crush on a "straight" girl/gaydar myth

[lawlst]

first off, how many people out their believe in the mystical "Gaydar?"

i was talking with a good friend of mine, also gay, and as always we got to talking about the GLBTQ community and all of its inhabitants. we like to play this sort-of game within our friend circle as to who's in the closet/out, who's straight, who's gay...etc. (how bad is it that i assume you all do this too, to some extent, and therefore know what i'm talking about?)

so we've been talking closely about this girl i have a crush on. it's a sticky situation because she identifies as "straight" and is messing around with one of our neighbors, whom is a guy...and she's trying to hide it from me for some reason. she acts as though she doesn't like him at all, and then sneaks out the window at night.......,..,!?
this one day she started flirting with me hXc...and it has faded in and out of our interactions ever since..mostly in (touchy-feely/+comments on appearance type stuff)

(this doesn't have much influence on how i feel about her and the situation, it's just another factor i'm taking into account...) the other day we were shopping, and she kept inching her way towards the mens' section, got a little embarrassed, and eventually [seemingly] "admitted" she likes shopping in that section more...so i encouraged her to, and she did--as if it "became okay" with my encouragement.

i can't tell if i'm just hoping she's gay, or if she actually is gay. what are your thoughts? please. i'm dying.
oh, and could you possibly spare some advice?? idk WHAT to do.
(i also haven't 100% come-out to her, though it's honestly pretty obvious.)

[Absentminded]

HELL!!! Gaydar is great, and I do in fact believe in it (it hasn't failed me yet).
Some people do just like to crossdress, but, if you ask me, she may be questioning. Have you actually asked her if she is or not, on a more personal level, like, when you're alone with her? Maybe try to bring it up slowly, tell her you're gay.

[lawlst]

Originally Posted by Absentminded

HELL!!! Gaydar is great, and I do in fact believe in it (it hasn't failed me yet).
Some people do just like to crossdress, but, if you ask me, she may be questioning. Have you actually asked her if she is or not, on a more personal level, like, when you're alone with her? Maybe try to bring it up slowly, tell her you're gay.

buddamn, this is just the sort of encouragement i was looking for.

My vote is that you tell her that you're gay and then she'll be more likely to say that she's gay/bi/curious/questioning.

[littledinosaurs]

Originally Posted by ColbieMarie

My vote is that you tell her that you're gay and then she'll be more likely to say that she's gay/bi/curious/questioning.

I agree. As for Gaydar? i am without it. for all i could tell everyone on this site is straight! as for the shoping in the men's department, my lesbians do it and when they check out they usually make the cashire feel awkward and the cashire justifies the purchace by saying something like "this is a nice fabric" hahah. So shopping perdominatly in mens means shes probs bi/gay. (especially if shes embarrassed about it)

[byeee]

I do, I do, I do believe in Gaydars!

[Swamp56]

My gaydar is pretty strong . Although I get it confused with guys I think are gay and guys I think are cute .

Anyway, does this girl act like a lesbian in any way?

[Kenko]

Originally Posted by Swamp56

My gaydar is pretty strong . Although I get it confused with guys I think are gay and guys I think are cute

I think it is very common to confuse the readings from Gaydar and Cutedar.

[Noah]

I do believe in gaydar, i do believe in gaydar, i do i do i do i do i do

[Amy]

i have gaydar. quite damn fucking proud of it. there are 3 settings: straight, wouldnt be suprised whatsoever, and GAYTASTIC(or bitastic/transtastic). it just doesnt work on random people. like my pe teacher, but it does work on that one guy i met at the chamber mixer today. o, and i get nothing if i like them. meh.

if you come out to her, she will most likely be more open with you about her gender and orientation.

[abyssx3]

I trully believe in "gaydar" and let me explain to you why. I spend my free time studying human behavior. Give me 2 weeks and I can tell you if that person is lying or not with 100 percent certainty. The only people that can not be read are people that are aware they are being read. You can tell people are happy and sad by looking at their facial expressions but I look at more details such as body movements, hand gestures, and a lot of unconcious movements. A good example is my brother, he's a very persistant liar and even when caught with the lie he continues it and in turn people often believe him even after he is caught. When he in fact does lie he quickly makes eye contact with you and says "HUH?, o" followed by they lie. Thats just an example. I went to school in West Hollywood and since then have been able to about point out every gay person I've met before they told me they were gay. So I'm one of the few non homo-sexuals with gaydar.
-Eddy

[lexie]

to me, i think it sounds like she likes you. if she saw you as a friend, she'd tell you about the guy she was seeing, you dont hide stuff like that from friends, if shes hiding it, shes hiding it for a reason. is the guy nice? could she be ashamed shes seeing him and thats why shes not letting you in on it?

as for the department store stuff, well i like feminine clothes, but if she zoned in on the mens department, could just be shes a tomboy or just prefers baggy clothing, but if she flirts with you, as you say, id be reading into all the little things and wondering the same as you.

i think the only thing to do, is ask her, or announce your own sexuality gently. she probably already knows and has picked up on the vibes, if she does indeed like you, and after that she might open up.

and for the gaydar thing, i dont know, mine seems to be hit and miss, unless it is very very very obvious.

[Julien]

Ok, this is a story that proves gaydar (or at least mine). I came out by wearing a t-shirt that stated "I am bi". The first place I went in the t-shirt was the Starbucks in my dorm (yes, there is a Starbucks in my dorm). I was pretty sure that the guy working at Starbucks was gay. He said "You're bi. That's great." when he saw my t-shirt. I said "Yeah, it took so much courage to where this shirt because I was closeted until today." He replied, "I came out when I was 15 so it's been like 17 years." I guess I developed my gaydar because I spend so much time in the GLBTIQA community, however the downside is that I tend to be attracted to the guys my gaydar detects and not attracted to the girls my gaydar detects.

[Trumpetplyer23]

my gaydar is okay, I guess, although I really don't bank anything on it.

I had a crush on my friend, whom I have a sneaking suspicion is gay (along with everyone else she knows), but she has 'straight' on her myspace, and has never come out to anyone, I'm guessing. She just might be really closeted or something too.

I might get a feeling or something, but I'm not going to assume something until I know for sure.