Elephant in the room

I had this with my sister and I ended up asking her to be sure she grasped what I had said, it's best to ask after all it's a pretty big part of your life and not something to be tiptoed around and avoided.

 

Now that was one hell of a birthday party

 

I don't talk to my parents about sex or anything related to sex, I never did it. We had a lot of topics we never spoke about and sex was one of them. I know they feel uncomfortable with everything that is sex related, so I never mention it, unless they critizise LGTB, then I have to break the rule... Which usually ends up with uncomfortable silences.

Gave up on coming out of the closet, even if I want to do it, but maybe they suspect I'm not 100% "normal".

 

Can't tell you, I don't know them... It's your own life anyways, not theirs. If they are not comfortable, then you shouldn't insist unless you want to make them understand, but usually that takes a lot of time and effort, and there is about 50% chance you would just be wasting your time... While making them even more uncomfortable.

 

I'm similar with my parents. I came out to them later than a lot of people (although also, I recognise, earlier than a lot too), when I was 20. In the year between that and moving out, they were totally fine with it but we also didn't really talk about it. That was probably because nothing will establish the habit of not talking about anything even vaguely sexual or romantic with your parents than being closeted for your entire adolescence. We already didn't talk about that stuff. So in a way it wasn't really anything to do with the fact that I'd come out to them, it was to do with the fact that I hadn't come out sooner.

It's not problematic for me, though - I have plenty of friends to talk stuff over with, and anyway we were never repressed about it. I got 'the talk' and plenty of support and stuff. We just had that very awkward parent-child vibe going on big time, and that carried on after I came out to them, but then it was a bit more noticeable because it was something that we might have felt awkward talking about even if we had been more open beforehand.

If it is a problem for you, the best approach in my opinion would be to nuke it. Talk to them directly about it, and suggest that you all force yourselves to talk very openly about it all until you have made the topic less awkward to talk about.

 

I told my mom and she is in complete denial. I think the only way she will "get it"
is if/when I get a girlfriend. It's normal for people to pretend something doesn't exist because it makes them uncomfortable. Maybe bring it up again if they ask you about dating?

 

I'm the same way with my mother. We just *don't* talk about it. Whenever I mention anything that's remotely or seemingly queer, then my mom assumes that that's all I am and that I'm "being loud and proud". like...what? :dry:.

 

My mom is similar. She doesn't really acknowledge it. She still asks me if I'm dating my male friends sometimes. In those moments, I wonder if she just doesn't grasp the concept very well. She was raised very conservatively and, to my knowledge, has never had a gay or lesbian friend or relative. So I think she just doesn't really get it. She doesn't know the difference between 'gay' or 'bi' or 'queer' or 'trans' or anything, so when she tries to think of me as gay, she doesn't really know what to think.

I assume she'll get the picture better if/when I get a long-term girlfriend and bring her to visit. I think she'll need to see it to understand fully. In the meantime, she doesn't ever talk about it.

 

This happened with my mom. And you know, I think it's a defense mechanism. The only time my gender or me wanting to transition would ever come up was when she was pissed at me and she needed something to attack. But otherwise, she would just keep acting like nothing was wrong, like she was never at fault...

She's living out of state now, so thank god for that...

 

I don't think my parents forgot or anything, but it sometimes feels like my mom thinks I'm bisexual instead of gay... :/

 

My mom knows I'm lesbian but she's in denial, yesterday in front of my dad's cousin , she told her I needed to choose a penis.:bang:
I think it will not hit her till I come out to her or get a girlfriend.

 

Your mother said that? I'm not used to parents being that forward, especially when it comes to sex.

 

Yep, I know the feeling. Back when I was still pretty confused and unable to tell her properly, I told my mom about my gender issues.

She is still in denial and doesn't want to even think about me being trans. She ignores the things I did tell her and I'm still "daughter". Fucking annoying.

 

I live in a similar situation. I have a long distance relationship with a girl and my parents know that. I told them I'm bi about a year ago; that day we talked a lot about it, they expressed their doubts, asked me their questions and then the discussions finished with a hug. I said clearly that whether they had some other doubts, or need to talk about it again, I would be happy to do it. However, since that day they've never mentioned the thing again. When i take a train to meet my girlfriend (every week), they know where I'm going, but when i come back they never ask me something about the day, what we've done, or something. It's not really important to me, because i've always been a reserved person about relationships, but I think it's a bit forced behavior, don't know to explain.. In august I was two weeks at her home and when I came back they only asked me if my train travel was good :lol::lol:
I love them, they are open-minded people and i'm sure they accept me, but need some time to realize.
Sometimes their silence makes me..angry, and insecure about their feelings. Other times I think they just need time, and patience, and I should give it; maybe they are just embarassed, because they don't talk about it, but neither do I, therefore they probably think it's a bad subject for me, I don't know. It's a vicious circle! :lol:
I have to take the first step, I know. I "just" have to find the energy to do it (again!).