1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Wait time/ Being ignored

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by RainbowSocks, Oct 15, 2014.

  1. RainbowSocks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2014
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Okay, I know this is a weird question and I'm being a total baby about it and I'm trying to talk myself into being less upset but it's not working so maybe someone else can talk me into it...

    How long do you think it's appropriate to go without responding to someone's text message? Assuming you're not at work...or dying lol.

    I know people get busy and ignore their phones occasionally, but after waiting 3 hours for a response, what I said wasn't even addressed. It was completely ignored. Actually I think that's what is irritating me so much. Not the fact that I waited, the fact that my messages weren't even acknowledged after waiting that long.

    Will someone please just tell me to suck it up cupcake, it's not that big of a deal? I mean I'm at the point where I"m about to mute my notifications and just not respond to messages at all today. If I can be ignored, so can everyone else! Sorry guys, thanks for letting me rant. I feel like such a fricken baby. Maybe I just need caffeine. Or a nap. Or a straight jacket.
     
  2. RAdam

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2014
    Messages:
    188
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    The Dutchlands
    3 hours is nothing if someone is busy. I don't keep my phone next to me 24/7 either so I don't expect other to :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I can go like 6 hours without getting a reply before I respond. Anwser me ho.
     
  3. CyclingFan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2014
    Messages:
    1,362
    Likes Received:
    30
    Location:
    Northern CA
    Really depends on my relationship with the person. I've got a friend who I know might respond as late as a week later or more, depending on what I sent.
     
  4. Jenna0780

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2014
    Messages:
    169
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    One of the beautiful things about text messaging, is that people can respond whenever they get a chance, or feel like it. I'll usually go a few days without responding to a text message sometimes, or I may even forget about it all together. Also, people sometimes send texts just to say hello, which I usually don't respond to at all. So, I suppose, depending on your message, and whether or not there was some urgent matter that needed to be addressed, that person may not even think to reply to it at all. It's not that you're being a baby, some people just see things differently. What you may see as someone ignoring you, maybe someone else thinks that what you messaged didn't really need a response.
     
  5. Quem

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2014
    Messages:
    1,288
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Netherlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Only 3 hours? That's not much at all in my opinion. If someone would expect me to answer in less than 3 hours, I would find that very odd and I would certainly tell that person that he/she can't expect me to answer that quickly.

    Even when I'm not really busy, I don't check Facebook/anything else all the time. I have other things to do as well, also in my free time. =)

    I would say if you are ignored for 24 hours and you know that the person has time to reply, then I would agree. But it depends on the person. I know people who check my messages once a week as they don't really like to text/chat. So I'd rather talk to them in person.
     
  6. RainbowSocks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2014
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    We text 24/7 if not at work. We're both the type of people that keep their phone within reach at all times. If it's not on my body, it's close enough that I can answer it before it rings the 2nd time.
    I woke up this morning and had 20 messages from her. Why am I so upset? I don't get it. I don't want to be upset. It's not that big of a deal. Why am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?

    To clarify, it wasn't a random message. This is someone that I'm constantly texting. You're more likely to see a zebra with spots than to see us not texting each other.
     
    #6 RainbowSocks, Oct 15, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2014
  7. FireSmoke

    FireSmoke Guest

    I always repond to text message in 30 minutes, not more, to people I really care about. If this person don't respond you soon it means he\she doesn't really care about you.
     
  8. Black Raven

    Black Raven Guest

    Joined:
    May 6, 2014
    Messages:
    908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Don't be such a sodding sissy about people responding to your messages.

    If you can't wait, call.
    If you can, just wait.

    People have lives, and all that texting can get annoying.
    Not to mention that sometimes people would rather wait to come up with an appropiate response than just text something back real quick.

    You're not a teenager constantly hooked on your smartphone, you should be able to deal with it. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    Text messages and the likes are overrated anyway.

    But that's just me.

    Other than that, Jenna is spot on.
     
    #8 Black Raven, Oct 15, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2014
  9. HM03

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2013
    Messages:
    2,623
    Likes Received:
    508
    Location:
    Pergatory
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    For Facebook messaging and such, people know I hate texting/messaging. I get the message, maybe send a one word reply, then ignore it :lol: If it's the only way of talking to someone, like on EC, then I don't mind it. But if I'll see them the next day at school, then I'll get the message and talk to them about it the next day in person :lol:
     
  10. RainbowSocks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2014
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Thank you, that's what I needed.

    Lol actually BlackRaven I AM constantly hooked on my smartphone. Also, I don't talk on the phone. Period. I hate it. If you call me, I won't answer (unless it's work). I won't even get take out unless I can order it online...cause I ain't calling. And she's the same way.

