On Fire!! - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Plgrm43 · 21st Sep 2008, 09:34 PM

Ah! Hell EC, hope everyone is well. I don't get a chance to post on here much, but I do browse through the threads and whatnot often, and I am glad you are here.

I have no one to share this with, but it would be a foolish thing of me not to share with you all. Truly, I have friends, but this is more a rant, probably of interest to few of you, but read on. You may enjoy, or learn, or feel something.

I'm a relatively young man from the US, East-coast born and raised. I am from this little Pennsylvania Dutch town, so it was characteristically German. There is one factory in town that keeps us around, but for the most part, people are born, raised and stay there. I couldn't do that. I couldn't STAND it. I left, fleeing West to attend a prestigious University, studying philosophy, reading volumes of classical literature, modern literature, pretty much any book I can get my hands on that seems worth it. I had missed something in my education. Quickly I realized it had more to do with the heart, than with the head. I was missing out on how to live, how to think, how to feel.

I write this under inspiration, admittedly, of the classic Russian novel Anna Karenina. There's something about these Russians. They dive deep into existence and rip it wide open, extraordinarily poetically, creating a torrent of emotion, philosophical questions, all the while appealing to the innermost part of mankind. I literally am without feeling at this moment. I am not in love, I am not full of despair. I am touching who I am, who we are. I am seeing that life is, at it's most base level, a romance. Romance does not mean, however, that each moment is joy, or pain. It means that it is real. It is a battle one moment, then indistinguishably mechanical, followed by an intense sense of the REAL. The MAN. The WOMAN.

All-in-all, I wish in my heart of hearts that one day I could be so real, so alive and in love. To those who long for this, push on. Live on in spite of the pain. To those who have tasted this or are living this, I walk beside you.

"All the variety, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow." - Stepan Arkadyevich Oblonsky in Anna Karenina

jbb1236 · 22nd Sep 2008, 01:51 PM

WOW, That was awesome. I'm truly speechless for only the second time in my life. Just WOW.

22nd Sep 2008, 01:53 PM

that was like pretty awesome you should be famous so you can say that to a ton of people!

Wander · 22nd Sep 2008, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Master Hade

that was like pretty awesome you should be famous so you can say that to a ton of people!

Become famous by saying it to a ton of people.

EmperorNero · 22nd Sep 2008, 02:45 PM

Beautiful. Really beautiful. I didn't understand it all, but I think I got the point, or some of it.

beckyg · 22nd Sep 2008, 04:38 PM

Very nice!

22nd Sep 2008, 07:00 PM

Wow!!! That was amazing! I do hope you continue to post more philosophy like this.

21st Sep 2008, 09:34 PM	#1
Plgrm43 Member Full Member Gender: A pretty girl in a man's body Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few people Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 61 Join Date: Dec 2007	On Fire!! Ah! Hell EC, hope everyone is well. I don't get a chance to post on here much, but I do browse through the threads and whatnot often, and I am glad you are here. I have no one to share this with, but it would be a foolish thing of me not to share with you all. Truly, I have friends, but this is more a rant, probably of interest to few of you, but read on. You may enjoy, or learn, or feel something. I'm a relatively young man from the US, East-coast born and raised. I am from this little Pennsylvania Dutch town, so it was characteristically German. There is one factory in town that keeps us around, but for the most part, people are born, raised and stay there. I couldn't do that. I couldn't STAND it. I left, fleeing West to attend a prestigious University, studying philosophy, reading volumes of classical literature, modern literature, pretty much any book I can get my hands on that seems worth it. I had missed something in my education. Quickly I realized it had more to do with the heart, than with the head. I was missing out on how to live, how to think, how to feel. I write this under inspiration, admittedly, of the classic Russian novel Anna Karenina. There's something about these Russians. They dive deep into existence and rip it wide open, extraordinarily poetically, creating a torrent of emotion, philosophical questions, all the while appealing to the innermost part of mankind. I literally am without feeling at this moment. I am not in love, I am not full of despair. I am touching who I am, who we are. I am seeing that life is, at it's most base level, a romance. Romance does not mean, however, that each moment is joy, or pain. It means that it is real. It is a battle one moment, then indistinguishably mechanical, followed by an intense sense of the REAL. The MAN. The WOMAN. All-in-all, I wish in my heart of hearts that one day I could be so real, so alive and in love. To those who long for this, push on. Live on in spite of the pain. To those who have tasted this or are living this, I walk beside you. "All the variety, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow." - Stepan Arkadyevich Oblonsky in Anna Karenina

22nd Sep 2008, 01:51 PM	#2
jbb1236 Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone but Parents Location: Boodocks, Iowa Posts: 150 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: On Fire!! WOW, That was awesome. I'm truly speechless for only the second time in my life. Just WOW.

22nd Sep 2008, 01:53 PM	#3
Master Hade Guest Posts: n/a	Re: On Fire!! that was like pretty awesome you should be famous so you can say that to a ton of people!

22nd Sep 2008, 02:45 PM	#5
EmperorNero Lost in insanity Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: -sexual Out Status: Mostly everyone Location: Sweden Age: 22 Posts: 239 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: On Fire!! Beautiful. Really beautiful. I didn't understand it all, but I think I got the point, or some of it. __________________ Why bother being straight/gay/lesbian/bisexual/whatever? Just fuck the ones who turn you on and marry the one(s) you love. It doesn't have to be this hard.

22nd Sep 2008, 04:38 PM	#6
beckyg PFLAG Mom Community Liaison Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone/Yes, parents come out too! Location: Middle of Oregon Age: 50 Posts: 7,572 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: On Fire!! Very nice! __________________ "When we're free to love anyone we choose, When this worlds big enough for all different views, When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew, Then we shall be free" ~ Garth Brooks

22nd Sep 2008, 07:00 PM	#7
Nova713 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: On Fire!! Wow!!! That was amazing! I do hope you continue to post more philosophy like this.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Chriatian Church vs. Fire	JayC	Chit Chat	5	10th Sep 2008 05:51 PM
hottest video game character	Ryguy76	Entertainment and Media	87	15th Aug 2008 11:21 AM
Release the fire in your crotch.	SlowEyes	Introductions, Welcomes and Congratulations	40	10th May 2008 12:09 AM
9 Year Old Beats Guitar Hero 3 - Through the Fire and Flames	sdc91	Entertainment and Media	4	23rd Dec 2007 08:58 PM
180 year old coal mine fire finally put out	surfrboykai	Chit Chat	15	7th Nov 2007 02:35 PM