The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Janvier · 16th Sep 2008, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Thanks to Betty Bowers, homosexuals' sneaky little secrets are now revealed to the godly:
THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA!

As every Christian knows, there is only one enemy that threatens our entire civilization. And I am, of course, not talking about Satan. I'm talking about those damned homosexuals! Yes, they give otherwise dull hair radiant highlights and our imperfect décor those fabulous flourishes that elude our more predictable heterosexual sensibilities, but at what price? In exchange for a little panache, we allow homosexuals to steal our children and destroy our Christian marriages. And how do they do this? With their secret masterplan -- The Homosexual Agenda!

Many a well-intentioned person has asked me, "Betty, what exactly is The Homosexual Agenda?" Well, if you have to ask, you are probably already under its pernicious influence and blithely hop-scotching your way straight to Hell. Nevertheless, the details of The Homosexual Agenda have -- up until this day -- been kept more secret than the nature of John Travolta's and Tom Cruise's marriages. But I am pleased to announce that through innumerable free vodka sea-breezes and some artful Christian skullduggery, I have gotten my hands on an authentic copy of The Homosexual Agenda. Praise the Lord!

I have had my secretaries, Miss Anne Thrope and Anita Priceczech, transcribe The Homosexual Agenda from the back of a used cocktail napkin (the original is to be placed in the Smithsonian Institute) for your convenient reference. Never again shall we be surprised by what these malevolent Nancy Boys are up to. While they may still be able to surprise us with a cunningly perfect piece of Chinese porcelain for our Biederimeier end-table, they will never again be able to surreptitiously take over our culture, families and prime-time television without God-fearing Christians being one step ahead of them! Praise the Lord!

Click the link to find out what the homosexual agenda really is !

Amy · 16th Sep 2008, 08:36 AM

16th Sep 2008, 08:43 AM

LMAO. that was brilliant.

pirateninja · 16th Sep 2008, 11:12 AM

That is the best Christian satire I have EVER read

Trumpetplyer23 · 16th Sep 2008, 11:55 AM

Lmao. That was great.

WilbersRevenge · 16th Sep 2008, 12:20 PM

That was histerical!

16th Sep 2008, 12:30 PM

Looks like a have a busy day ahead of me then.........(oO)

Wander · 16th Sep 2008, 02:29 PM

Why did no one tell me there was a list I could have been following?

EmperorNero · 16th Sep 2008, 02:35 PM

Hell yeah! Then we won't have to get ourselves a planet of our own, right? If we're ("you're", actually, since only homosexuals are mentioned, but count me in as well!) taking over the earth anyway, that is?

jazzrawr · 16th Sep 2008, 04:22 PM

AHAHA XD
That's great...
Oh dear.

Amy · 16th Sep 2008, 04:47 PM

b.a.s.h.(that site) makes shirts!

my favorite?

gigalo mcbush & caribou barbie

**Maddy** · 16th Sep 2008, 05:46 PM

Awesome! But what about us girls? I think we need to come up with the lesbian agenda. *plots*

Amy · 16th Sep 2008, 05:52 PM

^ what about the bisexual agenda? ^

*pouts*

louring men into a false sense of security, then BOOM! girls.

16th Sep 2008, 06:16 PM

Quote:

louring men into a false sense of security, then BOOM! girls.

This made me laugh.

shakerdancee · 16th Sep 2008, 07:32 PM

But At What Cost.

Brija · 16th Sep 2008, 07:50 PM

Thats Hilarious!

16th Sep 2008, 08:36 AM	#2
Amy DFTBA Full Member Gender: Somewhere between female and I don't know Out Status: Open, not out. Location: Northern California, United States Age: 18 Posts: 2,380 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! __________________ "The opposite of love is not hate, but fear" Forrest Church

16th Sep 2008, 08:43 AM	#3
nodoubtjunkie Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! LMAO. that was brilliant.

16th Sep 2008, 11:12 AM	#4
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 21 Posts: 5,853 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! That is the best Christian satire I have EVER read __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

16th Sep 2008, 12:20 PM	#6
WilbersRevenge EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: love all, but in love with guys Out Status: To those friends who are my family Location: Jackson, NJ Age: 21 Posts: 275 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! That was histerical! __________________ In all your fantasies, you always knew that man and mystery Were both in you And in this labyrinth where night is blind, The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind.

16th Sep 2008, 12:30 PM	#7
The Enigmatic Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! Looks like a have a busy day ahead of me then.........(oO)

16th Sep 2008, 02:29 PM	#8
Wander Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Parents, aunts, grandma, counselor, online friends Location: Central Alabama Age: 18 Posts: 2,360 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! Why did no one tell me there was a list I could have been following?

16th Sep 2008, 02:35 PM	#9
EmperorNero Lost in insanity Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: -sexual Out Status: Mostly everyone Location: Sweden Age: 22 Posts: 239 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! Hell yeah! Then we won't have to get ourselves a planet of our own, right? If we're ("you're", actually, since only homosexuals are mentioned, but count me in as well!) taking over the earth anyway, that is? __________________ Why bother being straight/gay/lesbian/bisexual/whatever? Just fuck the ones who turn you on and marry the one(s) you love. It doesn't have to be this hard.

16th Sep 2008, 04:22 PM	#10
jazzrawr Lover of Loony Lovegood Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesimbean Out Status: I scream it from rooftops Location: Ontario, Canada. Age: 19 Posts: 3,391 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! AHAHA XD That's great... Oh dear. __________________ <3 You can love people so much... But you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. (...and the lesbians.)

16th Sep 2008, 04:47 PM	#11
Amy DFTBA Full Member Gender: Somewhere between female and I don't know Out Status: Open, not out. Location: Northern California, United States Age: 18 Posts: 2,380 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! b.a.s.h.(that site) makes shirts! my favorite? gigalo mcbush & caribou barbie __________________ "The opposite of love is not hate, but fear" Forrest Church

16th Sep 2008, 05:46 PM	#12
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,702 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! Awesome! But what about us girls? I think we need to come up with the lesbian agenda. plots

16th Sep 2008, 05:52 PM	#13
Amy DFTBA Full Member Gender: Somewhere between female and I don't know Out Status: Open, not out. Location: Northern California, United States Age: 18 Posts: 2,380 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! ^ what about the bisexual agenda? ^ pouts louring men into a false sense of security, then BOOM! girls. __________________ "The opposite of love is not hate, but fear" Forrest Church

16th Sep 2008, 07:32 PM	#15
shakerdancee Oom-pah! Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Not sure Out Status: Anyone who asks Location: California Age: 19 Posts: 304 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! But At What Cost.

16th Sep 2008, 07:50 PM	#16
Brija Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Georgia Age: 22 Posts: 93 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: The Homosexual Agenda Revealed ! Thats Hilarious! __________________ What? I'm not sure I understand what your trying to say... You did what with your what?

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