I'm not gonna argue that BDSM should have a place in the LGBT community (lol. too much going on here as it is). Or that it's equivalent to sexual orientation as in hetero/homosexuality, etc. But a thread on EC got me reminiscing...and the 1st time I masturbated was around 6. Had no idea what I was doing. Didn't understand sex until years later, and didn't discover BDSM until another couple of years. But my fantasy at that time was uncannily BDSM-like. And I'd read about slavery and stuff (pre-discovery of sex) and I'd have an odd tingling sensation inside and masturbate. So...do you have kinks that you indulged since childhood? Do you think that kinks could be instinctual, inherent orientation?
Personally, the thought of BDSM doesn't appeal to me at all. Don't know what others think of it though.
I'm fine with mild BDSM, and I'm even game for some of it.. But once you get into the latex, the whips, the gag balls, etc etc.. Then that's when I back off
In much the same fashion as say the term "demisexual" is a descriptor of one's orientation rather than an orientation in itself, no, BDSM would not be considered an orientation. The gender/sex you like to engage with while participating in BDSM would be, but BDSM itself would just the the type of sex you enjoy with said gender(s)/sex(es).
I think the orientation part of it is usually specific to gender(s) that you are attracted to but I do also think that you can have kinks/fettishes from an early age. I know I've had a few things that have always felt erotic to me. A few things I remember from films when I was around 5/6 that made me excited, but I didn't really understand why- and then upon discovering porn at the age of 7 it kind of became apparent to me what these feelings were. I think they tend to slowly develop over a period of time and they mature with you. Perhaps it's pre determined.
I don't really think BDSM should be classified as a sexual orientation. Sexual orientation concerns classes of people we're attracted to sexually: men, women, non-binary people, or nobody at all. BDSM concerns the manner in which people enjoy expressing themselves sexually. The two ideas are orthogonal. I'm bisexual and also a submissive, but from a political point of view, my bisexuality is more interesting to talk about and remediate oppression around than my submissiveness is. Likewise, there are many straight and cisgender people who like to dominate and tie their partners down (and their partners enjoy that power play), but they don't experience political and social violence. It's worth talking about all things sexual, certainly. But I don't think it's appropriate to demand that BDSM communities "share the stage" as it were with struggles relating to gender and sexuality. The two fields are different, but they both find a common root in the absolute human right to bodily security. Adrienne
I don't think It's a sexual orientation, but more of a preference. Both opposite and same-sex couples can be into BDSM and they can also both be turned off by it. I really don't think it should be a part of the community since many cisgender and heterosexual people are also into it and they still face many social privileges. I understand what you mean that a lot of fetishes aren't a choice though and we can discover them early on.
i can't imagine in the future where we can present ourselves as BDSM, to pass an orientation and then smile about it. seems kind of creepy in a way.
I don't think of it as an orientation. People of all orientations can be into BDSM. I think someone could be born with a kinky personality, but I also think you could learn to love it.
This pretty much sums up my thoughts on the matter, and is phrased much better than I could have myself
Not an orientation. It is technically a sub-culture within your orientation. It is probably more common, or at least acknowledged within the gay community, it is part of the culture. However, not every gay person engages in it.
I'm into some pretty hard BDSM and wouldn't consider it an orientation. I suppose you could be born with either a submissive/dominant personality and then get into BDSM later on.
Being a slave and getting it on with a fellow slave girl(one of my first real life crushes) was one of my first fantasies. It wasn't heavy bdsm though obviously as I was 11 or 12, but we were like work and sex slaves in my mind forced to wear nothing but loin cloths the whole time no matter what we did. I wouldn't describe it as an orientation, but I have always been fascinated by it.
Isn't it more of a sexual practise than orientation? You can be from any sexual orientation but still enjoy BDSM. I don't like ideas of bondage or submitting to anyone's will. For S part, I might not know where to stop... so better be safe than sorry. Not interested.
That's why you have safe words. No, but the majority of people are only into light bdsm anyways like blindfolding and tying your hands up.
I never would have thought of BDSM as a sexual orientation to be honest, but more of a sexual preference as to what some people like in bed.
