Who's got it toughest? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

silentsound · 22nd Sep 2008, 02:26 PM

There is always a little bit of debate over who has it harder as far as being accepted (boys or girls? gays or bisexuals? etc etc) Personally, I think it depends on the situation you're in. I know for me, it's a lot worse for girls which is different from most of society. I know I sound a little biased, but I see it every day: the few out boys we have are rejected and bullied by the boys but accepted and befriended by the girls. The girls, on the other hand, are alienated by both genders. So I am curious, who has it harder where you live?

22nd Sep 2008, 02:33 PM

I think i'll actually agree with you that girls have it tougher as with guys most girls will take a gay guy as one of their best friends but lesbians tend to be more just eye candy nd fantasy for straight guys and not friends so much, from my experience anyway.

littledinosaurs · 22nd Sep 2008, 02:36 PM

i think a gay boy could have it harder in the long run cause its generally less accepted. But i do agree it deffinately depends on the situation, at my school there are lesbians everywhere so they don't really have any problems in general.

MusicIsLife · 22nd Sep 2008, 02:41 PM

I def agree it depends on the situation, but from my perspective, the guys around here have it harder. When i came out, i was totally accepted [and made guy friends xD] but the guys who i know came out as bi, they had a really hard time. One guy i know of, his brother outed him at school, and consistently calls his brother a fag to his friends.

Butttt on the other hand, according to my gay friend Mike, the college near to me, the girls have it harder, so idk.

Nugget · 22nd Sep 2008, 02:42 PM

I don't know, I always thought transgendered people have it harder, especially transwomen.

littledinosaurs · 22nd Sep 2008, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nugget

I don't know, I always thought transgendered people have it harder, especially transwomen.

OH good point, mtf probs have it the worst.

Wander · 22nd Sep 2008, 02:49 PM

MTFs have the most trouble with social acceptance, and bisexuals seem to have more trouble being accepted by friends and family (usually because they're seen as faking it for attention, indecisive, gay but trying to hide it, etc).

EmperorNero · 22nd Sep 2008, 03:00 PM

As far as I've noticed, gay males seem to have it harder. They are, as said, bullied by other (straight) guys, but befriended by girls. Lesbians, on the other hand, seems to be accepted by both genders (from my point of view, that is).

I don't know anything of transgendered people, since haven't heard anything about them here (For the record, I live in a small town with 15 000 citizens (And, for the fun of it, exactly 42 902 cows (In august 2007))).

Nixon · 22nd Sep 2008, 03:38 PM

Jews trust me we do

But with the question Men do
"Lesbians are hot as long as there not butch" One of My Friends

gentlegiant4 · 22nd Sep 2008, 10:14 PM

Hmmm... I'd have to go with bisexuals at my school.

The two bi kids in my class, a girl and a guy, came out at pretty much the same time. Word spread fast, especially about the guy. The guy was a great athlete and once in the gym locker room I heard his friends talking about how he had "turned into a nasty fucking switch hitter" and that "if he likes girls, that's fine, but nobody wants to hear about no faggot shit". Sad.

22nd Sep 2008, 10:43 PM

well where i live gay girls are accepted and bisexual girls are encouraged by our teenage and college society. however for us guys we are not encouraged and we get the HELL lecture. but we still have friends mostly girls but still have some guy friends.

Danielle · 22nd Sep 2008, 11:37 PM

I think FTMs have it the harder as it seems there is much more MTFs than FTMs but on the other hand it is much harder to spot an FTM than to spot an MTF

skwidge · 22nd Sep 2008, 11:44 PM

I think bi. Because I initially identified as bisexual, and people assumed that I had to be in a relationship with a guy and girl at the same time to be satisfied. So I was instantly thought to be cheating, lying, indecisive... blah blah.

I don't know about gay vs lesbian though... I go to an all guys school and have never met any out lesbians in person before. But I can see what some of you mean when you say gays have it better cos they get befriended by girls.

Janvier · 22nd Sep 2008, 11:55 PM

I'd say bi, because there's biphobia in the gay community and homophobia coming from straight people.
Gay vs Lesbian? I think lesbians have it the hardest, finding a gay guy is much easier (for me anyway) than a lesbian and the LGBT community and 'gayborhoods' seem much more focused on gay males.

23rd Sep 2008, 12:44 AM

I'd say it is all based on location.

22nd Sep 2008, 02:26 PM	#1
silentsound Flaming Thespian Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: most people Age: 18 Posts: 2,253 Join Date: Jun 2008	Who's got it toughest? There is always a little bit of debate over who has it harder as far as being accepted (boys or girls? gays or bisexuals? etc etc) Personally, I think it depends on the situation you're in. I know for me, it's a lot worse for girls which is different from most of society. I know I sound a little biased, but I see it every day: the few out boys we have are rejected and bullied by the boys but accepted and befriended by the girls. The girls, on the other hand, are alienated by both genders. So I am curious, who has it harder where you live? __________________ ...and I can't wait to figure out what's *wrong* with me, so I can say 'this is the way I [used] to be'

22nd Sep 2008, 02:33 PM	#2
JWAD Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Who's got it toughest? I think i'll actually agree with you that girls have it tougher as with guys most girls will take a gay guy as one of their best friends but lesbians tend to be more just eye candy nd fantasy for straight guys and not friends so much, from my experience anyway.

