This has been a topic of discussion for me recently with a couple of people. Upon me coming out to them, the topic of sexuality has been one of lengthly discussion. There seems to be a concensus among those that I've chatted with that women are more "sexually fluid" than men. Is this more or less true? Do you happen to agree or disagree with such notion?
It's hard to say. I think it may be true to an extent, but I also wonder how much of that has to do with social conditioning and programming rather than being an intrinsic nature. For example, women experimenting sexually with other women is condoned, even encouraged, by society and is seen as "cool" and "sexy" by others, especially heterosexual men. Men experimenting, on the other hand, is stigmatized and seen as "gross." Men have to deal with the fear of being labelled gay for life even if it's just a one-time curiosity thing, whereas a woman could even have sex with multiple women and still be considered "straight" and not have her sexuality called into question. I often wonder if society was different and male homosexuality wasn't viewed the way it was, if you'd have more cases of males experimenting and demonstrating fluidity much in the same way that women do. There's also evidence that compared to men, women's sexual arousal patterns tend to differ and that women are also more apt to define their sexuality by romantic or emotional feelings as opposed to who they want to sleep with. For this reason combined with the fact that female bisexuality and homosexuality is so much less stigmatized, I think you have a lot more cases of women who feel they love the person, not the gender.
I don't believe this for one second :dry: Men can be just as fluid they tend to hide , anyone ever heard of blow and go .
I personally disagree with this notion, and I think this is just social conditioning. As Turtlecat said, Female homosexuality is fetishized by straight men, so It's seen as 'hot/cool' to do it to impress them. On a side note, our society is sexist and patriarchal and seems to only count or matter if it involves men. For example, if a straight woman experiments with women she can still be seen straight. If a lesbian experiments with men, she's seen as straight/bi because dick cured her. If a straight man experiments with men, he's gay. If a gay man experiments with women, it doesn't count and he was just closeted. (Although sometimes gay men get the same discrimination as lesbians since gay people are oppressed). Another thing is many straight men in my experience have the same same-sex curiosity, but because It's taboo they don't show it. Look at how many straight men are looking to suck dick on craigslist. Look at all the threads here of gay men talking about their straight friends who hit on them, make sexual jokes with them, talk about wanting to have sex with them, and even actually having sex with them. We just don't notice it otherwise because It's so private and hidden.
I asked a couple of my straight female friends a few months ago why it's weird if a girl has never kissed another girl but if a guy has never kissed another guy it's normal. I think their response was something along the lines of men being manly and macho and experimenting not being normal among guys I don't know I can't completely remember. Anyway, it's bullshit. Women are definitely more likely to be more open about their sexual experimentation with other women, but whether or not it's actually more common for women to be sexually fluid and experimental I don't know. Possibly, but I would say probably not. Because unfortunately we do still live in a time where there is always a baseline of homophobia to that kind of thing and it really isn't 'manly' to want to experiment with kissing another guy and the straight guy that experiments doesn't want to be called gay for kissing another man. Even though the straight woman that experiments won't be called gay for kissing another woman. I don't know, it's dumb if you ask me.
Now it's like a requirement for women to experiment with other women , but I do know a lot of men who identify as straight experiment with other men . One time I was watching a armature porn ,and this straight guy was getting a blow job by another guy and his wife called and he told her he was at the store . I was like is this for real and you could hear her on the phone yelling at him to get home and bring the milk she asked for .
I want to address something , I hear people saying that straight women can sleep with women and not have their sexuality question but being that I spend a lot of time in the straight world . It is dying out fast and I have notice that if a straight woman does show even a little interest in a woman she is seen as bisexual and her sexuality is questioned . It's true that straight women can get away with it but not as much as before very few men now think a woman is still straight if she slept with other women . But the straight woman herself could be in deep denial about it .
To me the fact men are generally hornier than women; more testosterone tells me no. Most straight guys have jacked off or done something sexual with another male, couldn't really say that for straight women.
I think there is a societal generalization that women are more sexually fluid. It is kind of expected that women will make out with other women in clubs now and it is more likely that women will experiment with other women than men do with other men.
I sometimes hate the tired cliche of "straight women experimenting or having sex with other women for fun." Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a little experimentation or curiosity. After all, some people need a little experience before knowing what they really like (while others just know) I think it's more how it's represented by society and in the media... sometimes it just seems to make female homosexuality into this big joke and nothing you do with, or feel for, another female means anything. For an example of what I mean look at that awful book "The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping With Chicks." When I first heard of that book, my initial thought was just "Really? Really?" And also, to echo a bit of what Fallingdown7 said... I don't think it would bother me so much if being able to experiment outside one's usual sexuality and it not necessarily mean anything was an equal experience across the board. But for some reason, it's a privilege enjoyed by straight women and only straight women, where they can constantly have sex with the same sex and still somehow be "straight." Why is this? I feel that it's not because of any sort of real progression in how sexuality is viewed but rather just a byproduct of the stereotypical heterosexual male fantasy, of women sleeping with other women for his pleasure. Overall I get so sick of society's stereotypes and misconceptions about sexuality... Over the years I've come to realize that in order for me to have any real understanding of my feelings and my sexuality, I had to disregard societal conditioning and ingraining which tells me that my attraction to other females "doesn't mean anything." I knew that my feelings and experiences DID mean something to me and that ultimately, it was up to me to realize where I stood on the spectrum.
I have to admit that straight women experimenting has always bothered me, and I felt terrible because there's generally nothing wrong with experimenting. But it bothers me how many do it not because they're curious, but to fit a straight male fantasy. Also, it bothers me that It's unequal. So many straight women do this and It's just seen as casual playing around or still a 'heterosexual' act; but if a lesbian tried to pull this with a man, she's now straight/bi and It's an extremely serious act and milestone/Seen as her real first time even if she's slept with 100 women before. It's sexism.