    I text. Constantly. Especially with this person. Believe me if she thought texting was annoying our friendship would have ended a LONG time ago. We don't do phone calls. Either of us. That's why I got so annoyed. It's not normal for this to happen with her. I think something is up though. She flooded my inbox while I was asleep and now that I'm awake, she's quiet.

    HM03...it's a weird situation, we only see each other about once a month.
     
  11. lb41974

    lb41974 Guest

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2014
    Messages:
    739
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I guess I am the weird one because I expect an answer to a text with in a few min . lol I have a iPhone and it tells me when they have read the message and if you have time to read it I feel you have enough time to say something at least I will text later or something it bothers me so bad lol but again I am a strange duck ROFL
     
  12. Black Raven

    Black Raven Guest

    Joined:
    May 6, 2014
    Messages:
    908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    You're welcome. :eusa_ange :eusa_whis

    Whoa.
    Err. Okay.
    I'm the polar opposite, so I fear this really is the wrong topic for me. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    I feel so very old and old-fashioned right now.
     
  13. RainbowSocks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2014
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    No need to feel old or old fashioned. I think it's more of a social anxiety issue. I've never liked talking on the phone. I don't even like talking face to face that much. Except to a few people. Texting is the worlds greatest invention in my mind. There was a whole thread on the phone/social anxiety connection yesterday I think.

    Anyway, thanks for the kick in the pants everyone! I needed it.
     
  14. Candace

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2013
    Messages:
    3,819
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    I go a few hours before I ask if something's up. Well, it depends on the expecting deadline. If it's making plans for the next day, then I'll expect a more urgent response.
     
  15. Snever2late

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2014
    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Okay, I'm a heavy texter as well, and I have a friend who I text basically 24/7 too, but don't see or talk to on the phone often at all. Three hours is about the time I start getting :eusa_thin but sometimes there's a good reason for it, sometimes she just needs a break. Actually I'm at about 4 1/2 hours right at the moment...but we did have a bit of an argument. The problem with texting...you never know if what you're saying is being taken as meant :confused:
     
  16. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Messages:
    2,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    кєηтυ¢ку
    There are a few factors, to consider here.

    Individually, whoever you are texting, if you know them, and you know they are glued to their phone, and they do not answer fairly quickly... outside of being dead, dying, or having their hands tied up... there isn't very much excusable room left. Either they don't feel you need a response, they don't want to give a response, or they looked, told themselves they'd get back to you, but forgot about it. Sometimes, people won't respond to a text, even when they remember to, if "too much time" has passed -- I have always found this one silly, unless you're responding to a text, from a month ago. A day or two is fine, maybe even three or four days.

    In general, I believe Black Raven covered it. But I want to add something here, something I've heard and witnessed.

    When I was running around with a motley crew, there were a few young ladies over, a lot. I'd watch them on their phones, and listen to them talk. I recall a few of them commenting on who they were texting. Some of the individuals got top priority, and some got half-assed answers or nothing at all. I know, this can't be used to judge or predict the entire human race, but it is something to take note of.

    A wise fellow once told me: "If somebody really likes you, you'll get a response." It may not come immediately, but it'll come, because if they like you, they want to be around you, and they will respect you, because they don't want you to feel bad. This can be applied to anything, and not just a romantic/dating intention.

    When you text, you are accepting the text etiquette of the world. Slow responses, no responses, even half-assed responses. If you want something more meaningful, you have three options:

    One, you find other people to communicate with.

    Two, you start calling people instead.

    Three, you go out and interact with people, and leave the texting world alone.

    Technology is a fantastic addition to society, but it has made us very dumb in terms of social skills. Too many hide behind it, and many more use it as justification for dehumanizing another. It is a lot easier to ignore or half-ass respond to someone, when you see the pretty word bubbles and fancy texts, than if they were right there, in front of you. There are pros and cons, but this is beginning to branch off, elsewhere...

    To sum it all up. Text somebody, then wait. If it is really important, send a follow up text. If still nothing, try calling. If nothing then, you wait it out. You've done everything you can, without going into obsessive stalker territory, LOL.
     
  17. Blossom85

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2014
    Messages:
    1,377
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New South Wales, Australia
    I have had to really tone down when I expect messages from people.. however I find it annoys me when one of them always uses the excuse of he is too busy especially if he read the message. I get busy too, however I make that friendship important by messaging him, so I just often feel like it's a one sided friendship. I find I don't read messages at all till I am ready to reply, so people don't think I am ignoring them.