I know I've made a million posts and threads about this it feels like but really really really need to get this off chest. So anyway... My brother and I were receiving child support from my biological father- probably since I was 4 years old. This money, since both my brother and I were under 18, went to my mother, of course, to provide for us. But the deal was, once my brother and I turned 18 and started attending college, those funds would be received under our names and were meant to go towards school expenses. However, mom decided she didn't want to miss out on a grand a month. So she continued claiming the money. See, I did a little digging. I have the case number for the divorce, I have the account numbers. Turns out what my mom did is when I turned 18 and she was tired of forcing me to sign the checks is she used my name and my social security number to establish a bank account where the child support would settle in. I had proof of that when I contacted the support office and was told that those funds were, apparently, going to me and they had records it was under my name. It's no secret what my mother's soon to anyone in the know. Even a family friend was appalled when she learned about the support money. Here's the thing. My mom is out of state. She's basically a single motet who's supporting my younger siblings on fairly hefty social security funds AND my child support. With the SS funds alone, they have more than enough to live on month by month. It makes me sick to see my mom using the child support to get her nails done and go on conferences. Not ensuring the kids have excellent schooling- I'm pretty sure my 7 and 8 year old sisters still can't read even at a first grade level or they're going to be eating healthy or have a college fund. My boyfriend found out about the child support and he wants me to file for it. But something's still holding me back. My mom still, to my knowledge, has my SSN. I'm really worried she'll still be able to screw me over and if I take that money, she'll have a reason to. I could really use that money for college and rent but what do I do if she won't part with it willingly?
I'm sorry to hear this. First, try doing some basic reading on how to enforce that the money would be funneled to you now that you are an adult and that you plan on attending college. If you are attending college, try to consult with the legal aid group that is available to students on many campuses. I'm sure they've seen this before. If not, see if you can get some questions answered from either a local community college, if they're willing to, or the college you plan to attend. There are avenues. You just have to make a list of resources and go through it. I can only imagine how stressful this can be. I don't have all the information but I have sort of formed an opinion. Your dad came through on your child support, so he sounds like he was NOT a deadbeat dad. That's good. How your mom used the money may have had some selfish motives. Obviously, you bring up being screwed out of the money because there is some lack of trust, am I right? So she sounds selfish. Husbands eventually tire of and divorce selfish wives. In the male > female direction in divorce, I hear of that as being a primary reason in many situations. This is tricky. It goes to show that you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. Then, when the going gets real rough, that can test friendships. That's why there is the notion that blood is thicker than water. I hope you have a support system of other relatives, other siblings, and other dependable people.
Wow. That is crazy that a mom would take money away from her child. I am sorry to hear this. I'm confused as to why you still get child support. Doesn't it end when you turn 18? Or is your father just still sending money willingly without a court order? Does your dad know what your mom is doing? I would talk to your mom first. If she doesn't stop taking your money, then tell your dad about it; it's his money he is sending; he should be in the know. If all this still doesn't stop her from taking your money then lawyer up and take her to court. I know she is your mom, but she is comitting identy thieft here stealing your social security number in able to cash in on this money. That is just so wrong, and she could get into major trouble! If nothing gets resolved, I would take her to court.
Thats horrible, it is YOUR money so YOU are the one who shoukd have it. I would take legal action if i were you, or at least threaten to, so she stops what she is doing.
child support needs a rehaul. i thinkyoy can apply for a new ssn. maybe register at sone lawyer yourbstate forums and bug people about possibilities
It's awful when you finally figure out someone doesn't really have your best interest at heart. Get a lawyer. Or just empty the bank account, it's in your name. That'd be even better. Just imagine her face when she goes to spend your money and the card gets declined.
Like many have suggested, try applying for a new SSN, so that way she has nothing to blackmail you with. Then try to deal with the matter of the child support money. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this and have such a lousy mother :/.
Thanks everyone. A few things... 1) How the hell do I afford a lawyer or a legal fund? 2) How do I change the social security number? 3) If I didn't change the SSN, how do I protect myself from my mother? 4) Can I report her for fraud? 5) If she gives me trouble or threatens me, what do I do?
You can consult with a lawyer for free. Call and make an appointment. They'll tell you what they can do, if anything. If they think you have a case. I'm sure they'll take their fee from whatever your rewarded.
Talk to a lawyer. You can contact the state bar association in your state to find out where some free advice lawyers are. Since you turned 18, and based on what you have said your mother has done, she has at least three felonies that she has perpetrated against you. I would use this information to threaten her with. She gives up using your information and gives you back the money that is rightfully yours, including all future checks, and you dont report her to the Feds for fraud, theft, and lying to the government/banks. She can go to prison for a few years on this, and your siblings will go to the state, unless a relative takes them in. I am sure if she is threatened with this, she will give you what is yours. If not, turn her in. If she's willing to do this, she is willing to use your identity to steal your paychecks, get loans, and buy stuff on your credit. Believe me........put a stop to this now, or you will pay the price in the end. ---------- Post added 1st Oct 2014 at 08:08 PM ---------- Oh, since this does involve ID theft, you can probably get a lawyer for free or at low cost. She has made herself a felon.....stop her now before she bleeds you dry and ruins your credit and your life for the rest of your life. You can report her to the SSI, just call them up and tell them your mother is fraudulently using your SS number to get money and open bank accounts. That in itself will have the Feds at her front door. Just call the state bar association and talk to someone there, they can help you find a lawyer for your case. But be ready............the money will be frozen, as will be all of her bank accounts and any accounts that she has fraudulently opened in your name or hers. And you wont see that money until the court hearings/trial is over with...and even then it could take a few years to see any of that money. Unless you have a really good lawyer.
The legal aid group at a university or at a community service center works either for free or for sliding rates. Their purpose is to help those who have neither the funds nor the ability. Look into it. It could be a good resource.
