life with him now . had a few problems with some I was at school with ended in a few fights .
     
  4. OGS

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    I guess I would say maybe a little bit when I first came out. I'm honestly not sure whether that was a function of it being when I first came out or it being twenty plus years ago. I tend to lean towards thinking it was the latter. Now, though, I don't really feel like I do.
     
  5. DangerAlex

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    I feel like a lot of the different treatment people pick up on originates with themselves. I feel like as long as you act like being with someone of the same sex is no big deal and is as natural as anything else, most people will follow suit. But if you're visibly awkward about it, maybe ashamed or embarrassed or something of the like, people are going to respond to that and pick up on it. So I think a fair amount of the time, the "different treatment" comes from cues people are picking up on and less from personal biases and prejudices. Similar to exploiting perceived weaknesses. This is just based on my own observations though, it could be different for others and I wouldn't say this is a rule by any means.

    When my boyfriend and I started dating, we just went about our business as if being in a same-sex relationship is no different than any other kind of relationship. And really, it's not. But I feel like as a result of being so open and even nonchalant about it, people who have seen us have responded with equal nonchalance. In the year plus that we've been together, we have only once received any sort of reaction that could be interpreted as negative (and that's actually being fairly generous as the incident was a very lane attempt at making us uncomfortable; we actually got a good laugh from it). There have been times when we've gotten attention for being a gay couple out in the open, but barring the one semi-negative incident, it's always positive. "You guys are so adorable" or "You two seen so happy and perfect together." And the positive feedback actually happens fairly often. More often than not though, people just pay us no mind. So I feel like people are more inclined to make it into a big deal if they feel like you're not portraying it as "normal" for want of a better word.

    I hope this makes sense. It's kind of hard to explain.
     
    #5 DangerAlex, Sep 5, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2014
  6. Kaylen

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    I feel like this is a pretty good explanation as a whole. My partner and I are a same-sex couple, but we've always been pretty open about it and sort of just do what makes us happy. We act like any other couple, and usually the worst that happens is we get second looks or the occasional stare.

    I did, however, notice that when I changed my group of friends to a much more blatant group of lgbt+ people who were all very open that some of the jokes changed, or people would be more wary about offending me with things I've never found offensive, and every once in a while I get a nice person trying to politely tell me why men are better.

    I think it's just you get more looks and second looks, and people will be more careful with their words. The best people are the ones that don't suddenly feel the need to censor themselves or those that treat you like its completely normal.
     
  7. MintberryCrunch

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    Sometimes. Most of my friends are straight guys and I know that sometimes they just don't fully see me as "one of the guys". I'm still "the gay guy" and it does bug me sometimes.
     
  8. stocking

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    I'm semi out and not fully ,but I have noticed that one of my closest friends who is a straight woman, is treating me like shit after she found out I'm lesbian . She prefers to hangout with her other friends instead of me, and will cancel things and say Oh I promised so and so to do this . I just think it's best if I just got new friends ,and not bother with her . The worse part is she told me she was going to come to my birthday party, and never showed up . After that she texted me saying she wants to apologize and buy me a gift ,but she hasn't met up to hang out with me and I'm just thinking keep the damn gifts; I don't want it anymore I can see you don't like me anymore since you found out I'm not straight .:icon_sad:
     
  9. jay777

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    Do you think having a real talk or texting might help? Like that you noticed... ?

    Sometimes its preconceived ideas people might have, or triggered fears... which might be alleviated in a talk...

    But its difficult to tell if not asked... or brought forward by a third party...
     
  10. Miles16

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    None whatsoever. It makes me worry that people just forgot I told them or they didn't believe me and then also forgot I told them.
     
  11. ccdd

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    I'm mainly treated the same. There are some differences though:

    Some female friends act like they think I fancy them, or say things like, way after the event, that they had wondered if there was more to the fact that we met for coffee a lot. No there isn't: you're my friend.

    People stop being casually homophobic in front of me (usually). I am not sure if this is because they've realised it's wrong and stupid - now that they've seen a real, live gay - or whether it's because they're waiting until I'm out of the room. This is particularly noticeable at work, so I think that they're worried about getting sued...

    Those are the main things. There are few ones which are specific to particularly people, but these two are the main differences. Otherwise (thankfully) it's the same.
     
  12. C06122014

    C06122014 Guest

    Yes, after some people(girls) beta to assume I was gay I noticed, I have begun to notice that they are nicer to me(were already nice), and laugh at every joke I makeā€¦even when it's like hue stupidest joke ever haha I come up with awful jokes to see if they laugh, and they do! I think it's because they want a trophy gay friend. But I'm not easily bought or rented haha jk give me a hug an we are inseparable haha :slight_smile:
     
  13. asdfghjk

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    yes and that's why i really don't like telling people
     
  14. GreyMalkin

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    I've often felt that people treated me differently, felt uncomfortable with me, avoided talking to me. Until I started questioning my sexuality it always confused me. Did I smell bad? Did I look angry? What was it that was making people avoid me?

    I'm not sure if people were picking up on some 'gay vibes' that I was previously unaware of, but I do feel that people treat me differently for some reason.