Proud to be a shy introvert.

There is nothing wrong with being shy.

However, some "shy" people are not shy at all once you get to know them. I've met quite a few "shy" people and they all turned out to be very funny and understanding.

Cheers,

Quem

 

Yeah, being an extrovert is certainly regarded as being the norm in many Western societies. We're expected to be chatty with other people all the time, and while being friendly and willing to engage people in conversation isn't a bad thing at all, I think that talking for the sole purpose of filling in silences is unnecessary. We shouldn't be scared of silence.

I don't think we should criticise chatty extroverts any more than they should criticise us quieter people. There's a definite role for chatty people - after all, if it wasn't for the chatty, outgoing people in my office, I'd still be quiet and aloof and nobody would know me. But because of the people who have brought me out of my shell, I feel comfortable. And I know I wouldn't have been able to do that on my own, because I'm not good at initiating a conversation and making friends.

So I think I agree with you, essentially. There's a place in the world for chatty, outgoing people as there is for quieter, more introspective people. Both personality types are useful. One isn't better than the other, but unfortunately I feel too much emphasis is placed on being a 'team player,' i.e. being forced to work as a group all the time instead of being allowed to go away and do our own thinking from time to time.

 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being introverted. There's a difference between shyness and introversion, though. I think the most basic way to put it is that shy people feel fear or nervousness in social situations whereas introverted people just prefer to be alone more often without that nervous factor. Of course, there is a lot of overlap between shyness and introversion, especially when you get people telling you that you are socially poor, or too quiet, and that extroversion ideal is placed on you, it can make you self conscious and thus, shy. A little shyness is not a terrible thing. But being extremely shy or socially anxious can be quite inhibiting.

There are benefits to introversion just as there are to extroversion, though, as you said. Introverts tend to think more deeply about things. We tend to be more insightful, careful, and even considerate.

I'd recommend checking out Susan Cain's TED talk, The Power of Introverts:
Susan Cain: The power of introverts | Talk Video | TED.com

If you like that and it strikes a chord with you she's also written a book, "Quiet." I've read it and it expands on a lot of the ideas she touches on in this talk.

 

Oh, awesome

 

"Being shy means you get alone time to work on yourself. It means you think before you do. It means that you get plenty of time to think about your life and decide what it is that you want to do with your life. It means you avoid trouble. "

You can be Extroverted and have that.

But there's nothing wrong with being a Shy Introvert.

 

I'm a shy introvert and my best friend is a extrovert. He knows and understands me so he makes my life so much easier by being that much more out there when there is a social function of some sorts where I have will be meeting new people. But people find introverts much more likable, people who I have met only once have asked my other friends about me and how I am, even though our first meeting would only be a 2 minute conversation.

Being an introvert is the best and I'm proud that I am! It allows me to be alone and my best friend understand when I tell him "I'm not hanging out tonight, I just want to be in my room"

To those who are trying to be an extrovert and denying their own introvert-ness, DON'T. Just embrace it and live with it, its who you are!

 

I disagree. Because I am so shy, I often act reservedly around people. My smiles are often forced and I pick my words very carefully. Because of this people get the impression that I'm stuck up, when the truth is just that I'm terrified of them and that I'll say something wrong. I've been called a stuck-up bitch (or blonde, depending on who it is) as people do not think I like them/want to talk to them because I struggle with the right thing to say. They think that I believe I am above them.

Being shy and introverted sucks. If people are forced to get to know me, then sometimes they realise what I'm like as I start to relax around them. Truthfully, I see few benefits to my shyness.

 

I fall into this category. I don't generally mind, nor prefer either. Sometimes though, one needs time alone and vice versa.

 

It's too bad, this does happen sometimes. Many people who meet me realize I'm painfully shy but others just consider me aloof or standoffish, so I get it.

One thing I'd suggest is perhaps trying to adjust your body language a bit, or even doing something so simple as nodding along with what people are saying. It shows you're being attentive without you having to really say anything. When you pick your words carefully, try to include something kind or encouraging here or there where appropriate. People will pick up on that, especially if you've put the effort in to say something when you usually wouldn't.

