"Straight Vibe"

I am fairly positive that your appearance has something to do with it. Based on your photos, your feature appear predominantly masculine and many people automatically equate masculinity to heterosexuality.

I wouldn't consider it a bad thing at all. I do believe that it is problematic to label you as having a "straight vibe" rather than a "masculine vibe". Though that says nothing about you and everything about them.

 

I get the same thing too , I always wonder what the hell is the straight vibe .
One gay guy called me a straight acting lesbian . not offended but I'm thinking is it that hard to tell I'm lesbian .

 

Is that you in the picture? Yeah, I can see that.

 

You look masculine. It is probably that.

 

The same thing happens to me. I don't get it. *shrugs*. I'm not sure what a "straight vibe" or a "gay vibe" is, but, apparently, I'm not able to give off the latter. No one thinks I'm gay. . I spent an entire year with the same small group of classmates and we talked about everything including our sexual interests, but at the end of the year they still had no idea I was gay. *headdesk* Despite me repeatedly announcing my attraction to whatever girls the men were fawning over.

---------- Post added 7th Oct 2014 at 11:34 PM ----------

What's totally weird about this is that my older brother is really masculine. He's buff and manly and all that jazz, but people think he's gay (he's not). :eusa_doh:

 

I think so many people judge us on appearance, tone of voice and use of language Mangotree. If I look at your photo's you appear quite masculine (no bad thing in my opinion) and masculinity is often equated to heterosexuality. I don't know what you sound like, but if your voice is quite deep and accented and your language is fairly laid back, that adds to the perception. There are other, more nuanced characteristics that may give off a certain vibe (the way we stand, sit or walk for example).

I've found it's my voice and choice of words that normally set off other people's gaydar and leads to speculation about my sexuality.

 

Gen's entire post makes sense but I believe this might be the reason. Let's face it. Some people, by appearance, how they carry themselves, and other characteristics, could appear to be 110% masculine or feminine and still be 110% gay or lesbian. Don't worry about it. I don't think you are, though. You're just wondering what that comment was all about. I've heard some funny comments that made me roll over laughing and which I shared with some friends who did the same!

---------- Post added 7th Oct 2014 at 11:00 PM ----------

I agree and I've seen this. I can trash talk with the best of them. When I am in a formal situation and choose my words carefully to come across as intelligent, even if the voice is not an "issue," it sets some people off. That's THEIR problem.

 

First thing that caught my eye... that thing on your face that resembles a beard, i'd get rid of it. Hints at sloppyness due to it not even being formed properly, a typical hetero thing. Next thing, you kind of look, scary. Like, i wouldn't talk to you because firstly, you have this huge muscular body so evidently you "must" be a bodyguard or something. Also that serious look doesn't help matters. I mean, for god sake, learn to smile a bit, stop hiding behind those huge ass glasses. Aviator glasses don't suit you, they scream "i'm so hetero, i don't have any taste at all". You look more, gay on the first and second picture, in the album "mix", than on the last two. Jacket is nice, but, screams "badass" which in this situation is not something good. Body grooming would help, immensely. I don't know what you're "into" but, shaving at least, your arms is a good idea, way too hairy, unless you're into that sort of thing. To me, it just looks sloppy and lazy, again... something akin to a heterosexual.

 

You kinda look like non-feminine guy which automatically means straight for some people.

People have weird ideas about "gay man"... even the gay people themselves.

Don't be bothered with it too much. You look great... both outside and inside.

 

shinji (post #9) sounds like he wants to make you over in a big way. The make over wouldn't be you! I'd be willing to bet most of us here, and everywhere, think you look fine the way you currently look. I only find this amusing because different people have different takes on what it takes to be aesthetically appealing.

 

Honey, the world doesn't revolve around you and your taste in men.
You're being offensive and condescending.

 

^ that.

some people are homophobic (and dumb...) enough to stereotype gay males as pink shirt wearing, hairdressers. If you behave and look 'masculine' then you can't be gay (in their view...).

 

I'm being realistic and sharing my own personal opinion, like everyone else here.

In disagreeing with me you are basically putting yourself in my position, making your own beliefs seem more "correct" than mine.

It's simple really, gay men need to take care of themselves, more, due to a smaller dating pool size. Taking all measures to "look" good and increase the chances of finding someone. This directly translates to simple stuff, like having at least "some" sense of taste in clothes, to more serious aspects like body grooming, behavior and overall lookout on life. If one falls into the minority, it is not something wrong and yes, granted, "change" should not occur if one is happy with how they are.

Do notice the original posting however. The person is clearly asking for a definite description/reason as to why they might seem heterosexual. Advices on how to "change" this, are just something that is an expected aftereffect, from asking such a question.

Do excuse my off-topic ramblings, just wanted to clear things up.

 

I get that too, probably since I don't act stereotypically gay or exhibit any of those qualities or tendencies that they themselves are looking for.

 

Except when we (you, me, and probably a lot of people here) get caught intensely looking a second or two longer than we should have!

 

As a more masculine gay, how the hell do you signal to other men that you're gay? This is a serious question. Like you, OP, people just assume I'm straight because I have facial hair, enjoy watching sport and generally don't exhibit any obviously gay characteristics.

So how do you indicate that you're gay without having to shave your arm hair and your beard off or do other ridiculous stuff?

 

I agree with the others that you look quite masculine, but in no way is it a bad thing. People just assume based on stereotypes.

 

I don't want to stereotype but I've found that straight people tend to have stricter connections between masculinity/femininity and sexuality. Even though it's becoming more common to see "masculine" gay guys, homosexuality is still typically seen to be connected to effeminate men (which of course being effeminate is not a bad thing).