One of my long-distance friends came out to me today. I didn't realize it when we were going to school together, but it occurred to me recently that he must be gay. I was just waiting for confirmation. This made me think a bit that many of my lgbt friends weren't out when I first befriended them. Neither was I; in fact I was pretty oblivious to concepts of sexuality through most of high school and the first years of college. Isn't this support for a sort of innate personality or emotional distinction among gay people, that we could still find each other when we didn't even know what we were looking for? Thoughts?
My thought is that you were both subconsciously attracted to guys, also you may have each subconsciously recognized the likelihood that the other was gay, which is probably what brought you together.
I met this guy two years older than me when we worked together at a grocery store, and at the time (about two or three months ago) I thought I was straight. I really felt drawn to him, and I quickly realized I had a crush. He shortly thereafter told me he was gay, but I hadn't even come to terms with or even admitted I was at the very least bisexual so I didn't tell him. We hung out a handful of times, and we got along well, but sadly he lives in another state while he is going to college and he was only up here for the summer working and visiting his parents. In the end, I think he started to like me but pushed me away because he knew he had to leave, or he thought I wasn't gay, or both. My crush on him was ultimately what helped me to grasp that I am gay. He was so sweet and just such a nice guy and he was absolutely drop-dead-gorgeous! I can't stop thinking about him :/
Although it seems to have worked with lesbians too. But I have wondered if a lot of my friendships were actually mutual crushes. Kind of weird to think of things in that manner several years later. There was one case where I was practically dating a guy for a year in 9th grade, and I'm not sure either of us realized what was happening or what we were actually feeling. I didn't at least; I was so deep in denial and sexual repression. That doesn't how ever explain why one of my best friends also turned out to be gay. I had a pretty deep crush on him, but he's told me repeatedly that he doesn't think of me that way.