22nd Sep 2008, 02:36 PM	#3
littledinosaurs J'essaie de Parler Français! :] Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: Bisexuel Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre. Age: 21 Posts: 2,351 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Who's got it toughest? i think a gay boy could have it harder in the long run cause its generally less accepted. But i do agree it deffinately depends on the situation, at my school there are lesbians everywhere so they don't really have any problems in general. __________________ Âllo Là

22nd Sep 2008, 02:41 PM	#4
MusicIsLife EC Addict Full Member Gender: Not even sure anymore. Something in between. Orientation: I like girls :) Out Status: Everyone on orientation 7 people on trans issue. Location: Montréal, QC Age: 23 Posts: 1,595 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Who's got it toughest? I def agree it depends on the situation, but from my perspective, the guys around here have it harder. When i came out, i was totally accepted [and made guy friends xD] but the guys who i know came out as bi, they had a really hard time. One guy i know of, his brother outed him at school, and consistently calls his brother a fag to his friends. Butttt on the other hand, according to my gay friend Mike, the college near to me, the girls have it harder, so idk.

22nd Sep 2008, 02:42 PM	#5
Nugget No Artificial Preservatives Regular Member Gender: Female Location: Northeast Posts: 389 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Who's got it toughest? I don't know, I always thought transgendered people have it harder, especially transwomen.

22nd Sep 2008, 02:49 PM	#7
Wander Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Parents, aunts, grandma, counselor, online friends Location: Central Alabama Age: 18 Posts: 2,360 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Who's got it toughest? MTFs have the most trouble with social acceptance, and bisexuals seem to have more trouble being accepted by friends and family (usually because they're seen as faking it for attention, indecisive, gay but trying to hide it, etc).

22nd Sep 2008, 03:00 PM	#8
EmperorNero Lost in insanity Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: -sexual Out Status: Mostly everyone Location: Sweden Age: 22 Posts: 239 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Who's got it toughest? As far as I've noticed, gay males seem to have it harder. They are, as said, bullied by other (straight) guys, but befriended by girls. Lesbians, on the other hand, seems to be accepted by both genders (from my point of view, that is). I don't know anything of transgendered people, since haven't heard anything about them here (For the record, I live in a small town with 15 000 citizens (And, for the fun of it, exactly 42 902 cows (In august 2007))). __________________ Why bother being straight/gay/lesbian/bisexual/whatever? Just fuck the ones who turn you on and marry the one(s) you love. It doesn't have to be this hard.

22nd Sep 2008, 03:38 PM	#9
Nixon EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Go to Catholic School So, NO Location: Dundee, Nebraska (It's in Omaha) Age: 19 Posts: 575 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Who's got it toughest? Jews trust me we do But with the question Men do "Lesbians are hot as long as there not butch" One of My Friends

22nd Sep 2008, 10:14 PM	#10
gentlegiant4 Well Known Regular Member Gender: XY Orientation: i like d00dz Out Status: Out to everyone Location: az Posts: 163 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Who's got it toughest? Hmmm... I'd have to go with bisexuals at my school. The two bi kids in my class, a girl and a guy, came out at pretty much the same time. Word spread fast, especially about the guy. The guy was a great athlete and once in the gym locker room I heard his friends talking about how he had "turned into a nasty fucking switch hitter" and that "if he likes girls, that's fine, but nobody wants to hear about no faggot shit". Sad. __________________

22nd Sep 2008, 10:43 PM	#11
JayC Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Who's got it toughest? well where i live gay girls are accepted and bisexual girls are encouraged by our teenage and college society. however for us guys we are not encouraged and we get the HELL lecture. but we still have friends mostly girls but still have some guy friends.

22nd Sep 2008, 11:37 PM	#12
Danielle EC Addict Full Member Gender: Transgender - MtF Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Most people Location: NSW, Australia Age: 19 Posts: 525 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Who's got it toughest? I think FTMs have it the harder as it seems there is much more MTFs than FTMs but on the other hand it is much harder to spot an FTM than to spot an MTF

22nd Sep 2008, 11:44 PM	#13
skwidge Kiwi kid =] Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Parents, brother and some friends. 20 in total. Location: New Zealand Age: 21 Posts: 70 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Who's got it toughest? I think bi. Because I initially identified as bisexual, and people assumed that I had to be in a relationship with a guy and girl at the same time to be satisfied. So I was instantly thought to be cheating, lying, indecisive... blah blah. I don't know about gay vs lesbian though... I go to an all guys school and have never met any out lesbians in person before. But I can see what some of you mean when you say gays have it better cos they get befriended by girls. __________________ "Smile... it makes them think you know what you're doing"

22nd Sep 2008, 11:55 PM	#14
Janvier يَناير Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: France Age: 22 Posts: 849 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Who's got it toughest? I'd say bi, because there's biphobia in the gay community and homophobia coming from straight people. Gay vs Lesbian? I think lesbians have it the hardest, finding a gay guy is much easier (for me anyway) than a lesbian and the LGBT community and 'gayborhoods' seem much more focused on gay males. __________________ Uncertainty excites me.

23rd Sep 2008, 12:44 AM	#15
Defender Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Who's got it toughest? I'd say it is all based on location.