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Anyone else hate the term 'girlfriend'?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Fallingdown7, Sep 7, 2014.

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  1. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    And when I say girlfriend, I don't mean in a romantic context describing who you are dating.

    What I mean is straight women who have a best friend and introduce their friend as 'my girlfriend' in a strictly platonic way.

    My mom does this when talking about her closest friend. She'll say 'My girlfriend and I went out to lunch' or 'My girlfriend I did such and such'. My mom doesn't like women that way and is referring to her BFF. It sounds so stupid to me! I don't understand what's wrong with friend or best friend or why she feels the need to express the gender. If a guy called his friend 'boyfriend' it would imply a gay relationship to society.

    When I first came out to my Mom I said the girl I was with was my girlfriend (who she knew personally) and she said 'I know that' (assuming it was strictly platonic). I had to describe actual romantic attraction to her until she understood we were dating based on the term.

    Because of this, my ex-girlfriend (different person, very recent) was referred to as a friend by my grandmother and treated like one because of the terminology my Mom uses.

    It might not be a big deal but I find it frustrating because it feels like my sexuality is being devalued into something platonic due to this term :dry:
     
    #1 Fallingdown7, Sep 7, 2014
  2. asdfghjk

    asdfghjk Guest

    my grandma does it and every single time it always catches me off guard for a nanosecond, doesn't bother me but i think it's something only older people do now because younger people are like "THIS IS MY FRIEND WHO IS A GIRL/BOY *nervous sweat NO HOMO*"
     
    #2 asdfghjk, Sep 7, 2014
  3. YuriBunny

    YuriBunny
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    Yes, it's very confusing and annoying. :dry:
     
    #3 YuriBunny, Sep 7, 2014
  4. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I agree It's something older people mainly only do these days due to the fact that younger crowds might see it in a lesbian way (which is good). I mainly find it annoying since it makes it harder for family members (or whoever I'm dating's family members) to take us seriously.
     
    #4 Fallingdown7, Sep 7, 2014
  5. LadyRedRover

    LadyRedRover
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    I always found that term odd, even before I realized I was a lesbian. I wonder how it got started??
     
    #5 LadyRedRover, Sep 7, 2014
  6. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    I've never understood it myself. My female friends aren't my girlfriends, they are my friends, and their gender doesn't particularly matter in most conversations.
     
    #6 Wuggums47, Sep 7, 2014
  7. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    Yeah, it drives me nuts. When I was younger, it made me think there were a lot more lesbians in my life than there were...
     
    #7 drwinchester, Sep 7, 2014
  8. CoyoteCalling

    CoyoteCalling
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    Yes, I hate it for the reasons already mentioned- I don't want to have to specify that my relationship is romantic.

    Frankly, I don't even like "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" for romantic relationships once you're beyond high school age. "This is my mother's boyfriend." He's almost 70 years old - he's not a "boy" anything! I wish "lover" didn't carry a connotation of being illicit. It can be used for any gender and there's no question that the relationship is romantic and/or sexual.
     
    #8 CoyoteCalling, Sep 7, 2014
  9. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    I don't like the fact that girlfriend can be mistaken for female friend , I like the word but it annoys me that it because I'm a woman the woman I'm dating will be mistaken for my friend. Sometimes I think it's best to just say she's my lover . or she's my baby or something like that sometimes I would say she's my Boo .
     
    #9 stocking, Sep 7, 2014
  10. iHateThinking

    iHateThinking
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    I don't hate it, but it is definitely annoying and gets very confusing sometimes, especially if it's a younger crowd. Older folks, well, I dunno. I'm sure it got me as a kid.

    I just try to dismiss it as best I can, I guess knowing that a decent portion (?) of girls refer to their female friends as girlfriends.
     
    #10 iHateThinking, Sep 7, 2014
  11. Nychthemeron

    Nychthemeron
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    Hate, no. Extremely irritated, yes.

    My family friend uses this all the damn time and I get confused as fuck. Pile that with the fact that she doesn't support the LGBT+ community and you get really frustrated.

    I don't know. I don't go around telling people to stop, though. It's a double standard, I guess. :shrug:
     
    #11 Nychthemeron, Sep 7, 2014
  12. gravechild

    gravechild
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    "Girlfriend" tends to be used by queer men around one another as a term of endearment, and a way to subvert gender norms. Sort of like how certain terms are off-limits to outsiders, but okay for those within a minority group to use. I'm not sure where it came from, probably straight women using it.

    It does seem like a huge double standards, because can you imagine what would happen if some dude said, "My boyfriend and I went out to the movies last night"?

    I'm also curious as to how it started.
     
    #12 gravechild, Sep 7, 2014
  13. Nychthemeron

    Nychthemeron
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    I know Wikipedia isn't too reliable, but:

    apparently
     
    #13 Nychthemeron, Sep 7, 2014
  14. Nekoko

    Nekoko
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    Yeah... Its really confusing, drives me nuts too.. ~.~ I mean you don't hear boys running around calling their male friends "Boyfriend" though that's probably because homophobia is stronger in male circles...(in my experience anyway) But still, its annoying...:dry:
     
    #14 Nekoko, Sep 7, 2014
  15. Blossom85

    Blossom85
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    I don't say it personally and it doesn't effect me in a good or bad way, I am just kinda neutral on it.. My mum used girlfriend though to my family or friends to say that I am out with or have been out with my best friend whom is a girl.. My family and friends know she is just a platonic friend to me so it doesn't bother me at all.
     
    #15 Blossom85, Sep 7, 2014
  16. Ruthven

    Ruthven
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    haha same thing with me when my mum has the rare moment of sayin it

    it's always struck me as odd yeah
     
    #16 Ruthven, Sep 7, 2014
  17. Akira12

    Akira12
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    My mom says it as well lol. I don't know why but I'm having a really wonderful time just imagining guys walking up and calling there best friend boyfriend like how the older women do like "me and my boyfriend went to the arcade or the park or movies or lunch" just imagine the faces of others around you! Priceless! So tempted to say something like this!.....if only I wasn't so socially awkward -sigh-
     
    #17 Akira12, Sep 7, 2014
  18. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    Hate is probably too strong of a word on my part, considering it doesn't really offend me to a high level or anything, but I do find it slightly irritating that some people just throw it around especially these days lol
     
    #18 Fallingdown7, Sep 7, 2014
  19. idream

    idream Guest

    My grandma does that!>.< I find it so annoying and it catches me off gaurd everytime.
     
    #19 idream, Sep 7, 2014
  20. Acm

    Acm Guest

    It's really confusing, but I usually only hear it from older women
     
    #20 Acm, Sep 7, 2014
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