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Dating websites

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ClosetNixie, Oct 9, 2014.

  1. ClosetNixie

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    So what are people's opinions on dating websites?

    I've used them before and had both good and bad experiences. Personally, I find them useful to get to know someone and see if there is a 'click' before actually meeting them. As I'm not a bar/club/drinking sort of person, my fear with going to bars/clubs is that the people I find there are mainly going to be people who enjoy the nightclub scene and are not really looking for a stable relationship- hence why dating websites let you connect with people on a 1. sober level and 2. I suppose a more real one?

    I don't know, let me know your thoughts :slight_smile:

    Until next time...
     
    #1 ClosetNixie, Oct 9, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2014
  2. LD579

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    Dating sites can't actually be named here since we have users as young as 13, but your second question is legitimate. At any rate, I just wanted to give a reminder to people.

    EDIT: Re: below post: No worries =]
     
  3. ClosetNixie

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    Ah, I didn't realise that, I'm sorry :slight_smile: I'll edit it for just opinions. Thank you for letting me know x
     
  4. SemiCharmedLife

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    I met my boyfriend on one, so that's one good thing about them :slight_smile:

    I wouldn't pay for one (I'm cheap like that, plus the people on those sites tend to be seeking long-term relationships from the start, which I wasn't), but there are free ones out there if you look for them.
     
  5. jay777

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  6. NingyoBroken

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    I don't have a problem with them. I'd probably use one if I was of age and it was free and to my liking.

    To be honest, living in a small southern town, online dating in general will probably be the only way to find a boyfriend, considering my quite specific taste and that I am trans (I'm pretty sure anyone from here would touch a Trans guy with a ten foot pole. Not that I'd want them either.)
     
  7. OGS

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    I've never used one--by the time I came out I already lived in a major metropolitan area with plenty of prospects so I never really saw the point. And to be fair it was more than 20 years ago and they were pretty new at the time. But I think if I felt like I was not meeting people in other venues I would probably give it a try.

    On a sidenote it really hasn't been my experience that the average person in a gay bar isn't interested in a serious relationship--just my experience, but I'll put it out there because I find a lot of people espouse this view without having any real experience of the phenomenon-you know, stereotyping...
     
  8. DigitalHusky

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    Ugh I think they are a TERRIBLE solution to be honest. I think humans should have physical contact and not be so shy about opening up, todays generation is so "shelled-up" we run our lives in a virtual world. I wish people werent so shy..but I am introverted too..however I do "open-up" when I get to know people. However how can we know people if we dont open-up with themselves?
     
  9. Blossom85

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    I am on a few dating sites and haven't had a lot of success with it yet.. I am a little worried now that there has been a few bad reports about a couple of sites, mainly in that you need to make sure you know who you are talking to and feel comfortable.. I am going to keep trying and see what I can come up with before I say I am done with them.
     
  10. ClosetNixie

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    I did try to emphasise the 'mainly' part. I'm sure there a good proportion of people who go to clubs, bars etc and are looking for serious dating and maybe even that someone special.

    However, simply from my personal experience, I've found that a large proportion of the people I've met when I have gone out- are the sort of people who I don't really have an interest in.

    I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear before, I really don't want to come across of stereotyping.
     
  11. QueerTransEnby

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    Seems like most are either looking for a hookup or to get a green card.
     
  12. NatWheeled

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    Well, I've tried a few dating sites...but that was when I was looking for Mr Right. I hadn't quite admitted that what I was really looking for was Mrs Right lol. Things I've noticed bout dating sites from my experiences,

    1. Most the interesting ones live far away, which is fine if ya don't mind long distance relationships.
    2. There are just as many Casanovas and one nighters online as in the bars n clubs
    3. Beware of con's and scam artists
    4. If the site you choose is international, beware of visa seeking foreigners. Now, obviously not all foreigners are in it for the visa only, but they're definitely around. Although I dunno if they're as desperate to get to the UK as they are to the USA.

    Now I met my girlfriend, not on a dating site but on a chat app that I had downloaded to my tablet. There are several different ones. The app has many chatrooms sorted by country, or hobby etc. You can go in and just hang out. Making friends etc.
     
  13. wolf of fire

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    I think if they work great, I'd not use one as dating is not important to me.
     
  14. Hexagon

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    They're alright. I don't have any particular problems with them.

    Oh, and by the way, the rule about naming sites is utterly ridiculous. Dating sites get named on the news, and are easy enough to find using a google search. Both things thirteen year olds are able to access. So what exactly do you think you're protecting them from? It isn't like under 18s are allowed to sign up to them anyway.
     
  15. thekillingmoon

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    Good if you're looking for hook ups, terrible if you're looking for a relationship.
     
  16. dreamcatcher

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    I don't think dating sites are inherently good or bad. I met my ex on one and she was pretty great. I do think you need to go in with an open mind and not get too hung up on the first person you meet. I do have a couple of suggestions for when it comes to dating sites based off of my experience if anyone is interested.
    1) Look up what kind of dating site it is. Some dating sites have a history of being exclusively used for hookups whereas other websites have more people that are interested in relationships.
    2) Talk to multiple people on the dating sites. Don't just get hung up on one person because the reality is you don't know if that person is really who they say they are. If you become invested in that one person you may become severely disillusioned if it turns out they aren't who they say they are. Also, I feel that talking to multiple people on the sites allows you to be more objective as you can compare people and really see which people are more suitable to you.
    3) If you've been talking to them for a long time and they still don't wanna meet, I would be cautious. Make sure you talk long enough so that it's not too soon but at the same time, don't wait too long. Chances are they could be messing with you or really have no interest in meeting.

    Well, that's all I have to suggest. I really think dating sites are quite useful but I totally understand why many people feel so apprehensive about using them.
     
  17. FireSmoke

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    I prefer gay bars. I want to see a person face-to-face!
     
  18. Randomcloud

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    I'm too scared to use them (not for safety reasons, mind you)...it's weird but I feel more comfortable at a bar/club. Also, as someone mentioned, I think I just find it hard to connect to people enough to want to date them without first having face-to-face contact...if that makes sense
     
  19. ClosetNixie

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    I do agree, but I think meeting people online and then maybe meeting them for a coffee too see if the click exists, saves a lot of heartache in the long run.
     
  20. CyclingFan

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    They're a microcosm of the rest of society. Some are better than others.

    I find it a pretty low cost and easy way to cast a wider net and meet more people. If you're hoping that you're just going to hop on there and find "the one" (ugh, do I hate everything about that concept), then you'll be severely disappointed. If you're looking to increase the number of interactions you have with people who you might have a mutual attraction, especially past the completely superficial, then they can be great.

    ---------- Post added 10th Oct 2014 at 09:13 AM ----------

    That's exactly how I use them.