I started coming out in May (I was 20 at the time). I'm now 21, and in my final year of college. I have a few acquaintances, and 2 really close friends (who are no longer in college, they've since graduated). I wasn't able to be social and connect with people all though out my college experience because I was DEEPLY closeted (I pretended to be someone that I was not. I put on an entire persona, not just the "pretending to be straight" thing). Now that I'm finally out and in my final year of college, I feel like I've missed the boat. My social life is a bore, and I've never even dated someone before. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Am I too late to make a change? If not, then what should I do? Am I the only one that feels this way?
You are so not alone! I barely have a foot out of the closet door. Everything you just said, I'm in the same boat, except the being fully out part. You just have to realize that there is no "lateness" for coming out. It takes time. Now that you have taken that huge step you can begin to enjoy your life Maybe try going to an LGBT support group at your college and meet some people? Forget about what you missed, look forward to what's ahead! Congrats on coming out (!)
It's not too late. I'm a freshman in highschool, but I feel an urgency to transition before college for the very same reason you stated. However, some people (see: lgbt in later life thread) don't come out until they're later in life, and it's still not too late. Start with your college first, and if you have a job, go there, too. Connect with those people. Maybe you can join a club or an association or go to a bar, if that's your thing.
I wish I knew myself better in undergrad. I am happy for you that you came out at all. It is never too late; life is just beginning. College is not the last time in your life you will ever have amazing life experiences. And now that you're honest with yourself, your life is going to get way better. As to what you should do, enjoy your last year of college. Try to make some genuine friends, being your true self and not some fake-heterosexual version of yourself. Go with your instincts, take some risks. Get on the damn boat! It hasn't left yet. :icon_bigg (&&&)
I'm 24 and only started coming out because i was outted. I wasn't even ready when i was outted by a close friend. but it happened to me. and i was only 22. So if your late I can only wonder what that makes me! But in the last 2 years i have been coming out and meeting men of all shapes and sizes- i assure you. you have not missed much, because this is the age where boys become men. This is where financial decisions , long term jobs, and true personalities all make their mark. 20-30, decides EVERYTHING. I have learned that thus far. so now feel free to pick and choose. this is the age where the fun gets started. hell go to a gay bar and have a few drinks, you'll meet someone, even if its just a friend. Just find a MAN. not some boy who's going to toy with your heart, urges, and needs.
I'm confused on how you're baffled how to go about doing this haha. You don't need anybody to accompany you, you can do this all by yourself. If you think it would help you to have somebody tag along with you to boost your confidence, then by all means. Furthermore, it won't be awkward if you go by yourself. A situation it only awkward if you make it that way.
I am 29 and have not really come out to a lot of people yet.. Only my immediate family and they don't even know officially yet, just that I am thinking along those lines, so please don't feel you are too old at all? You still have many years ahead of you to enjoy as who you really are.
You're not the only one...I'm 20 and have only come out to a handful of people. But definitely better late than never! There are heaps of people who have come out much much later and things still work out
Dude, I feel the exact same thing. Except I won't go to college. I missed out on being out in high school, so it's really hard not having that experience under my belt.
I just started coming out to people and I am 24. I also had the DEEP closeted reaction. I first started thinking that I might be bi when I 18 but pushed it down to the point that I forgot about it for months and years at a time. Life got complicated, and it was too much to deal with coming out too, so I padlocked my closet door.
Im 24, barely out, and just about to start college, so you haven't missed much. I've also lived in a small chance with basically no chance of meeting people even to be friends with.
My coming out is a mess, and has been for the past 5 years. In some ways I think it is better to do it when your 15 (presuming you know then) and get it over with, tell everybody and be free. What I've done means I am always having to self correct, self sensor and maybe not lie, but divert the truth depending on who I'm with. Not easy at all. I came out in the most messy fashion at school, but wasn't at home. Bearing in mind I have family at the same school, its a close nit village network, Facebook, etc THAT WAS A BAD IDEA.
I think that's my problem. I ALWAYS tend to make things awkward. What do you do to not do this? It seems like everyone at clubs is out with someone else. Being a loner so to speak is a difficult thing for me. I tend to think that everyone sees me as such...
Well when i go to the bar I look firstly for the people my age. pretty much i make myself look good, go in to grab a drink or food dish, look around to see if there's anyone my age. if there isnt i exit stage left. if there is I sit next to him and say hello. compliment something about him and hope he doesnt give me the cold shoulder. or the typical "thanks".
Yeah, you're not late(even if it might feel that way at times; I know the feeling). I'm not out and, hell, just over 2 years ago I wasn't even aware of anything related to what I was.
