Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbian ?

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

I wish I had the answer to that one.. I know my Dad has this thing that he doesn't mind thinking about two women together but not two men together and I wonder if he will stop those particular thoughts he has as well. He doesn't believe a man can turn a woman straight, he just has that idea in his head that girl on girl is fine and guy on guy isn't which is what I imagine most straight men think. They think it's fine for two girls to be together as it's hot in their opinion, but not two men.

I think what you are talking about is a belief he holds so wether that belief would hold true about his own daughter, I don't know.. You just don't know, it's a very personal and individual thing to have those kinds of beliefs I think.. I think only time will tell once you are able to be honest with him about it.

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

Wow! What a fascinating question! I have absolutely no real insight into this whatsoever, but I'd *love* to know the answer.

It's like how could it help but change his view...and yet sexual attitudes are so ingrained! I suspect the most likely outcome would be that he'd have a hard time accepting his daughter's sexuality (i.e., he'd separate his fetish from her).

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

You ask some great questions. Subscribing....

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

I always had the feeling that most men with fetich for lesbians are very homophobic! Because they objectify the girls' sexuality, they don't really support it

It's not a bad thing to be turned on by it just don't be hypocrite about it. And answering your question, if the parent is homophobic then yes, he would be upset/disturb by it but it would be silly if he stops finding it attractive... just like it would be silly if a straight mother stops finding men attractive just because her children are straight

When you have questions like this ask yourself if it would be the same struggle in a heterosexual context

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

That's another example of male ariganc. Trying to show that men are the dominant gender. Seriously you shouldn't take any notice of that.

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

Well, probably not. How their heterosexual daughters/wives don't make them stop fantasizing about other women might be an example.

Generalizing male behavior or any human behavior usually turn in with iffy results so let's say it depends on person.

On worst( or best depending on person) case he might start fantasizing about his daughter?...

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

This is the real point of the thing from male point of view as much as I can tell. All the men I know thinks lesbians will welcome them with open arms as if they were lacking a man to nail them and give him best service because he is God's gift to those poor woman.

This also kinda root of their problem with gay guys, at least part of it. Many man can nail anything living. So for them gays, bisexuals or people having sex with animals do that as a choice, a choice orienting from their lack of personality and morals.

I was kinda aware of the porn movies/sites featuring animals but amount of novels written in 60s or 70s really shocked me. Let's say ammount is twice of the gay stuff on the site I am reading those old crappy erotica books.

Still at the end of the day we are called perverts. :icon_sad:

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

This is what I think as well. He would just compartmentalize it.

Stocking, you seem to hold this view that this is sort of the norm among hetero men. I hold the view that it isn't. Your view is valid, because it sounds like that's what you've experienced. Most of the fully (as far I know) hetero men I've known weren't in the least bit interested in lesbians and went out with women who were available to them - they disliked lesbians about a hair less than they disliked gay guys.

I'd love to get another answer - what percentage of hetero men have a lesbian fetish. Since people love to talk in percentages when it comes to sexuality, this is another percentage that would be interesting to know.

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

Got it. It sounds like a lot of key people in your inner circle have this idea, so I can see why you've experienced this notion more than most.

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

Well if you would ask them what food they most dislike...
if they would come to like it if they would eat it... probably not...

now compared to food they like...
showing they have their preferences...

( do that at your own risk... don't know how they would react, you know them better...)

In my opinion, some people just don't know better.
Some are able to leave the box presuming people are like them, some can't.

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

This. Mothers don't stop finding men attractive because they have sons, and fathers don't sop finding women attractive because they have daughters.

I think with fetishizing of lesbians amongst some men, and equally of gay men amongst some women (plenty of women watch gay pornography - some reading here and here) its a case of them getting "double the money" - two of whatever they are attracted to instead of one.

I think men watching lesbian pornography is particularly understandable (although not great) because of homophobia. The purpose of men in straight porn is to have sex with the girl and essentially act as a proxy for the straight male viewer (the viewer imagining himself in that man's place). Some men prefer not to view this naked man as it makes them uncomfortable (who knows, perhaps these men have limited imaginations and so can't picture themselves in the man's role?) and so lesbian pornography gives them to opportunity to see women having sex without men involved.

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

Prevailing attitudes seem to change really slowly, unfortunately. Faster in some areas of the US than others.

XKCD recently did an interesting comparison between acceptance (and legality) of interracial marriage and same sex marriage in the US. Pointing out that we legalized interracial marriage way ahead of majority acceptance, but the opposite is happening with same sex marriage.

The thing that floors me though, is that it took until 1995 for polls to show majority acceptance of interracial marriage. Growing up in a more progressive area, I didn't even realize it was that bad so recently. Even twenty years later though, and we still aren't even close to 100%. I am afraid it will take a lot of time for the old ideas to get purged.

But it will happen.

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

I've heard of this rationale numerous times. I wonder if the attitude that you are excluded from the picture is also held by straight men about lesbian porn and straight women about gay porn.

 

Re: Do fathers stop fetisizing lesbians once they find out their daughter is a lesbia

Do you know Yaoi? Japanese Boy Love Manga? It is traditionally created by female artists for female readers. There are so many yaoi fangirls, sorry forgot their special term for it, on the net.

Bara is more porn like and created by gay artists for male readers.

Yaoi has more traditional roles (Seme & Uke), more androgyne characters and focus greatly on love/relationship.

Bara drawn with more mascular characters, they usually focus on sex but always hint some emotions budding or build between characters.

I like both but love bara more artistically. They drawn more closer to western comics.