I don't really think there's a lot of benefit in shyness other than the fact that perhaps we are more considerate of how we affect other people. Introversion isn't inherently bad though, and the time you spend alone rather than with others can be turned to productive pursuits, be it academic, creative, sports, or whatever you might be interested in.

 

I do think though that society is slowly learning on what being an introvert is. There are films out there that feature characters who are introvert by nature whether it be obvious or in subtly and in fact most talented celebrities are actually introverts.

I would fall to the being a shy introvert as well but what I am trying to workout is my shyness because that's the only thing I can change. But the more people I meet, the better understanding that not all introverts prefer the low-key environment who prefers to read books all day as well as not all extroverts are gregarious because I do know a lot of shy extroverts. My exboyfriend is not an introvert and it's just that he doesn't like people in general and often he's more energised when it comes talking to people.

 

I'm glad to see other shy introverts here... One of my best friends is a shy extrovert, and another is an outgoing extrovert, which has been helpful, sometimes. I am attracted (not necessarily romantically or sexually; just platonically) to the outgoing extroverted type due to me being the polar opposite. I have been coming out of my shell slowly through the years, and I've actually been able to ge to the point where I enjoy hanging out with people I like, rather than dread it. When relatives came over when I was young, I usually shut myself in my room and tried not to let the visitors see me. My highly extroverted mother saw this as rudeness rather than my natural instincts, and she still gets angry at me about it when I shut myself in my room.

When I'm in a situation with a classmate where we are talking to pass time, I always get flustered unless I know them really well because I know I will run out of things to talk about and they will get annoyed and turn to someone else. The only people I feel comfortable being silent with are my family and two friends.

There are advantages and disadvantages to being both introverted or extroverted. I agree with you that it's bad we see extroverts as superior, but that may only be because I am introverted.

 

I was a very shy introvert when I was younger--and have now swung quite far the other way. For me the pivot was coming out--which I suppose may mean I was never really introverted I just wasn't comfortable. But I think it's awesome that you are proud of how you are. I think there is nothing more powerful than understanding and accepting who you are, what makes you happy and how you really want to be.

 

I think OGS has nailed it. Having given it more thought, being comfortable in your own skin makes a big difference.

I didn't used to be entirely comfortable, and used to be introverted instead of neutral.

 

I'm pretty extroverted and social interaction doesn't require effort for me at all - talking to people is incredibly easy. I talk quite a lot, but don't always realise it.

Being shy and being introverted are not necessarily the same thing though. I have introverted friends who can talk to people with no problem at all, but don't really like big social gatherings and enjoy alone time - whereas I prefer being surrounded by people and don't really care for alone time. I think most people in the UK would be considered introverted - it's probably one of the more introverted societies, especially compared to Americans, who have a reputation for being loud and gregarious. Try talking to someone on the bus or train - it just doesn't work (and even though I am pretty extroverted, I hate idle chit-chat - I don't want to know about your personal life - I don't even know you!).

But yeah, you don't need to change who you are.

 

I have come to really like the fact that I'm introvert. I still feel bad sometimes when I cancel plans with friends or when I just disappear for a few days because I need time alone, but my friends seem to understand that or at least don't get angry at me for that, so it's all good.
I still wish I was less shy. I would make things really easier for presentation or schoolwork. I wouldn't be feeling anxious and scare because I have to do a project with someone I have never talk to before >.<

 

I wish I can say the same

 

I'm not the big wreck I was back then but I'm still shy when I'm not in character and quite introverted, can't really put much more together than simple sentences and still have slight hiccups during long sentences. But I wouldn't pick the opposite, it works for others but I think for me being introverted works and I think I would have put my foot in my mouth many times if I was an extrovert, I still haven't quite worked out some issues I have and if I was an extrovert there might be a risk of me talking about them before I figured them out. Pride? I don't know but somewhat thankful.