An interesting conversation with my roommate

So...yeah. I had a kinda bizarre conversation with my roommate last night, and I guess it left me with a lot on my mind, and I'm not exactly sure what to make of the whole thing. But before I start, I just want to give a heads up that this post may contain content that some may find offensive. Also, this post is going to be long, and there are some details I don't remember exactly, so just try to bear with me.

So here's what happened:

I was about to go to bed and my roommate asked me what my opinion was on transgender people.

It was a kinda vague question, so I wasn't sure how to respond. But I told him that I don't have any problems with them and that I'm sympathetic to the issues they face. Then I began talking about my experiences as a gay person and how I could use them, at least to some degree, to better understand the plights of the transgender community. I was talking about how it bothers me that everyone immediately assumes I'm straight and that I think our culture perpetuates this attitude. My roommate then insisted that it's not a cultural thing.

At this point, I brought up the fact that cultures and societies in the past didn't have any issues with homosexuality and that homosexuality wasn't anything out of the ordinary for them. My roommate then went on to say that, as humans, we evolved the ability to form associations and then immediately make assumptions (such as the immediate assumption that someone is straight) based on those associations, which is why people immediately assume that everyone's straight. I argued that the fact that the media and society as a whole ignores the reality that homosexuality exists is the reason people make such associations and assumptions about a person's sexuality, and, interestingly, my roommate agreed. So then I asked him why we shouldn't acknowledge homosexuality more in the media or in society, and my roommate said that we're already in the process of doing so, but that it's not going to happen overnight. My roommate then said that his father is homophobic and would flip a shit if he knew his son was rooming with an openly gay roommate. My roommate said that this isn't because his father's a terrible person, but just that he grew up in a generation where he was constantly told that homosexuality is an abomination and therefore he had no reasons to associate with gays.

I don't remember exactly what happened next, but the conversation then turned towards issues that gays have to face in society. My roommate said that he doesn't know what it's like to be gay. So, I told him what my experience was: I didn't know anything about sexuality or sexual orientation (let alone my own) when I was a kid, and I grew up absorbing all of these subtle messages that homosexuality was disgusting, weird, stupid, inferior, etc. And then I was hit hard with the realization that that's exactly what I am when I realized I was gay. I said that I chose not to come out because I, personally, felt ashamed and disgusted with myself, and I didn't care what other people thought of me. And I don't remember exactly what he said, but he said some really awesome things after that that I wasn't expecting, and what he said right there really did make me feel better about myself.

However, at one point, I said something along the lines of "and I don't see why I should have to deal with any of that when straight people don't." To that, my roommate responded that straight people have their own problems. And after my roommate said what he said that made me feel better about myself, I said that I didn't mean to say that straight people have it perfect or that all straight people are living in some paradise. Then my roommate started talking about his experiences as a straight guy.

He said that most straight guys will all flock towards one woman, but that women won't ever approach guys. He said that this is because women are all so confident in their ability to attract men that most straight guys are unable to approach women. Then he said that it gets even more interesting when feminism is introduced to the mix.

He said that he gets and agrees with some parts of feminism, but that on the whole, he finds the movement hypocritical because you cannot possibly want equality for all while focusing solely on the issues of one sex (and then he went on to say the same about gay rights). I raised the point that at least some feminists do care about men's issues, but argue that a lot of men's issues stem from misogyny/male privilege backfiring agains them. And my roommate disagreed.

My roommate then started talking about how a former girlfriend of his was tired of dealing with street harassment and asserted that all street harassers are simply misogynist assholes. My roommate then went on to say that he believes that these street harassers are men who come from poor, uneducated backgrounds and behave the way they do because they either don't know any better due to their lack of education or feel that they have nothing to lose from making an ass out of themselves due to their backgrounds/upbringing. And my roommate then said that these particular issues are faced by a lot of men and that street harassment won't go away unless you deal with the issues that cause men to behave this way.

Then the subject of equal pay came up. At this point, it was late and I just wanted the conversation to end, so I have no idea why I did this, but I raised the point that the wage gap narrows significantly (but doesn't completely disappear) when you take into consideration factors such as the job fields men and women go into, whether or not men or women are more likely to change their job somewhere down the line, etc. Then my roommate gave a speech about how he doesn't understand why women are complaining when there are so few women in fields such as engineering. I then brought up the point that I believe that there are other external factors contributing to the wage gap, such as certain female-dominated jobs being underpaid and women possibly feeling pressured to pursue (or not pursue) certain degrees, and that sparked yet another discussion. At this point, it was 1:30 AM, so I just ended the conversation and went to bed.

Like I said, I just don't know what to make of all this. When I came out to my roommate, he said some really awesome things and even said that I could talk to him if I had any issues related to my sexuality. And even just in general, I've been struggling with depression for some time now, my roommates are all aware of this, and this roommate said that he wants to help me with that.

I don't think my roommate's a bad person, and I don't want to talk shit about him behind his back (and please refrain from posting comments like "you're roommate is an asshole"), but...IDK. I don't know if my roommate just doesn't understand the plights of certain minorities or if he's misinformed or what. And I guess I don't know how I should feel or what to make of any of this. So...yeah, I guess I just thought I'd get your guys' opinions/responses.