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"Gay" is for guys, "lesbian" is for girls...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ChapterOne, Sep 24, 2014.

  1. ChapterOne

    ChapterOne Guest

    ...Or at least, that's what I'm told. If anyone else has noticed/experienced this, I think you know what I'm talking about. One of my straight guy friends told me when I came out that he was fine with it, but that I had labeled myself incorrectly. Apparently, according to this LGBT expert, (or at least, that's what he thinks), labeling myself as "gay" was wrong because I'm female. He explained passionately that I was lesbian, or a lesbian, and that only guys could be gay. I argued back just as passionately that the term "gay" applied to both genders, but he didn't seem to get it. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

    ~Chapter One
     
  2. Dakeli27

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    Female gays are usually called lesbians, but gay is fine if you prefer. You will get some people who think that lesbian is the only acceptable term.
     
  3. confuseduser99

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    "Gay" can be used interchangeably with "lesbian" for a woman. For some reason however, "lesbian" cannot be used interchangeably with "gay" for a man. That's just the way it works...
     
  4. RAdam

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    Gay: Homo for Men , Lesbian for Women ?
     
  5. redneck

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    I prefer to refer to women as "gay" instead of "lesbian" because lesbian has taken on a connotation of sex object. Really just go to a restaurant and have a conversation using the word "gay" repeatedly and look around. Most people will either be oblivious to your conversation or be trying to ignore you. Say the word "lesbian" once and you will get the attention of half the guys in the room.

    Yup, guys are rectangles and women are squares.
     
  6. rmds

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    I use both gay and lesbian to describe women. There are some people who think that gay shouldn't be used to describe women but I don't think anything about "gay girl" sounds weird.
     
  7. TheStormInside

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    When my youngest brother was little he thought only boys were called "kids" and girls were just called "girls." That didn't make him right. :lol:
     
  8. One Man Army

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    It's like how I thought my mother's siblings were my aunts and my dad's siblings were my uncles. Female uncles and male aunts abounded!
     
  9. Fruit Topping

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    We are gay though.
     
  10. Starfleet

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    I'm all about treating people with respect, letting them be what they want to be. I call myself "Bi". If you want to be "Gay", "Lesbian", "Queer", or something else, then I'll honor that.
     
  11. MintberryCrunch

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    Eh, that's how I use the term, but I don't care if lesbians call themselves "gay". I mean, who really cares?
     
  12. asdfghjk

    asdfghjk Guest

    he sounds annoying

    "i.... im gay! i like women!!!! i am a homosexual!!"

    "[nasally voice] congrats but did you know [nerd breathing] the correct term is lesbian, for females, as gay is exclusively for men? using the term as told by merriam webster says that by using gay you are a man that loves men hence you are a female that likes females so [scratching acne scars open] you can only be a lesbian now the termology here goes back to
     
  13. NDark

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    Dude, I am gay. I always call myself that, since it's an umbrella term and it's less unfamiliar than 'lesbian.' The latter term scares me a bit to say aloud.
     
  14. ChameleonSoul

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    :roflmao:

    ----------------------------------------------------

    Now going back to the subject at hand, he obviously doesn't have any idea what he's talking about. It's pretty common knowledge that "gay" is gender neutral despite it being used more often with males.
     
  15. Lesbibliophile

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    Oh, I know people who take that opinion. Usually it's straight people who think they're being helpful. I don't know why that is.

    Myself, I vastly prefer 'gay' to 'lesbian' when referring to myself. Like redneck said, 'lesbian' has kind of a sexual connotation among some people, so I sometimes avoid it for that reason. Also, for whatever reason, the word 'gay' sounds a lot more casual. It sounds like less of a big deal, which is usually what I want when I'm talking about my sexuality. Saying "I'm gay" is just easier than saying "I'm a lesbian."

    That being said, I almost always use the word 'lesbians' when I'm talking about us as a demographic, or in some kind of group statement. It's rare that I would say 'gay women.'

    So, if I need to refer to the genders separately, it's 'gay men' and 'lesbians.' But if it's just me, I usually say 'gay.' Labels are a funny thing, no?
     
  16. MintberryCrunch

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    Additionally, "Lesbian" means "someone from the island of Lesbos". Do you think all those Lesbians in Greece appreciate that? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  17. Kasey

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    I'm gay in more ways than one.

    I'm a trans woman who loves other women.

    And I'm happy.

    But I'm a person first.
     
  18. ChapterOne

    ChapterOne Guest

    I totally agree; I prefer the term "gay" as well just because "lesbian" almost sounds dirty these days.

    ---------- Post added 24th Sep 2014 at 05:06 PM ----------

    It'd make coming out a lot easier :grin:
     
  19. stocking

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    I thought we homosexual women had the option of using lesbian or gay .
    This person sounds like the jackass , you can use what you want .
     
  20. ChapterOne

    ChapterOne Guest

    And yes, labels are funny and crazy and in my opinion we shouldn't have any and we should simply love who we want and be who we want without sticking a "my name is..." stamp on it, but hey, what can ya do?

    ---------- Post added 24th Sep 2014 at 05:09 PM ----------

    oh gosh this made me laugh so hard